John Wise

Need a sign that’s not spray-painted on an alley wall late at night? Don’t need to render Britney Spears on a five-story LCD? Maybe what you need is a temporary sign. Low cost, colorful, quick, and easy to acquire, a vinyl sign just might do the trick. This four-foot-wide, eighteen-inch-high banner was done the same day as ordered and cost about $80 including tax. Probably my favorite of temporary signs though would be the freeway overpass with chain link fence where someone presses paper or plastic cups into the mesh to spell out a personal message.

A lighted sign for your business these days will cost you between $3,000 for a typical eighteen-foot-wide neon or LED light fixture to hundreds of thousands of dollars for a fifty-foot-tall Las Vegas-style blinking sign with super big screen video capability. The larger the sign, the better the chance your business will see drive-by traffic stopping in. Next to freeways, gas stations often place signs at such heights that drivers easily see them from more than a quarter-mile away. In the case of the Old Heidelberg Bakery here, it doesn’t really matter the size of the sign as being the only German bakery and grocery store for miles in any direction, those of us wanting authentic German food items have little choice but to find this little shop at 2210 E. Indian School Road in Phoenix, Arizona. If you are lucky you might arrive at the day and time when the two sisters who share running the shop are pulling hot fresh bread from the ovens. If you are not so lucky, check out the almond horns, pretzels, brotchen, or pick up some sauerkraut, bratwurst, and some spicy German mustard for a taste of Germany in the Arizona desert.

Today’s sign is an illegal one. From the hand of someone typically poor but no less desirous to see their mark shine amongst others, graffiti is at times the only method available for the poor and minorities to have their signage in the public eye. This form of signage is the oldest available to those seeking the opportunity to leave messages to others in a society or clan. From the cave paintings of primitive man to the hieroglyphs of ancient Egyptians to the usage of petroglyphs by Native Americans, right up to contemporary mankind using neon and plastic to announce one thing or another. Today, we frown upon the rampant and what most consider rude and defacing usage of graffiti while condoning those who pay their licensing fee and stay within a narrow parameter of what is typically considered good taste. In the end, the objective is the same, we want recognition that we have been here. The creative, innovative, or hard-working will find a surface or storefront and leave their mark in the here and now, others will await their gravestone to announce they, too, were here.

This is the home of XERO and David Therian. Not to be confused with Village Labs and Jim Dilettoso. David has been a prime mover in helping create an underground art scene in the downtown Phoenix crackhead neighborhoods near where this decrepit building stands. Sadly, the leadership of our resort town has plans for more golf courses, luxury hotels, bigger and better shopping mixed with generic communities of cloned soothingly dull uber dorks. Here in Arizona, non-conformist art has a place right next to those guys spotting UFOs.

Joke about nukes, die by nukes. I can’t believe I should suffer such an ugly fate. Seems like just yesterday I was joking about Dear Leader messing about with them big boy toys and sure enough he goes and kills the planet – what a d#$%. Fortunately, the guys at Heaven’s Gate were right and the spaceship was right there to pick me up. Ported into my light body I am able to post photo of the day blog entries while I party at a secret location close to Alpha Centauri with L. Ron Hubbard (who happens to be laughing, too). Be careful, as I wouldn’t have believed it myself but George W survived and is still in charge of what remains, he really is an alien reptilian from inside the hollow earth – kinda scary what I’m learning from the beyond.