We couldn’t afford a steed, so we took this old dirty Beetle and made our way west.

There was no sunset to ride into, so we followed the gray skies, hoping they’d deliver us to paradise.

Then, we found the first big city out on the California frontier. It was paradise to us.

She was reluctant at first to marry me, but with the handcuffs on and me ready to put a slug in her gut, she agreed, and soon we were wed.

We moved into our new house not too far from the ocean; we had a good life. Soon Caroline was pregnant, and I was the happy father of four boys and twin girls. Sure, living with eight of us in a small one-room stone hut wasn’t easy, but it’s what we had, and we weren’t ones to complain.

As we aged in the California desert, I took up the job of town preacher and undertaker; Caroline helped make folks look good before we put them in the ground.

The sunny days went by until there were none left, and a new undertaker planted us, but our time out west was fruitful, and our children will be there to carry on our legacy and celebrate our memory.