Desolation is a State of Mind

Wildflowers off Highway 74 in Arizona

Avoid all highways, embrace empty spaces, and drive so slow that the tortoises and lizards pass you by. Our wandering route promised to require no less than seven hours before we’d arrive in Shoshone, California, outside of Death Valley National Park, but when taking the backroads, there’s a good chance of frequent fortuitous stops to collect visual souvenirs seemingly lying in wait for a collision with seeking eyes and thoughts that may or may not give them context.

Aguila, Arizona

Similar to the rarity of wildflowers carpeting the desert, encountering a long-closed store is an uncommon sight for people living in an economically viable neighborhood. As I started to write that sentence, it occurred to me that I needed to point out the economically viable part because I know firsthand that those who live in the blighted areas of America’s cities are all too familiar with abandoned buildings that once provided local services. To my eyes, though, they are a novelty that draws me in to capture the current state of a facade that apparently has been neglected since between 2007 and 2012 (based on a poster in the window showing the price for a pack of Marlboro as $5.39 which coincides with that aforementioned time frame). So, while the town looks the worse for wear due to this decaying artifact of the past, up the street, Family Dollar swooped in and, while offering what is likely a greater choice of goods, declined to assume the cost of tearing out this eyesore.

Wenden, Arizona

On the other hand, take the Sunset Motel further west in the town of Wenden, Arizona. Years ago, it was an abandoned hulk collecting cobwebs and graffiti, while today, it has been converted into an artists’ colony. With so much road ahead of us, we felt that our time would be better spent covering said road and considered that maybe a day trip out this way might be in order to better explore these towns we rarely visit.

Salome, Arizona

It has been about 20 years since we last stopped at this place next to the road in Salome, Arizona, wondering what it once was, and to this day are still intrigued that the tie-ups for horses are still standing.

Bouse, Arizona

Well, Bouse, Arizona, must be going to hell because the first time we passed through here, the sign read that they’d gone from 3 to 4 grouchy people among the 875 inhabitants. That it’s grown to 35 grouches suggests the quality of life has gone downhill.

Parker, Arizona

South of Parker, Arizona, along the Colorado River, lives a tribe of Indians called the ‘Aha Havasuu, made up of various other groups, including the Mohave, Chemehuevi, Hopi, and Navajo. Just behind me is a canal full of Colorado River water being used to irrigate the land on that side, while on the far left, fire is being used to clear the remains of a depleted crop. Why the canal on the south side has been allowed to fill with sand is a mystery.

Highway 62 in California

Now, in California, on Highway 62, we have about 100 miles ahead of us, but until we arrive at the outskirts of 29 Palms, we have a wide-open desert to drive across.

Highway 62 in California

Along the way, we’ll see sand, rocks, dirt, shrubs, whispy clouds, deep blue skies, trash, and a lot of asphalt.

Shoe Tree in Rice, California

What we didn’t expect to find was a peculiar variation of the shoe tree. Here in Rice, California, at the remnants of an old gas station, the shoes of passers-by who made a donation to the roof are covering the spot where the pumps would have once stood. It turns out that there used to be an underwear tree that had taken shape on a dead tamarisk tree, but it and the underwear burned, and with what was left, a shoe tree took root before another fire burned everything to the ground. There are a few other works of art close by: someone decorated a shrub with COVID masks, and a wall is covered in graffiti. Apparently, there’s also a shoe fence out here, but we missed that one, creating a solid reason to return one day.

Rice Desert Signpost in California on Highway 62

This signpost out near Rice, easily identifiable as a signpost, features pointers to names, things, or places beyond my simple ability to comprehend just what they are pointing to.

Off Amboy Road in California

Out there, somewhere beyond the horizon, are unknown sights waiting to be seen by eyes that haven’t yet seen what lies in places they’ve never visited. While the road looks relatively well-traveled, it’s obviously not a thoroughfare, nor is it a boulevard or a destination that has the kind of pull that can illicit the common influencer to venture into its still hidden secrets.

Off Amboy Road in California

And then, around the corner, we are delivered into an abundance of more nothingness that is, in reality, a misnomer because anyone can easily see that everything is found here. The peculiar nature of people missing what could be perceived as a cruel joke because everything is within their minds. Desolation is a state of an empty mind that doesn’t allow the spoonfed person the usage of their imagination to understand that they are nearly always looking at the most immense beauty that contains all the gravity of life they will ever know but can’t quite understand. Would this space somehow gather more value if there were someone in an evocative pose and clothing? For the simple-minded, that is precisely what they require for a location to assume value; that is a tragedy larger than the breadth of this desert.

Amboy, California

There was a time in the golden age of travel, a time I’ve not personally lived through but of which I have some awareness thanks to older family members who shared stories about seeing the exotic sites out west along Route 66, some of the best experiences one might hope to capture. Likewise, for those from out west, going to New York City, Niagara Falls, or Florida could be the vacation of a lifetime. So here we are in Amboy, California, at Roy’s long-closed motel in the Mojave desert where probably everyone who passes by snaps a photo, and not one of us will ever get to eat at the cafe or stay the night without seeing our stop as a trophy having been collected. This begs the question, why should a side-of-the-road motel and cafe deserve this kind of recognition? It’s because we are nostalgic for normal stuff without understanding that in our age of conformity, where everything and everyone looks the same, these artifacts are hints of what’s been lost. Now consider that while these architectural relics are able to draw our attention, those capturing these moments can’t yet see their own ugly sameness as a part of the disappearance of anything we used to take for granted that was unique.

Kelbaker Road and the Mojave National Preserve in California

We are entering the Mojave National Preserve, where we are being requested in a humorous way to slow down. If ever there were people desiring to oblige a wish, this one speaks to our hearts. There was a time when we yearned to race into everything, which might be an artifact of evolution because if life is short, you’d better get all you can as quickly as can. Life spans are longer, yet people have less time for themselves as they divide their hours and days between jobs, getting to and from those jobs, consuming entertainment, and the consumption of things that are supposed to bring satisfaction while not offering any kind of purpose or growth. Distracted without intention or an idea that there could be a purpose aside from collecting, people race ahead to collect the trophy of participation.

Mojave National Preserve in California

Without intention backed by curiosity to evolve one’s knowledge, the desolation of purposelessness takes over the landscape, and other than a single objective, nothing is found about the world around them or the world within. That type of person may have ended up racing over sand dunes, shooting some targets, reaching a peak, or skiing down a mountain, but everything between the culmination of the end goal and being locked back in their cocoon is the toil of futility as they had to endure the boring parts. They don’t understand that there are no boring parts.

Kelso Depot in Kelso, California

In gazing at our past that no longer has a function apart from serving as a sad reminder that our present is absent of authenticity, we look through a prism of uncertainty, not recognizing that this empty space is reflecting the desolation of our minds. For about 80 years, the Kelso Depot served workers and travelers as a rest and refueling stop on a line that ran between Salt Lake City, Utah, and Los Angeles, California. Today, there’s no hint of their shadows, voices, or footsteps that carried them into a place in the middle of nowhere they needed to be, unlike current visitors who are trying to figure out what the attraction is of visiting something that once had a purpose and now only serves as a reminder of something from an era we hardly understand.

Kelbaker Road and the Mojave National Preserve in California

Soon, all recollection of who we were or are will be gone as we fade out of relevancy due to not wanting to know who we are. As a species, we held the potential to be more than the appearance of a thing; we had cognizance and a desire to adorn ourselves with the artifacts of crafts learned and mastered, from jewelry to music and words. Today, we purchase what others tell us will complete us; we borrow mannerisms and use pre-ordained colloquial jargon that demonstrates our membership in the club of cool hipster culture in order to buy instant influencer cred. That moment where we luxuriate in the pretentious, artificially contrived place known as Flash-in-the-Pan soon dumps everyone out at the end of the intersection of Uh-Oh and Oh-Shit. If we are fortunate, we rapidly adapt and jump into the vehicle of Remain-in-Childhood; otherwise, it’s off for a bumpy road trip down the Existential Crisis Highway.

World's Largest Thermometer in Baker, California

In the numbness of oblivion where desolation dwells, a chemically induced existence invites those who embrace banality to flutter about the light as they, on occasion, crash into the margin of awareness. For those determined to weather the heat of curiosity, we have few beacons to guide or warn us of impending collisions that may temporarily derail our ambition to go it alone. We are not here to pose for you; we are here to remind ourselves that when the opportunity arose for us to leave convenience and laziness behind, we accepted the challenge to witness our wandering across the space between, and if it were a flower, a ruin, or the world’s largest thermometer, we were on-hand to consider where it might fit in the encyclopedia of our experiences.

Salt Creek off Highway 127 south of Shoshone, California

It’s likely easier to understand that this water will flow into another stream or river and that it might end up in a lake or the ocean while understanding our own flow is a non-stop mystery of guesswork, or so it seems. We, too, are flowing, flowing into a life that will end up in a metaphorical ocean of all life that has been. If this feeds the life of what is yet to be, that is left beyond the horizon of my comprehension as I can only take the perspective of where I am from the place I’m at in the current of any given moment. What I do know is that I’m still in constant motion; I’ve not pulled up to the edge of the stream trying to delay where I’m going because stopping my travels would risk being absorbed by the thirsty desert, or I might simply evaporate. Either way, my journey will have ended prematurely and so I must keep going and going.

Salt Creek off Highway 127 south of Shoshone, California

If you thought you were going to read about desolation and our travels into nothingness, you must be the naive type of person who’s convinced themself that something like nothing is even possible. I’m not here to offer affirmation about your shortsighted delusions; you should stick to your couch/computer chair, where electronic media are the wildflowers that talk to your soul. We refuse to wallow in pity for the things we cannot see and do or can’t afford as we take off driving into the biggest adventures ever offered to humanity. Sure, one could point out the obvious that this is no Paris, Kilimanjaro, Everest, or Hawaii, but that would be silly because we went somewhere better; we traveled in love, looking for beauty found in everything we looked at.

Shoshone, California

It was 16 years ago when we first pulled into the Shoshone Inn just a few miles outside of Death Valley National Park, and since that time, we always make an effort to stay here. Are these luxury accommodations? Heck no, at least not to what others might think, but for the two of us, this is the height of luxury. First of all, it’s about half the price of a room in the park. Secondly, the Crowbar Cafe & Saloon is across the street, and although they don’t open until 8:00 in the morning, they are open until 9:00 p.m., so no matter what time we leave the park, the Crowbar is going to be cooking our dinner. But this doesn’t touch on the most important aspect of staying here, and that’s the soaking pool nearby. You see, this pool is no ordinary resort pool. It is a concrete enclosure fed by a nearby hot spring with water in a temperature range of 100°F to 104°F (38°C to 40°C) year-round.

Shoshone, California

Do not look for gourmet food at the Crowbar, but then again, who’d ever think a place with this name would feature that type of cuisine? We are not into this for a culinary experience; for those desiring that experience, check out The Inn in Death Valley, where you can dine on a $150-a-person meal before retiring to your $400-a-night room. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we want something more, considering the harsh nature of the place we are visiting.

Shoshone Hot Spring near Death Valley, California

After our patty melts made of rusty nails and lizard cheese, we headed up the dark, dark road to the hot spring pool where the acidic waters flowing out of Death Valley scoured four layers of skin off our aging bodies, making us look 11.5 years younger. About these waters, one should consider that they are likely remnants of ancient lakes fed by the intermittent Amargosa River that once flowed into Lake Manley in Death Valley and Lake Tacopa near Shoshone before seeping into nearby aquifers. The research that has me writing this inspires thoughts of a quick return to the area again this year to trace the flow of the Amargosa near Beatty while trying to piece together the history of this part of Death Valley. Time to crawl into our bed made of plywood and snuggle up under the World War II-era wool blanket, as we call it a night of roughing it here in the desolation of absolutely nowhere.

Wildflowers in the Eyes and Mind

HAGFISH License Plate in Phoenix, Arizona

Not even a full week has passed yet before I bring up this post sans words to start writing something about our day trip that took us out for a gaze upon wildflowers, and I’m stymied by an empty head. I can vaguely remember that last Sunday (the day this trip happened), I settled into our adventure, thinking I’d dedicate this missive to love. In the interim, I finished editing and embellishing the posts of the days when we were out in Duncan, though some might believe that by Sunday of that trip, I was half out of my head (you’d have to read it to understand). Aside from my musings on optics and refections, I was knee-deep in all things AGI (Artificial General Intelligence) because isn’t that where everyone is at these days? But that won’t get this post written, will it?

Our new license plate has shown up, and we couldn’t be happier letting everyone who sees us driving down the road know that we are lovers of the HAGFISH. Not that we’ve named our car HAGFISH, it’s a nod to an incredible creature of the deep sea we encountered last year at the Monterey Bay Aquarium up in California.

Citrus blooms in Phoenix, Arizona

Before we got on the road and headed southeast, Caroline and I went on a walk through our neighborhood, and, as we are apt to do at this time of year, we took pause to intoxicate ourselves on the citrus blossoms that scent the air here in the desert. With that in mind, I asked ChatGPT to write something in the style of Marcel Proust about two people enchanted by this scene. Here’s what it produced, including minor edits:

As the first dawn of spring caressed the Arizona desert, the sun’s gentle rays illuminated the sky with a delicate touch, as if the heavens themselves were embroidering a tapestry of celestial hues. It was at this ethereal hour that the citrus trees, having patiently awaited the arrival of the season, unfurled their blossoms in an exquisite symphony of fragrance. A scent so potent and pure, it seemed to emanate from the very soul of the earth, whispering its tender secrets to the heavens.

In the midst of this olfactory paradise, two souls, intertwined by the invisible thread of destiny, embarked upon a journey of discovery. Their hearts, once lost in the labyrinth of solitude, had found solace in each other’s presence, and the pulsating rhythm of their love resonated in perfect harmony with the blossoming symphony.

Continuing down the promenade, the subtle symphony of the citrus blossoms enveloped them in a fragrant embrace, imparting to them a sense of serenity that permeated the very core of their beings. The intensity of the scent, interwoven with the delicate notes of the morning air, evoked within them a longing, a yearning for the ineffable, for the eternal essence of beauty that lay hidden in the fleeting moments of their earthly existence.

Wildflowers in Queen Valley, Arizona

Great, now I have to go into this act of writing while comparing myself to a machine that attempted to channel Proust; where do I start? I know, I’ll just make it worse by asking my friendly neighborhood AI for help:

Beneath the welcome Arizona sun, John found himself locked in a fierce struggle to convey the enchanting beauty of the desert’s wildflowers in words. A once-confident writer, he now faced an unexpected rival—ChatGPT, the AI-driven wordsmith who seemingly spins prose effortlessly. As the desert around him burst into a vibrant tapestry of color, John’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, his mind grasping at fading memories of inspiration. He yearned to capture the splendor of the blooming lupines and fiery red Indian paintbrushes that danced in the warm breeze. The fragrant air, laden with the scent of desert marigolds, weighed heavily on him as he toiled away, desperate to prove his worth. Yet, even as he wrestled with his own creativity, John couldn’t shake the gnawing doubt that lingered at the edges of his thoughts—a subtle reminder of the relentless, ever-evolving prowess of ChatGPT.

Wildflowers in Queen Valley, Arizona

There’s one silver lining in this: I asked both Stable Diffusion and Dall-E to create a wildflower scene in the desert using saguaro and cholla cacti under a blue sky with mountains in the background and that at least I can still do better, but for how much longer?

Wildflowers in Queen Valley, Arizona

The writing is on the wall, or should I say the pollen is on the flower, as I recognize the insidious nature of AI pulling me into exploring their capability but simultaneously having them distract me from trying to follow what’s in my own mind. Tragically, this post is not the one where I should be having this discussion because when Caroline and I were out there in the beauty of it all, artificial intelligence was the furthest thing away from our thoughts. We smiled at each other and probably at more than a few flowers that couldn’t smile back.

Wildflowers in Queen Valley, Arizona

Desert chicory is the type of flower you are seeing here, while above it in yellow are brittlebush flowers, and further up, the purple flowers are desert lupines.

Wildflowers in Queen Valley, Arizona

I’d like to point out that we are somewhere in Arizona we’ve never visited before Queen Valley, Arizona. We’ve passed the turn-off just north of Highway 60 countless times and always failed to investigate what’s up the road: A small retirement community based around a golf course appears to be why it’s out here, but with a heavy conservative vibe to the place, we ain’t asking no questions.

Picketpost Mountain in Superior, Arizona

Recently, I posted another photo of Picketpost Mountain looking at its north face, but today’s view arrives courtesy of its eastern flank. Our path is taking us south on Highway 177 as our search for yet more wildflowers is still underway.

Wildflowers off Highway 177 in Arizona

It didn’t take long before we were pulling over to investigate new hues only to wonder, what are these?

Wildflowers off Highway 177 in Arizona

These are known as Globe Mallows, which, from a distance, had me thinking we were seeing the famous California poppy.

Ray Mine on Highway 177 in Arizona

Yes, it’s a giant scar on the earth, but Ray Mine near Kearney, Arizona, is one of the largest producers of copper, and without copper, we wouldn’t have a lot of things, such as ChatGPT, that compete with us humans and steals our ability to write stories without considering its potential influence of opinion, style, and inspiration.

Caroline Wise and Wildflowers off Highway 177 in Arizona

This is the Blooming Lovely Nerdoleen flower native to Germany, playing an invasive role by invading our desert and my heart. Everywhere I go, I seem to see this beauty growing wild, but at least it’s always smiling at me.

Hayden, Arizona

Some years ago, I was working on a virtual reality project, and my observation of the world tended to channel the beauty of all things and the potential of finding their way into synthetic universes where humans could relish the hyper-condensation of these sights. Virtual reality held the promise of bringing the average person into the purview of things they couldn’t easily or inexpensively reach in real life, just as trains held a similar thought starting around 200 years ago. Now, I see that humanity is not yet ready for this metaverse because it’s about to have to contend with the sonic catapult that will aloft expectations of complexity far beyond the simple musings of a society enchanted with quaint banalities. I don’t mean to imply that heading into nature will be supplanted by a super knowledge that will render our immediate world irrelevant, but we may find ourselves asking why this route isn’t offered to people lingering on bicycles, scooters, or foot as we take our time to learn about the cactus, flowers, minerals, history, and life out here that was missed when we sped by in our cars in a hurry to be elsewhere.

Winkelman, Arizona

Why hasn’t this old gas station and convenience store been turned into a transportation recharging station, WIFI hotspot, and coffee shop where those on e-bikes, scooters, and feet can congregate to write, paint, talk, or choose to spend a night as they continue their journey into exploring time? What I mean to say is that virtual reality will have to wait until we decide what the value of our own reality is when it’s been largely unexplored, and the majority of our experiences have arrived via electronic media created by a tiny part of our population. What is the song of the Arizona desert on an early day in late March or the poetry of the place? What was gathered by those who spent the night under the stars just up the road in a primitive camp?

Highway 77 in Arizona

Caroline and I have been fortunate to likely be out here and deep into our world far more than the majority of people who live in the United States, and we are well aware that not everyone can spend 60 to 90 days a year looking for a brittlebush growing out of a rock face among the myriad of other sights we enjoy.

Highway 77 in Arizona

There are no fewer than 50 saguaro cacti in this photo looking down upon the two people who decided the scene was too beautiful to just drive past. What if we were never to see something like this again? Well then, at least once in our lives, we took that time to witness this particular configuration with a carpet of yellow wildflowers at their feet. I don’t mean to anthropomorphize these cacti, suggesting that they are looking down upon us or have feet, but I do respect these plants, which were here well before I was born and will likely be here long after I die, considering that they live for between 200 and 300 years.

Miami, Arizona

After seeing all the flowers in the desert that could be seen in one outing, we’d developed a hunger that only Guayo’s El Rey Mexican Restaurant in Miami, Arizona, could satisfy. And this being Sunday, we heeded the advice from a previous visit and called ahead to request a portion of the coveted carne asada I so passionately love be set to the side for our afternoon arrival. I am now in record territory: this is my third visit in under two weeks, a landmark achievement not likely to be beaten any time soon. With lunch out of the way, we needed to get some walking in, and so our path took us deeper into Miami.

Miami, Arizona

Like so many old mining towns in Arizona, the state of buildings is a mixed bag of totally dilapidated and abandoned and somewhat dilapidated and lived in, somehow. Even the ones I think are abandoned, I’m often reluctant to enter as you never really know when someone has taken up living in the decay. So, we just walk around listening to the various dogs barking at us (hoping they are tied up or fenced), talking to chickens, and when I’m certain that an old place is truly deserted, I’ll poke my nose in, hoping to spy something that catches my eye.

Miami, Arizona

Over the years, there seem to be fits and spurts of activity in Miami, which hint of revitalization efforts that might be taking hold, and just as quickly, those efforts appear to fall to the wayside. One way to kickstart America’s rebuilding of small towns would be to implement a universal basic income (UBI), and with everyone’s jobs disappearing due to the approaching all-powerful AI, this is the time to start making those plans.

Miami, Arizona

These are the Keystone Stairs, all 155 of them that we’ll climb.

Miami, Arizona

And this is the payoff for trudging up that hill on stairs first laid down about 100 years ago.

Miami Art Works in Miami, Arizona

On our way back to the old main street, in this case, Sullivan Street, Caroline was dipping in and out of the various shops that are open on a Sunday, much to our surprise. One of those places was the Miami Art Works Gallery. being held down today by Amanda. During the course of our visit, we also met Lob, who is now a local artist with a colorful background but to learn more, you should just stop in and say hi.

Miami Art Works in Miami, Arizona

Quite a bit of the exhibition space is currently full of the art of Bruce Boyd, who lives over in Mesa. I’d share more about the guy, but there’s nothing else I could find, other than he does have an Etsy account.

Sunset on Highway 60 in Mesa, Arizona

And that was our day in the American Southwest among the flowers, decay, nostalgia, the future, hopes, beauty, and reality of a country that might be letting dreams slide into nightmares.

Things Went Slowly

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

It’s Sunday, and we all know what that means. No, we will not be going to church, though last night, the conversation at dinner did turn to Radical Amishism it was probably more in the sense of a fashion statement than a set of principles and doctrines to live by. Oh yeah, back to Sunday. It is the end of the weekend, and we’ll be returning home today after our ever-so-brief pause out here in the ever-shrinking town of Duncan, Arizona. Before I get too far ahead of myself or gather too much distance to my obtuse reference regarding Radical Amishism, Clayton, seeing the book I’m reading, thought he’d read the title correctly until, on second glance, he saw that it is Radical Animism.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

If it were 40 years earlier and I understood back then that I didn’t require institutional validation to allow me to write, today I just might be the author of Radical Amishism because, after a quick glance into my imagination and a minor amount of consideration, I’d be down with it. I’d have picked up where Edward Abbey left off with Desert Solitaire, taking some of his ideas into the eastern farmlands of the United States where a radical band of Amish farmers becomes psilocybin mushroom growers, working with Humphry Osmond to change the toxic psychological profile of America following the harmful influence of Ayn Rand and her brand of success regardless of cost. But this is a silly exercise that will go nowhere as my flight of fancy is nothing more than a tactic to distract myself from having to write about why I like the light fixtures in the hallway of the hotel against an antique ceiling.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Had I invested a bit more in that machination, maybe I’d have had enough material to cascade past the previous photo to fall under this photo of the coatrack, which stands in the corner of the Library Room we have occupied. The truth is that there is nothing of real interest in capturing this other than there were qualities of light I was enjoying and a hint of an idea that the small details in the room that are not defining attributes of the place might allow granular memories of our time here that couldn’t be had with a greater overview captured in a previous visit.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Soon, a gourmet refection will be presented that will inch us closer to the conclusion of our time of intentional languishing where we were someplace other than home. While we’ll be leaving at some point after noon, our state of mind of being elsewhere will continue as the abundance of wildflowers we’d seen on the drive out will have us gawking along the way to capture yet more memories of the rare occasions when their bursts of color carpets the landscape.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Not only do the enticing aromas of our evolving meal waft from the kitchen so do the sounds of Piano Sonata No. 3 in B Minor from Chopin as it keeps time with the old clock ticking off the seconds of the day here in the parlor. That clock just might be part of the allure, but so might the concerted effort to romanticize the simultaneous simplicity and sophistication of our moments spent among the ghosts of another time.

Let us return to this idea of a refection. You might have been wondering if I’d found this word in the thesaurus, and that is exactly where it came from. I originally wrote “repast,” but on my third reading, it felt a bit too archaic, and I didn’t want to use “meal” for the sixth time in this post. Looking for an alternative, I came across this word that was new to me. The dictionary defines refection as a refreshment by food or drink, but wait, there’s more. In zoology, this word describes partly digested fecal pellets. As one not familiar with such an idea, ChatGPT came to the rescue to inform its humans that:

Partially digested fecal pellets are usually found in animals that have a digestive system that requires them to eat their feces. For example, rabbits eat their feces as it is an important part of the digestive process. Rabbits’ digestive systems can’t extract all the nutrients from food the first time it is digested. During the digestion process, soft pellets called cecotropes are formed. Termites are another example of animals that produce fecal pellets. 

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Can you guess where this goes next? My follow-up book to the 1983 bestseller Radical Amishism was Refection Recipes of the Radical Amish Psychedelic Pioneers. Who hasn’t thought while tripping on shrooms that eating one’s own partly-digested fecal pellets might kick a second time? As someone who doesn’t exactly relish the idea of eating poop, a cookbook was in order.

Now, before you go thinking, this is gross, John, I agree, but this is Sunday, and I swear that some of this is a product of automatic writing influenced by this painting of Santo Niño de Atocha. Yep, that’s exactly how this got here.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

The cat is calling bullshit; you can see it in his stare.

The sun has been pouring in on us through the two large picture windows while Chef Clayton continues to busy himself in the kitchen. Intermittently, he pops over, mumbling something about Ezekiel the Radical Amish Clown as Caroline fends off Fabio the Cat with the whole commotion disturbing my reading of Jack Mendelsohn’s Being Liberal in an Illiberal Age: Why I Am a Unitarian Universalist.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Is anyone here in need of a baptism? John 03:19 is on hand for administering the sacrament of admission to the Radical Amish Church today. Please don’t confuse this reference to today’s date with the biblical quote of John 3:19, which states, “God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.” From the 1991 manga version of the Radical Amish Bible page 126, the thought bubble as spoken by Santo Niño de Atocha read, “John’s light was murky, but people loved the murk as it reminded them of feasting on their refection.”

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

General Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana Huevos Rancheros, a.k.a. a Gentleman’s Huevos, have been brought to the table, and to call this concoction exquisite wouldn’t adequately share the delight that was had. I recognize that this indulgence reflects my own lack of culinary acumen as, comparatively, I am making food for rabbits and termites that fatten us but fail to alight the soul. Our meal was taken to the sounds of Alicia de Larrocha’s Granado, and as it faded, our morning ritual approached an end, too.

Our conversation moves from the table to the kitchen as we discuss the art found in the ritual of preparing a meal. In a sad moment of self-awareness, I must admit that my ideas of intentionality pale in comparison to someone who exercises his will to affect and deliver a quality of life that far surpasses my own feeble attempts. Maybe I can learn a thing or two about the life of the gentlemen by taking on Clayton’s reference to Baldesar Castiglione’s Book of the Courtier. It was while speaking of Castiglione that our host shared this wonderful paraphrasing, “The definition of a gentleman is someone who derives no pleasure from seeing another creature suffer,”

My encounters with people of expansive minds remind me of just how small my own is, and yet, on many occasions, I’m well aware that I’m among other people with smaller minds than my own. While I’m not ashamed of how accidentally my life unfolds, I know that there has been much intentionality that has propelled Caroline and me into the myriad of adventures and experiences we’ve been so fortunate to encounter. It’s a good day when I see that there is still ample room for me to redouble my efforts. This has me wondering how those who never encounter others who could mentor them by exemplifying the more refined aspects of life have been so effective in allowing their languishing souls to disguise just how unrefined and vulgar they are. It is one thing to be born a Neanderthal but another to die as one without ever becoming aware of the knuckle-dragging existence we exhibited while wearing our best troglodytic personas.

Duncan, Arizona

Time to leave the peaceful air of the Simpson and venture into the blustering force of brisk wind where the sun might wash self-doubt from these burdened shoulders. Mind you, I’m well aware that life is good, and I’m genuinely encouraged that there always seems to be room for improvement. Walking is a good place to return to for the clearing of the mind and resolving some of the ambiguity, so out we go.

Duncan, Arizona

Tragically, my walking around town observing things suggests that maybe I’m on the verge of being cast off as junk like so many of these discarded artifacts that no longer hold utility. Well, in that case, I suppose that at least until nature reclaims those things that provoked these musings, my hulking form will have to strive harder to leave enough remnants on the intellectual landscape for people to walk by and maybe wonder what the mind of John did in the utility of others before his abandonment of life.

Duncan, Arizona

This old rusting school bus no longer brings children to school; its value is lost. Then again, when was the last time the name of Ibn al-Haytham and his seminal book Kitab al-Manazir came up regarding the discussion of light and vision? Even a contemporary great such as Professor Thomas G. Brown at the University of Rochester is not a name that falls from the tip of our tongues, and yet his work on cylindrical vector beams is undeniably important to our modern way of life. Just the other day, I was discussing with Caroline the metrology of photonic integrated circuits with an emphasis on measuring the in-situ polarization state within a silicon nitride waveguide, which is currently Professor Brown’s major area of interest when we realized that we cannot even count one other person we know interested in such subjects. What does this have to do with school buses cast off on the junk heap of former utility? Maybe nothing other than an idea that asks if it’s possible that all knowledge, pioneers, thinkers, artists, and musicians are ultimately nothing more than a bunch of junk nobody cares about if it doesn’t lend itself to immediate gratification led by foolish hedonism?

Duncan, Arizona

But what is this? A broken-down soda dispenser? Yes and no, you see in this image is the data of what it is, or was. At some point, its data will be eaten by Artificial Intelligence, and as pockets of our population fall into a dark age, the electronic brain will remember and understand what we are losing. Just consider that with the fall of Rome in the 5th century, the recipe for how they made such durable concrete was lost for the next 1,300 years; what are we on the verge of losing?

Take my example regarding Ibn al-Haytham and Professor Brown. It was in the 13th century, a little more than 150 years after Kitab al-Manazir (Book of Optics) was written, when Roger Bacon was inspired by this work to study optics and eyeballs, leading him to describe lenses that would correct our vision and create telescopes along with inventing the magnifying glass. About four-hundred fifty years later, Johannes Kepler, Isaac Newton, and Galileo Galilei would also find the work of Ibn al-Haytham instrumental to their discoveries. But what about Professor Brown’s relationship to all of this? There’s a likelihood that either his research or that of those he’s influenced is going to be integrated into optical computing, which is the future of that field. I used ChatGPT to explore these connections, and at some point, its algorithms will utilize over 1,000 years of research and development in optics to intuitively understand these connections in ways only those with very specialized knowledge can grasp. Meanwhile, we humans walk around obliviously looking at rusting junk and other trash, probably on the way to no longer having any value either.

Duncan, Arizona

None of us use payphones anymore; when will we forsake books, computers, and even conversations required for the exploration of knowledge? I grew up in an age where knowledge was secondary to the acquisition of stuff that embodied the American dream. Today, generations are growing up with nearly no idea at all of what role knowledge might play in their lives. They are uncertain about careers, financial opportunities, or having children. Our ambition to excel has been replaced with the ambiguity of not being able to figure out the nonsense, violence, and incoherence emanating out of previous generations, afraid of a future where thinking people might abandon accepted conventions of conformity that served a ruling elite.

Duncan, Arizona

Speaking of elites, the Charismatics were out in force this Sunday, though you wouldn’t have known it if you were listening for their shrieks. Only the mass of their cars indicated that they were congregating in the church/shed. While we were tempted to poke our heads in to watch and listen to them speaking in hands and laying on tongues, our wild imaginations suggested they would recognize us as outsider infidels and chase us with snakes to banish our evil presence. Our flight of fancy was probably far more entertaining than the creepy reality we’d have likely found in the First Baptist Church of Duncan. This photo is just an old house for sale, not the den of those “slain in the Spirit.”

Back at the Simpson, the clock is somehow off, showing us a time between. Just how long we had been out and wallowing in the destitution that is Duncan becomes the passage of unknowns. There is an inescapable sense of what was once out this way when people had hope and dreams but has been stolen by the relentless force of time going forward. Fleeting glimpses of renewed aspirations can be seen here and there, but something just as quickly began erasing those efforts. Futility creeps into the fool who believes that America can be renewed. The edges and outposts decay on a margin where the casual observer moving by in their car might hardly notice the scale of what is collapsing.

Huipile at Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

The coherence of cloth impacts its utility. If, through defect or wear, the assemblage begins to fall apart, someone must mend the fabric, or the original intention of its creation will be lost, and the article can be disposed of or recycled. The coherence of people in relationship to the potential of available knowledge has traditionally been woven into a tapestry of greater meaning and utility, but at this juncture, we are coming apart at the seams and apparently have no one able to mend the decaying fabric of what we could be.

It is obvious to me that humanity requires the genius of the weavers and seamstresses of the past to design a new kind of cloth that better lays bare the arrogance of our stupidity. We’ve been using masks and cloaks in the form of accumulated things to hide the state of intellectual nakedness instead of facing the damage we inflict not only on our planet but upon one another, too. Just as we are evolving an artificial knowledge that will exceed everything that came before it, we are relinquishing our very humanity in support of unsustainable dreams that are grotesque folly.

Is Nothing Even Possible?

Duncan, Arizona

We slept in this morning, not waking until 6:15. In the still quiet moments of the morning, we slunk out the front door for a walk to the Gila River on the other side of the railroad tracks. While we’ll walk with the romantic notion of catching sight or sound of a distant sandhill crane, we know that by this time in March, that’s a silly idea, but romance is full of silly thoughts.

Duncan, Arizona

Aside from a few small, mostly unseen birds and the occasional lumbering semi-truck hauling copper plates from a nearby mining operation, adding their noise to the dawn, we seem to be in the world by ourselves. That is until we reach a spot where an excited dog or two lets us know that they, too, are awake and aware.

Duncan, Arizona

It wasn’t our goal to actually see much or even be anywhere, but we needed to get some walking in, even as the cold of eastern Arizona worked furiously to turn us around. Good thing we have at least some small modicum of fortitude and don’t opt for grabbing a siesta at every opportunity, especially when the power of suggestion found in this mural is speaking so loudly.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Back at the Simpson, a friendly voice from the kitchen welcomed us with the good news that coffee was close to being served. With coffee about to flow, breakfast couldn’t be far behind, while previous experience says the exquisiteness of culinary finery on offer wasn’t going to disappoint.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Chef Clayton delivered a homemade concoction of warm coffee cake swathed in a unique cream sauce topped with berries before bringing us a cheesy frittata with spinach and marinated peppers encircled by vegetarian turkey sausage with sweet roasted zucchini and onions. Maybe breakfast here becomes spectacular precisely because it is vegetarian, which forces expectations to be tossed aside as the familiar old staples just won’t work. Of the half-dozen or so meals we’ve been offered at the Simpson, each has been truly inspired and delightful, arriving at the table with a burst of surprise to become a part of the allure of being way out here.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

At this point of post-feast, time slows to a crawl. Off in the distance, a nap beckons, but we are pros at remaining awake while offering the appearance of doing nearly nothing. The truth is that we didn’t, in fact, suspend time. Caroline spent some of those moments translating a text about tablet weaving for a friend in Germany, and I wandered about the rustic kitchen, followed by a trip to the rear of the hotel looking to find where my next words would come from so I could get to writing.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Writing, though, doesn’t always arrive just because it is sought after. Looking outward to inspire something inward is really just a wish to avoid sitting down to confront an empty head that is seeking this downtime. Hours passed, along with some rain that came and went. The whipping branches seen through a window are warning us that should we venture out, which is exactly what we must do if we are to eat lunch, we will encounter a blustery wind that could also be carrying a chill. No matter, we are brave when we must be.

Caroline Wise at Country Chic in Duncan, Arizona

Something funny happened on the way to The Ranch House restaurant. A small shop called Country Chic was open, and Caroline apparently was in a shopping mood because we didn’t leave empty-handed. The only reason this was funny is that, while Caroline can always be counted on for wanting to dip into far-and-away shops, it’s a rare day that she buys anything. But this won’t be the only visit to a local store as Clayton recommended a place dripping with a character reminiscent of a different age that we should go to before it no longer exists.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Germaine’s Emporium is that place and with equal parts antiques, junk, and dust, we stepped back in time.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

This and the next image brought me right back to my landing in Germany in the mid-80s when the military was still celebrating that Elvis Presley had once been stationed over there. Germany, for that matter, was proud of this distinction.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Somebody out here or multiple people served in the military during the Cold War with an assignment in Europe. These tiles were a popular souvenir for soldiers, along with shot glasses, small plates with similar designs, cuckoo clocks, and World War II memorabilia; I expect to find all of the above here.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Actually, finding stuff here might require a larger investment in time as there are likely tens of thousands of items distributed far and wide among the shelves, rafters, and corners.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

There was something John and Caroline’ish about this that demanded the photo and inclusion in this post today.

Caroline Wise at Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

While she’s graduated to Queen status, you get the point.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

And here we are at the World War II memorabilia corner in this shopping mall of antiques; sadly, I can’t find where in my busy life I’d make good use of wearing an old Nazi hat with the ever-iconic SS Totenkopf (Death’s head), and so I’ll have to leave it where it is along with the StG44 rifle that I’m sure is great to carry with me to my local Starbucks or favorite Mexican restaurant but with all my writing and photography chores how would I find the time for that kind of mayhem?

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Germaine’s certainly smacks of authenticity as it’s not the kind of spic n’ span kind of antique shop that is meant to appeal to your average clean freak looking for things that might lend authenticity to their fake expensive home. These trinkets and effects are imbued with the ghosts of those who left simple lives behind and their families didn’t know what to do with the junk. I’m sure there are interesting collectibles for others here, but most of the stuff feels like sadness and tragedy to me.

As for the rest of the day, there’s but a blur of conversation, cats, food, smiles, writing, and sewing images floating in an ephemeral cloud of indistinct memories that will be allowed to drift away.

Leaving The Sun Behind

On Highway 70 in Eastern Arizona

With our recent rains, an abundance of wildflowers is starting to bloom across the landscape, but our tight schedule won’t allow us the opportunity to stop and smell those mostly scentless blossoms. A few days ago, I wrote that we’d be heading east, and that’s just what we are doing on this road that will bring us back to Duncan, Arizona. Once we arrive out there, we’ll be just a few miles from New Mexico. Prior to that, but not quite at the halfway point of our journey, we’ll make what is now an obligatory stop in Miami at Guayo’s El Rey Mexican restaurant. Yeah, I know it was only three days ago I was there, and yet again, I’ll be dining on carne asada as they have perfected this dish. I’ve already called ahead to ensure I wouldn’t be stopping, only to find disappointment. Had they been sold out, the plan was to stop at La Paloma Mexican restaurant in Solomon, Arizona, but it turns out that later, we’d have been foiled as they closed forever back on Valentine’s Day.

Prior to this highly anticipated dinner with the sun still offering us ample light, Caroline continued making progress in The Muqaddimah: An Introduction to History by 14th-century scholar Ibn Khaldûn. The book is a bit dry at times, dated too, but then we consider that this was written in the 14th century when Europe was just starting to emerge from the Dark Ages that had lasted since the fall of Rome. It’s important to note that Europe only reawakened for the Renaissance following the revival of Humanism, meaning classical learning. Hey America, how long will you lie fallow, allowing your intellectual druthers to rot on the vine? Anyway, the book goes on, and our surprise continues as the parallels with modernity appear prescient.

On Highway 70 in Eastern Arizona

Quickly shifting roadside hues of reds, oranges, purples, and yellows with nearly similar tones skyward were drawing our eyes to these bursts of color instead of the road ahead. Fortunately for us, our new car has adaptive cruise control, stay-in-lane technology, and some other features that allow the indulgence of gazing at the beauty that will only be part of the Arizona desert for brief moments before disappearing for the evening.

While only a weekend getaway, this is still a vacation for us, and while in this mode, we can easily allow ourselves to fall into full indulgence. An hour past Miami, we will be arriving in Pima, Arizona, along with seemingly everyone else from the area showing up at Taylor Freeze for a St. Patrick’s Day celebratory ice cream. A shared malted chocolate shake warmed our souls as it’s a rare day that we stop for such a treat.

On Highway 70 in Eastern Arizona

Our arrival at Chateau Simpson is heralded with fanfare by the village folk celebrating in drunken revelry to Honky Tonk Badonkadonk in the streets of Duncan. Others might say that this was merely their way of commemorating St. Patrick’s Day, but I’m taking it as a sign that they knew we were coming and pulled out all the stops.

Clearing the crowd, renowned artist Don Carlos cut a path so we might sooner take refuge in the chateau, greeting us with a hearty welcome as though he were opening his home to King Kaka Fuego and his bride Ninnyhammer instead of the humble guests we are. The Old Library Room would be our sanctuary for the duration, and we were assured that we’d be the only other guests, along with a couple of treasure-hunting geologists attempting to appear inconspicuous, but anyone with an iota of worldly experience could see the adventure they were on: they were here to grab the gold and run.

Prior to taking up our familiar places in the parlor for hot tea and even hotter conversation, we would need to pay our respects to Dimitri, Malaki, Angelina, Fabio, and Molly, who would parade by offering us claws, seductive feline purrs, and feigning aloofness implying their lack of interest, though we all know that cats require attention on their terms and will get it. With the formalities out of the way, we could get down to talking psychedelics, Proust, Tacitus, Bergson, and Death by Bunga.

That’s kind of how things went prior to laying our heads down to sleep for the first night of our weekend away.

Not As Planned

Miami, Arizona

Sure, I might have just gotten home a few days ago but if a friend needs a getaway, I can be the person to accommodate that. And this time that friend was Brinn who started his career as a nurse months ago and has been working hard without a chance for a quick overnight getaway. We finalized our plans last night, and then this morning I talked with Clayton over at the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona, to find out that he could have a couple of rooms made up for us. Well then, nothing more to do than wait for Brinn to finish dealing with another commitment before he could meet me for us to get on the road.

Miami, Arizona

Perfect timing, we are pulling into Miami for, you guessed it, Guayo’s El Rey Mexican restaurant for our favorite carne asada ever. Charbroiled beef smothered in green chili and cheese from this place never fails to satisfy, unless they are sold out as they were when Caroline and I passed through here nearly a couple of months ago. If I were a smart man I’d leave out these references to my food obsessions, but like all things, either they will go away or I will and then all that will be left are these notes about either or both. It’s just like this long abandoned Motel Villa at 1640 Cherry Avenue and Highway 60 in Miami that I can’t find a lick of information about. Maybe if a traveler back in the days when their sign lit up along the highway into Phoenix had taken a moment to document their journey, photographed the sign when it shone brightly and shared their experience staying at Motel Villa, I’d be able to walk in their memories.

There are many abandoned properties to be found in Miami. While I ultimately learned from a real estate site that Motel Villa was built in 1951, that will never satisfy my curiosity about the rest of the town which has an incredible visual appeal to my searching eyes. The journey to learn about this one property did inspire me to consider revisiting these places such as Miami, Winkelman, Kearny, Clifton, Duncan, and so many others that are fading off the map, to capture what does remain in order to provide at least a visual reference for others that might be on a similar quest in the future to find out what they can about this part of our disappearing history.

Picketpost Mountain in Superior, Arizona

If you knew the geography of this part of Arizona you’d know that Picketpost Mountain should not be showing up at this point in my post. You see, we are now traveling west having just passed through Superior which is east of Miami. Why might we have turned around? Because relationships are complicated. This isn’t a reference to Brinn and me, suffice it to say he needed to give his attention to something more important than being out of town.

View east from across the Picketpost Mountain in Superior, Arizona

No matter though, Caroline will be thrilled that I’m going to be home tonight and we were able to have lunch at what should be the world-famous Guayo’s El Rey. The idea of staying out at the Simpson Hotel will also inspire Caroline and me to book a couple of nights this coming weekend so there’s that win too. Finally, this was a beautiful day for a drive with the first signs of wildflowers looking to explode on the landscape promising a colorful trip across the desert in the coming days.