The Surrealism Of It All

Sunrise on Highway 138 in California

The act of going on vacation, which I termed Remote Self-Isolation, was fraught with tensions due to the escalating outbreaks and fears that with the colder weather and holiday season that pulls families together, America would experience a massive uptick in COVID-19 infections. For the month prior to our departure, I was never sure if our road trip to the Oregon coast was going to take place. Travel restrictions, lodging cancellations, or lock-down orders were never far from my mind.

When we finally started moving west towards the California border, each mile felt extraordinary because we were actually traveling for pleasure during a pandemic. It felt counter-intuitive. We made it to Fresno, California, over 600 miles from home, back on the first day. I was still incredulous that we’d be allowed to take a room in a hotel, as though we’d be questioned about our travel intents. Maybe if our reason for being on the road wasn’t strong enough, we’d be denied lodging and so I was prepared with some concocted nonsense story just in case we were questioned. That story was never well thought out as I know it wasn’t reasonable that we’d be asked anything as truckers and people moving homes had continued traveling the whole time, but that’s where nine months of self-isolation had put a part of my brain.

Entering Oregon, the place was at once familiar and, at the same time, different. Traffic was lighter; that was probably the first thing you would notice. Restaurants were closed or had prominent signs up telling passers-by that they were still doing takeout or food to go. Sure, we’d known this from our bubble in Phoenix. but this was the distant coast, and for some reason, it felt abruptly different. All the same, this was vacation, and if it only lasted a day or two, we’d try to extract all we could from this opportunity to be out. Staying at locations longer, intentionally booking places with kitchens so we could prepare the majority of our meals to choosing our lodgings, considering that we’d be effectively sheltering in place, so we’d better be prepared to entertain ourselves. While it seemed absurd that we should be doing this during a pandemic, things went smashingly well.

But then it all goes and gets wrapped in the punctuation of surrealism as, about 100 miles from home, our car, with us in it, was hit by someone with no interest in dealing with slowing down and confronting what they had just done. We were already traveling at about 75 – 80 mph when a car came out of nowhere and drifted into our lane doing about 100 mph. That car collided with us (or gently bumped us, I suppose) as they quickly recovered and took off even faster while we continued miraculously forward. It took a second for us to wrap our shocked minds around what had just occurred and catapulted us into adrenalized emotional shock. I hit the gas as our car seemed okay to give chase and try to record the license plate. However, that was futile because the other driver was adamant that today was not the day to swap insurance info. I hit 95 mph and started to realize the other person was not, in fact, going to pull over, so I called 911. I learned for the first time that just talking to the phone in my pocket with, “Okay, Google, call 911,” worked to call some 911 network that quickly transferred me to the Arizona Department of Public Safety, our version of the Highway Patrol. At this point, when I started explaining what happened and what we knew about the other driver, it started to really dawn on me that we’d been in an accident. Emotions started to seep in, and I knew the chase was over and that we needed to pull over; the car was in some state of post-crash status, and me getting wrecked, too, now.

Hit and run of our Kia in the Arizona Desert

We pulled off at Exit 81, the Salome Road offramp. Stepping out of the car we couldn’t fathom how little damage there was to the car, considering how the cars collided.

The DPS officer showed up about an hour after the initial call; we made our report and drove home. The time between was good for the two of us, as it allowed the panic to subside and a sense of normal to return. Getting home, we went through the routine of starting laundry, draining the ice chest, putting stuff away, etc. We’d been home a few hours by the time the last effects of the shock were subsiding. It was then that the whole thing truly seemed unreal, “Had we really been the victims of a hit-and-run accident just before lunch today?” We’d just finished nearly three weeks of travels during what amounts to a plague with people masked up, hurt, and in fear. Food from restaurants is taken home or eaten right in the car in a parking lot. Marijuana can be delivered or picked up in the drive-thru. Limits on how many people are allowed in businesses are in effect, and in some cases, you are greeted outdoors when a person in gloves and a mask comes out to ask what you want to buy. We rarely spoke to anyone, and checking into our lodgings, we never saw anyone other than the couple of times we stayed at hotels. The surrealism of it all was astonishing.

Now stop and think about just how strange the entire phenomenon of traveling is as you course over the surface of the earth at 80 mph. Or maybe you are aloft in the sky, 5 miles over the roads and sea, speeding along at 575 mph before arriving at your destination. A room awaits you with the amenities you desire, most likely with heating and air-conditioning, don’t forget the TV and wifi, but if you are renting a house, you can expect the number of bedrooms you reserved along with a kitchen stocked with the utensils and instruments you are likely familiar with at home. You are at this new location with your smartphone at your disposal, so you start live streaming right away to a friend or relative, possibly thousands of miles away, sharing in your amazement.

We take things for granted, we define our normal by what we are currently doing and we rarely stop to reflect on how peculiar it all is. In some way, we are all playing in madness by doing what we do, unaware of how random it is that we try to create patterns of behavior out of the chaos of any number of directions our lives could be lived. We’ve recently been witnessing a political apparatus in Washington D.C. consume itself with the rationalization that, because things were being done the way they were, that must be the way they need to be in order for things to work. Confronted with a pandemic, we strangely throw our hands up and feign ignorance about what we should be doing when to this lay-person it was obvious that we needed to “Stop, drop and roll,” metaphorically speaking.

In the last few weeks, we ventured out to try and capture a small part of our former normal: vacationing in Oregon. An ongoing pandemic hinted this was insane, but we could justify it by explaining that our current normal had grown stale and that we needed a break from the routine. We’d driven Interstate 10, possibly hundreds of times by now. Our normal was simply driving it; this time, reality crashed into us, reminding Caroline and me that the two bipeds in the steel cage were moving 26 times our normal walking speed while a virus that doesn’t know borders was potentially present in places our eyesight doesn’t have the capability to see. How crazy is all this?

Our limited senses need the occasional reboot, and 2020 is certainly a year where slowly everyone on our planet is getting it that life has variables that are not always predictable. Relative stability has been a luxury for many in the West since the end of World War II, but prior to that, humanity was living every year in 2020.

All of this begs the question, “Why are we not striving to do our best at making life more meaningful and equipping each other with knowledge and tools to have better lives?”

The only answer I’ve been able to come up with is that a downtrodden class of people, unable to question their circumstances, are being led by a ruling class of the privileged, afraid to ask many questions or alter paradigms out of fear of losing their wealthy positions. We are stuck in a primitive situation unable to budge from our Stone Age roots. Yeah, I know that calling us Stone Age is a bit dramatic, so maybe readers would prefer I reference that we are closer to our Bronze Age ancestors. But why would I be so condescending when humanity has made such incredible technological strides?

A subset of humanity has made those inventions, building upon advancements discovered by an even smaller group of highly intelligent creators. While many have benefited from the dispersion of tools of convenience and shelter offered to the masses, we individuals are further out of touch with life survival skills, personal sustainability skills, or even interests not ordained by mass culture that is actually created by a very small population of literate and technologically adept individuals. The average person cannot farm, make cloth, build a home, treat a wound, hunt, fish, write coherently, read at a respectable level, and most importantly, think.

Big claim, huh? If we are thinking creatures, then why is the misery bestowed upon so many? In my own way, I try to think about many things, many esoteric things that don’t impact my own life such as where do newts sleep. Are human networking topologies too rigid, will I ever really understand Gilles Deleuze, and does my knowledge of our environment offer me any insight I could share and inspire someone here on this blog with? In that thinking, I find it repugnant that we have “leaders” who are not, in fact, leaders. Former President Obama nor current President Trump ever took Caroline and me to Oregon or Europe; neither of them is responsible for our passports or our curiosity about places and cultures that inspire our imaginations. They only tend to be distractions for some and maybe attempt for the general betterment of society as a whole, but it is ultimately up to the population at large to want those changes. When a large segment of the population is in fear due to their Stone Age intellect and lack of ability to harness today’s tools, they slip further back into a type of primitivism that is so out of step with where we should be as a society. This begins to appear surrealistic. We are becoming the warped characters and distortions found on the artist’s canvas while not recognizing our role on this stage of absurdity. Collectively, we are the shadow figures on a cave wall, unaware of the others in our proximity. Mentally, we are deficient troglodytes pretending to have a grasp on what any of this is.

Today’s outcome could have been very different. The hit-and-run driver didn’t spin us around, didn’t push us off the road into the gravel, didn’t rear-end us, or shoot us off the freeway. With both vehicles traveling rapidly, we kissed and parted company. Repairing our car will cost us at least $1000, as that’s our deductible. Strangely, this doesn’t seem so horrible considering what the circumstances could have been, and in the end, it offers me something to think about and share nearly 2,000 words inspired by it.

But there’s a larger question that arises out of this episode: At what point in our lives are we shocked by the intellectual equivalent of a hit-and-run driver that leaves us aware that we haven’t recognized our own ignorance speeding along and risking our lives? In being hit, I was jarred by the complacency that I was driving just fine, and while the accident was in no way my fault, it does illuminate that no matter how aware you hope to be, there is always something that comes out of your blindspot and demands you see your limitations. When we come to understand that although we believed we knew how things looked and operated, but are in an instant challenged by our perception of reality, our state of being confounded is what surrealism strove to show us. We don’t really understand all angles, and some things are not as they appear. Do you really know what’s around the corner, or are you just hoping that things will go on as they always have?

Voted

John Wise in mask voting in Phoenix, Arizona

Not for a moment would I have ever dreamt that voting would make me as emotional as it did today, but that’s just what happened. It wasn’t who I was voting for or even that I was voting, as I’ve done that plenty of other times in my life. It’s not that I was confronted or badgered at the drive-thru ballot drop-off location. I wasn’t turned away. I hadn’t forgotten my ballot at home.

Voting in Phoenix, Arizona

When we drove up to the only polling station open for early voting here in Phoenix on a Sunday, there was a traffic jam. Arizona’s ballots just went out this week and I got mine yesterday; I’d imagine that was about the same for many people. With horns blaring and many of the cars painted with slogans letting others know they were voting today along with flags fluttering in the wind, there were no less than 50 cars waiting to drive through this parking lot to drop off their vote. People were cheering and celebrating but strangely there was not a single sign of support for Donald Trump. Our surprise overwhelmed Caroline and me.

Heard Museum in Phoenix, Arizona

Driving away kind of misty-eyed we made our way over to the Heard Museum and although we’d not be able to stay long, it didn’t matter as we are members. Instead of seeing much, we spent the majority of our time talking with one of the docents named Mel who could not have been more enthusiastic for a form of art he too is typically not a fan of, modern art. So, we only spent time a little meaningful time with about half a dozen pieces and had a cursory glance over the other works on exhibition. We’ll certainly have to come back soon.

Caroline Wise at the Phoenix Art Museum

I’d like to point out that last weekend we paid a visit to the Phoenix Art Museum which was just open again for the first time since COVID hit. The painting Caroline is checking out is from William T. Wiley titled, “Modern Ark – After Brueghel.”

The First Day of Not Summer

A fallen leaf in Phoenix, Arizona

Today is not the 1st of September, it’s not Halloween, it’s not yet Thanksgiving, nor is it the election. It is the first day of not summer. While it was two days ago that we finally dipped below 100 degrees (38c), today was marked by the first leaves I’ve seen falling to the ground as a nod to the fact we’ve passed summer. Some would call this fall or autumn and then they might want to reassure me that winter is on its way, but I live in the Desert Southwest of the United States and we have two seasons here; summer and not summer. This is not a lament, it is simply pointing out contrast to other places.

Here on 10/10/2020, we are still in shorts and short-sleeve shirts and while out on the first walk around our neighborhood this morning it was a brisk 72 degrees (22c). I asked Okay Google what the temperature was in Flagstaff, 130 miles (210km) north of us, and it was a very chilly 42 degrees (5c), close enough to freezing that I’d have needed a jacket. These falling temperatures also signify a milestone in our quality of life indicators as we are now able to open our windows for nearly 3 hours in the morning and hopefully in the next 30 days our air conditioning will shut off for the last time this year and not have to be turned back on before April 2021.

This has typically been the beginning of our travel season after the kids have gone back to school and vacations are over. Thanksgiving is the last major travel period on the calendar for the masses until Memorial Day on May 31st. But this isn’t a normal year so who knows how our travels will pan out in the coming months.

There’s not much more to note about the summer that just passed as I think the 75 blog entries I made between June 1st and today pretty much covered things while not summer is just starting to unfold. As a matter of fact, to kick things off we’ve decided to take a short drive north to Montezuma’s Castle National Monument for a walk around. The full report will be posted tomorrow.

Update – It’s two hours later and we are home, there will be no visiting anything other than home today as on our drive north an accident well ahead of us brought traffic to a halt. We were committed and felt we’d forge ahead but after more than an hour to travel merely a third of the distance until the jam cleared, we gave up. This is so indicative of 2020.

Retired Shoes

Old shoes

After walking 1,776,239 steps for a total of 826.94 miles these shoes, which were my very first curbside pickup purchase, are being retired. Maybe you are thinking: In the world of blogs, writing about the end of life of your shoes is the best you’ve got? Well, back when I was 16 years old in 1979 there was no ubiquity of data regarding the minutiae of the mundane. Here in 2020, I can tell you that I paid $48.85 at Dick’s Sporting Goods on April 25th, and picked up my shoes at 3:05 p.m., because of the email confirmation that was sent to me almost instantaneously after a clerk put the shoes in my trunk. The order was first processed after PayPal transferred my money at 12:29:24 and, while the shoes were ready for pickup at 12:53, it would take me a while to get ready and drive the 8.5 miles. About 14 minutes after Caroline and I left we were at our location thanks to Google Maps. I checked in with a link in the confirmation email and about 10 minutes later was on my way home.

To be even a little more exact: I should have removed 8,738 steps of the 10,546 I walked that day as the first 4 miles were done before the trip to pick up new shoes, but that’s okay. The impact of the inaccuracy is negligible as if I told you that each mile cost 0.05907 cents or 0.05936 to walk it would still be essentially 6 cents per mile. At a per-step cost, this becomes an exercise in silliness though maybe this entire entry is but for the sake of completeness, my per-step cost figures in at 0.00002685 cents or 0.00002698 per step depending on which cost of mile one refers to. Come to think about it, I probably have enough information at hand to know the price of each breath I take.

By the way, I feel I got the value out of these shoes as it seems most walking shoes are rated for about 300-500 miles of activity. Obviously, I took these a lot farther than that and wore off a lot of sole but if I’m gonna pay almost $50 for a pair of shoes, I want to know they’ll serve me well.

Leaving Out – Day 3

The dry bed of the Gila River in Duncan, Arizona

The day begins in the dry sandy bed the Gila River plies when water spreads out between its banks. Birds are ever-present, though it would seem some species have moved on and maybe others moved in, but we are not ornithologists, so I cannot speak with authority. Beetles are copulating while ants scurry about as they emerge from and retreat into neatly groomed mounds around the passageway to their nests. The morning is pleasant out here and otherwise quiet aside from the distant dogs, chickens, and those birds I mentioned who live along the now-dry riverway.

The dry bed of the Gila River in Duncan, Arizona

We are leary of where our feet settle as we’ve been told to be aware of quicksand and, like all fools, I secretly hoped to find some, though I only dreamt of a periphery experience so I could add having escaped its clutches to the narrative here on my blog. For color, I could have lied while embellishing an otherwise mundane but not uninteresting walk where water should have been and we shouldn’t have.

Gourd along the dry bed of the Gila River in Duncan, Arizona

Checking my head, I cannot give you a good reason as to why we didn’t harvest some of the buffalo gourds that were growing everywhere. Along the river bed in the sandy soil, this stuff thrives, and we happen to be here while it’s still young and edible, and yet we collected not a single fruit. We’ve never eaten buffalo gourd that is said to taste like squash, now I’m tempted to drive the 205 miles back out to Duncan to get some for dinner and see just how tasty or not it is.

Dike on the Gila River in Duncan, Arizona

If you are wondering, we walked upstream and saw not a single sign of fish, dead or living. We exited the dry flow through a gap in the brush that hugs the shore, making our way atop a dike built to contain the invisible river should it decide to come back with a ferocity that might threaten the small town of Duncan. Last January, during our last visit, we were still within the confines of winter, bundled up and scarved to keep the cold at bay. We watched the river with admiration and respect for what might be hidden in the depths that we could not see or fathom. Today, on a late summer day, the sandhill crane shares its call somewhere else, well out of earshot of those in this crispy desert landscape. Funny how our instincts do not shoo us away from inhospitable places like those bird-brained specimens from the aviary family of creatures while we, with our superior intellects, walk right into the situations that threaten our comfort.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Then again, we can just as quickly return to our creature comforts at our lodging to dine on another exquisite meal assembled by deft hands from ingredients collected across a vast geography, while the bird can only eat what it finds in front of its beak. Our first meal of the day was again nothing less than spectacular, but the resumption of our conversation with our hosts that inspired us to want to return would have to wait as a suddenly sickly cat friend who goes by the name Maliki needed to be rushed to a clinic specializing in ailments of four-legged and likely two-winged creatures unable to describe what is wrong and relying on us to interpret the change in their behavior and help save them should the ailment prove dangerous. Later in the day, we’d learned that luckily for all involved, the cat, while apparently traumatized, was not in serious condition and was discharged into the loving arms of the concerned caretakers.

The character of our hosts here cannot be understated as, without a second thought, they were moving to the door with Maliki wrapped up while we inquired about what needed to be locked up as they were about to head up, maybe down, the road. I believe they would have left without our payment had I not pressed it into the hand of Deborah, who was more concerned about this sweet cat than the ability of her guests to show themselves out and to do so graciously.

At the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Before we could depart, we had one more mission to accomplish here at the historic and incomparable Simpson Hotel: we had to revisit the collected works of resident artist Don Carlos. As the inimitable Herr Comrade Carlos, under the steady gaze of a young Felix Edmundovich Dzerzhinsky, a.k.a. Iron Felix, was clearing the way for Maliki to be fully interrogated by a nearby Doctor of Veterinary Sciences, he waved us on to inspect his works that were illuminated and ready for our observations.

At the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

The microcosms inspired by Don Carlos’s investigations are held in suspended animation during these plague days of 2020, but today, we are the lucky ones to have a private viewing at the pace we decide. Without narrative, without music, and only the shuffling sound of our feet, we move between the dioramas, able to peek into the tiniest of corners of the artist’s creativity. I know firsthand that while the emotion held in his work may be broad, the scope of what feeds the expression is larger than any diorama can hope to contain. Fragments and musings of things that have passed through the mind of the artist find their way out to where paths intersect and inject delight within those encountering an imagination that travels and trades in the magic of images, both visual and verbal.

At the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Multidimensionality is alive within the space cultivated here at the hotel. Cats and dragonflies, bees and flowing water, deities, and things organic mix with history being pulled from a global culture not aligned with pretense, dogma, or deeper meaning. My takeaway is this is an assemblage of love where the creator imbues the environment with a universe that hints at passion and recognizes the disorder of an entropic reality we call chaos. Here in the shared mind-space of Don Carlos, I tend to want to feel puny but console my inferiority by accepting his wisdom as that coming from a mentor, even if this formal arrangement is of my making.

At the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Don’t be fooled by the thought that a box is a self-contained object of art, as the world around Simpson Hotel is a diorama in its own right. I could easily entertain the thought that given enough canvas space; Don Carlos would fold all of Duncan into his art; as a matter of fact, it might only be my own myopic viewpoint that doesn’t allow me to grasp immediately that he’s already done precisely that.

At the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Being in the shared imagination of a world you may initially want to still consider your own, you would fail to understand that you’ve entered the living canvas that is borrowing things familiar, but their arrangement removes you from the surrounding desert and embraces you in a dreamlike oasis. Simply browsing without thinking might be a good place to start as you pay a visit, but like Felix the Cat, you should arrive with your Bag of Tricks, where you can unfold your knowledge in order to peer through the filter of history. There’s more here than meets the eye, and sadly, few will ever know the depth of its assemblage.

At the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Being here in Duncan is our re-encounter with life as we knew it earlier this year. This was not exactly the way things were, but as a surrogate wrapped in caution where the players are deeply aware of simple changes that are respectful of those wanting and needing to continue this act of trying to live full lives, it was a gift that starts the healing process after fear hurt our sense of the world. While we cannot travel to Europe, and I’m not ready to fly anywhere yet, I hope to return to the Simpson in the next weeks on my own for a week of writing and immersing myself in nature out the front door while an amalgamation of culture that speaks to my sense of the aesthetic is found on the other side of a screen door.

Guapo the Old Man at the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Just yesterday, we were introduced to Old Man Guapo. This elderly and fading cat was resting out back and obviously not interested in our approach. Shortly before our departure this morning, Guapo took up a position right in front of the door that was our exit. He didn’t budge while I snapped a few photos down at his level, trying to capture the warmth of the sun he was basking in. While listening attentively to my presence, he couldn’t be bothered to look at the person who was more interested in him than he was in me. Slowly, we did our best not to disturb his cozy spot as we barely opened the door to sneak out. Then, without fanfare and farewells, we locked the front door and drove away.

Cotton growing in Safford, Arizona

Out of the imagination of artists and authors and into the mountains, we’d go. The plan was to drive the steep and often harrowing road leading us up Mt. Graham. This mountain oasis springs 10,000 feet out of the surrounding desert and leads into pine trees. Below us, the famous Pima cotton we just passed is flowering under the blistering 107 degrees summer day. Up the mountain, the temperature will drop to a comparatively chilly 73 degrees.

Caroline Wise and John Wise on Mt. Graham in Arizona

Before reaching the summit, we ran out of paved road. If it weren’t for my nerves frayed from constantly glimpsing the precipitous drops that looked to fall thousands of feet to the desert floor below, we might have continued following the trail, but I’d had enough of this adventure ride, took the opportunity to capture a selfie-and beat a retreat. Later on, I had to ask myself: how did I convince myself not to continue the journey? My weak answer is that during these days of divide and conquer, anger and mistrust, illness and death, I find that the encounter with people’s impatience is enough to reassure me that self-isolation might be a preferred state to live in.

Mt. Graham in Arizona

While at the Simpson, we moved from our cocoon at home to a cocoon shared by a couple equally concerned with finding harmony and love in life. In this sense, I want to gel with Vishnu while Shiva can guide the minions over their own spiritual cliff into the abyss of folly and self-harm. When a simple scene of serenity found in the grass, shadows, leaves, trees, the sky above, and insects below has lost its value to me, maybe then I’ll lose my desire to embrace my better zen moments, but until that time I will strive to be at peace.

Deer on Mt. Graham in Arizona

The landscape below us was obscured by the fires burning in Arizona and the smoke drifting in from the more than a million acres smoldering across California. So, instead of panoramas of hazy horizons, we look around us and think of our return and another encounter with the wildlife that calls these mountains home.

Mt. Graham in Arizona

Our next visit could be a guided tour to the observatory atop Mt. Graham; for that we will have to make reservations and get to leave the driving to someone else. Before the end of the day, I’ll be making an inquiry regarding availability.

Indulgence was the only way to describe the remainder of our drive home as in Pima, we made a stop at Taylor Freeze for a couple of chocolate milkshakes, and then in Miami, we just had to revisit Guayo’s El Rey for more carne asada even if we had just been there 48 hours ago. Getting back into the Phoenix area, we were gobsmacked by the heat, a hefty 117 degrees of asphalt melting anger from the sun. Arriving at home, we are no longer out; we are, once again, in.

Edit on September 4th: I just spoke with Deborah, our host at Simpson Hotel, and learned that Guapo passed away 48 hours after I shot this photo on August 26th. He rests in peace in the garden, basking under the sun.

Being Out – Day 2

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Without a sound, we woke from our internal alarm to find the house reflecting its age with quiet. It’s only when moving into the parlor that the tick-tock of a clock becomes our companion to the emerging day. The place settings that were put out the night before identify where breakfast will be, but that’s still being concocted if Clayton and Deborah’s movements in their kitchen are indicators. Coffee is brought out with the promise of being strong in order to appeal to our European sensibility. We start to wipe away the remnants of sleep with this jolt of caffeine and the serenading of opera flowing from the kitchen and wait patiently; Caroline knits a sock, and I am writing.

Breakfast must be identified and accounted for as it is a labor of passion and investment of skills. Initially, we were informed that the cooking services were on hold for the duration of the virus, but it turns out that my rhapsody about the wizardry of tastes that enchanted our memories of a January visit was enough to have Deborah inquire of the man behind the frying pan if he’d be willing to grace us with a new ensemble of flavors to help us break the overnight fast. He agreed.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Aplomb cannot be the right choice of words as I do not believe Clayton finds his time in the culinary alchemist’s lab to be demanding. Our breakfast arrives, radiating the skills of the maestro. We are brought a small ramekin of fresh fruit, a carafe of juice, and a plate separated into threes, which could be a nod to the father, the son, and the holy ghost, or is it a reflection of academia where there is your opinion, my opinion, and someone else’s opinion? On second thought, maybe nothing at all was implied with our servings of veggie frittata, field roast sausage, and chia seed pancakes about to be topped with prickly pear agave syrup, but it’s nice to dream. As for the appeal of the palette? Gluttony would have me asking for seconds while manners dictate I simply gush over the exquisite meal.

Speaking of dreaming, it is time to temporarily leave this house to wander over to the Gila Cliff Dwellings and visit others’ faded dreams.

Gila River at Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

In the distance, long before we ever reach our destination, we start to see where normal used to be. Driving into an adjacent state reminds me of the freedom to roam. Our sense of place has an inherent need to take ourselves to the end of the road in order to look out and wonder what’s beyond the limits of what we can see and know. Our exercise in exploration offers us a footing to better understand what the toil at home is for.  This journey over to Silver City, New Mexico, where we’ll connect to State Road 15 going north through Pinos Altos and up into the Gila National Forest area, where the cliff dwellings are, will literally deliver us to the end of the road.

Caroline Wise at Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

Nearly two hours of twisting, windy road in an air-conditioned car traveling between 25 and 45 mph allowed us to arrive in the middle of nowhere in comfort; we even had iced drinks in the backseat along with snacks for our visit by way of absolute luxury. The entire way, I thought about those who would have lived in the cliff dwelling we are visiting for the second time in our lives. How far did they venture away from home? Had any of them ever gone so far as to walk to the ocean? What was the totality of their universe? I’d wager that they likely did not have concepts for the need to escape on a weekend sojourn to change things up.

Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

From the clues that remain in the area, researchers have surmised that people known as the Mimbres lived in this area, with the Gila River running through it, from about 1,000 to the year 1,250. Only 25 years later, the members of the Mogollon people took up residence on the cliffside, building a series of 46 stone rooms within five caves, but then abandoned the area a bit over 100 years later. We have little certainty about what was in the minds of indigenous peoples of North America since before we could learn of their customs and history, our ancestors tried to annihilate all references and appearances of what they might have contributed to our culture. Such was the weakness our forefathers felt about their own religion. Funny, not funny, how that holds true to this day.

While I stand upon lands they were forced to give us, I cannot stand in their footsteps. I watch the shadows of birds whose ancestors flew over the same adjacent canyons as their descendants. Lizards scurry about just as they would have when the Mogollon and Mimbres people walked amongst them; I can’t help but wonder if the lizards and birds don’t know more about the people of these lands than we ever will.

Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

I’m jealous of the stones that knew the touch and felt the warmth radiating from the people and their hearths, taking refuge from the elements within these homes fashioned by ancient architects. I listen closely to the silence but cannot hear the echoes of knowledge of the band of humans brought to this corner of remoteness.

I don’t mean to infer there was ever anything in North America like a hub or city for the millions of indigenous people that strode among the trees, mountains, rivers, and animals over the centuries. The one thing I can surmise, though, is that while they likely knew hardship, they also knew how to occupy a quiet place upon the land, which has me questioning if they didn’t find a kind of enlightenment in the quiet of the mind when one soars effortlessly within one’s environment.

Caroline Wise and John Wise at Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

But this is all speculation and flights of fantasy, as my own mind is a hive of parasitic jingles and messages conditioned by consumption that were supposed to deliver me to happiness and success. I can have everything shipped home from Amazon, Walmart, musical instrument shops, all kinds of food, even marijuana, but I cannot have anyone bring me the vastness of being from a place that conveys the spectacle only nature can deliver to one’s eyes, ears, nose, and touch. For this reason, I will always be poor.

Wild grape at Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

Had it been the Mimbres or the Mogollon living here, they did so without fee, without tax, without deed, and without anyone to answer to. All they needed to do was survive, and maybe that wasn’t all that easy as, within about 100 years, they abandoned their perch with a view. I don’t believe they all perished, but would like to think they moved on as circumstances had become difficult, which necessitated a relocation, and that their descendants are now in nearby communities. As a visitor to these lands, I’m allowed to take nothing besides my memories and photographs; I cannot even pick a wild grape that would have been free for the taking in the centuries before my ancestors arrived.

Caroline Wise at Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

Caroline has continued in her effort to know something more about the place we’ve been visiting and on our arrival, she inquired about the local Junior Ranger program only to learn she could earn her Senior Ranger badge today. Needing to understand what could be gleaned from a visit to this National Monument, she ventured up the trail, trying to capture every clue from the details on display so that when the park ranger tested her knowledge, she might qualify for the honor of once again taking the oath to help protect what is held as important to our culture. With her right hand raised, socially distanced, and masked up, Caroline is now a Senior Ranger.

Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument in New Mexico

Our own time here was extraordinarily brief, and the timing was perfect, with beautiful skies on hand until they started to darken with the threat of storms on the horizon. We managed to visit another small dwelling and almost missed some incredible pictographs had my eye not caught a hint of them after we’d started to drive away. I reversed back to the Lower Scorpion campground and pulled into the parking lot again so we could take a different trail that delivered the reward of more than a dozen cliffside panel pieces with meanings lost in time or at least lost to the invading forces. We can admire the messaging from afar, but deciphering their intrinsic value is a guessing game that I cannot claim to know how to win.

Driving south toward Silver City, New Mexico

Our signs, on the other hand, are easy to parse, “This windy road pissed off others who passed this way which required them to leave their vehicle with a weapon and attempt to murder the sign.” We’ll pass through old town Pinos Altos on our way back through Silver City, where we’ll need to get dinner. This town is not very well equipped for serving people food on a Sunday. Most restaurants are closed. I can only guess that Silver City is not really on anyone’s map of places to go, and so with a depressed economy, the locals cannot support these businesses seven days a week. If there was a demand from tourists, I’m sure owners would have brought on staff.

Once we’d decided on where we’d pick up food, we started hearing a commotion outside of our windows; it was the buzz of cicadas sounding, unlike the ones we have in Phoenix. Their screams were like a sine wave of volume modulation that would wax and wane, and at the top of their crescendo, you wouldn’t be blamed if you were slightly frightened into thinking some kind of imminent explosion of their species was about to occur. I say, unlike their Arizona brethren, as the chirp is significantly different.

Caroline Wise dining el fresco in Silver City, New Mexico

After our incredibly mediocre Mexican dinner, taken al fresco in a local park, we licked the wounds of having missed out on one of New Mexico’s famous green chili dishes, but there will be other visits to this part of the Southwest in the future. On the bright side, we are enjoying the idea of taking our food to go and finding a picnic table to have a private dinner in the great outdoors.

Driving west towards Mule Creek in New Mexico

Our options to return to Duncan were to go back the way we’d come or take a longer route up north on a road we’d not traveled in years. Of course, we took the long way. Were we rewarded with some spectacular sunset for our efforts? Nope. But, there was one moment when a deep, beet-red sun peeked through a keyhole in the clouds and let us have a tiny glimpse of our star far out in the distance. We’d never seen such a phenomenon and sadly do not have photographic proof as the road we were on was not amenable to pulling over safely to indulge our sense of capturing an aesthetic we’d not experienced yet in all of our years. Such is the magic of the little moments that pass without documentation, images, icons, or words. It feels like the Mogollon people and so many other native peoples from these lands can only be seen as the fleeting image of something profound and beautiful glimpsed through the tiniest of keyholes.