Spontaneity is often a rare thing and with the idea that Brinn would visit me while in San Diego, I didn’t think he’d really show up. We “joked” about him driving out the day before but he said it would be better to leave in the morning. Sure enough, he wrote to me earlier today that he’d be in around 12:30 and it was only shortly after that when he walked into Starbucks here next to the freeway in Solana Beach.

We took off for lunch down to Gen Korean BBQ and got stuffed on $25 a person all-you-can-eat cook-at-your-own table Korean food. We leaned heavily on the pork side of the menu before agreeing on a nice long walk to help settle the stuffing. So back up the coast to Solana Beach, we drove to walk the dog before walking ourselves. After a mile-long walk with Drake, we headed over to the beach down the road from where I’m staying and walked another three miles.

You might guess that after this we made our way back over to the coffee shop to continue the conversation. Stoicism has been on Brinn’s mind lately as he brought up Marcus Aurelius at our last meeting in Phoenix and again today the subject comes up. For those of you who don’t know, stoicism is the endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint. At only 32 years of age Brinn has known his share of hardship, pain, and suffering, often with some of it being self-inflicted, after being brought up to endure it. In this sense, we might be considered opposites as I have worked towards stopping the internal self-immolation as I’ve tried to find a balance of enduring the pain shared by a society bent on exploring their greatest stupidities and my need to exit life as gracefully and happy as possible.

While sitting in the shade a security guard making his rounds came by and we said hello. Turns out he’s a former Marine and at that moment it was strange to think that the three of us are all veterans of the American Military. While Brinn is nearly constantly aware of his status in part because he works for the Veterans Administration in Phoenix, I mostly have forgotten that part of my life as I wanted to actively distance myself from the radical conditioning that is undergone when one becomes a soldier. Jonathan the security guard was an affable guy who spent about 45 minutes chatting with us. He only left active duty about 2 years ago after 11 years of service and it is still obvious what his background was.

Wow, is it dinner time already? No, we did not start with dessert, we dropped in on some random Chinese noodle shop and split a few dishes. Around the corner, we visited Somi Somi where a few days before I made my first visit, but opted for the relatively boring vanilla flavor with custard. Tonight I went with the Ube and Taro with Fruity Pebbles and didn’t regret it. Yes I did regret it, I have diabetes and this was kind of stupid but I did walk nearly 17,000 steps today so hopefully, I counteracted the ugly effect of sugar on my body chemistry.

By 10:00 p.m. I brought Brinn back to his car and his short adventure to San Diego came to an end as he pointed the car eastward and off he drove into the night. Later I learned he got home safely at 3:30 in the morning but I guess even if it had been a slog and he was tired along the way, his stoicism wouldn’t have allowed him to lament the struggle to stay awake under the starry sky out in the middle of nowhere.