Old Birds

Caroline Wise spinning fiber to make yarn in Phoenix, Arizona

There’s a sense of delight when you look at the person you fell in love with so many years ago and take a moment to realize how deeply you are still enamored with countless aspects of who they are. There is not one thing or even a multitude of qualities I could pin my affection on regarding how I feel for Caroline. When I found myself lost in how the light was falling on her hair, shirt, and face with her gaze focused on what she was doing, I smiled inside and, in an instant, sighed upon the realization of how familiar I am with how her hands work at spinning yarn, typing, turning a page, holding a seashell, or reaching for my hand. I smiled at the single headphone in her ear as she was listening to an audiobook while the other dangled to the side so she could hear me if I talked to her. Her glasses are probably dirty because that’s their normal state, but that won’t stop her from looking up to glance at me occasionally and offer me a big warm smile with eyes that say, I love you.

As much as she appreciates putzing around at home on the weekend, Caroline also enjoys just hanging out with me, savoring her iced coffee with a splash of oat milk, joining in on the occasional conversation I strike up with people, and playing with whatever craft she’s brought along. The Fitbit on her left wrist reminds me that we were out walking earlier and that we’ll be walking again after dinner, as we probably get about 75% of our 10,000 steps a day walking together, often hand in hand. The blouse she’s wearing is a recent acquisition from Mexico because, for the past year, she’s been absolutely in love with clothes from the Mayan region of Chiapas, Mexico. Had this been 20 years ago, she might have been wearing a salwar kameez or kurti (Hindu shirt), as my wife has never been one to care about fitting in with the hip crowd while being appreciative of the diversity of global culture.

During the times we are apart, though we are never really apart because Skype is always open, so we can reach out and nudge one another with a hug or expression of love, we are still connected even if nothing is shared. There’s something about our relationship that seems to have grown in its symbiotic nature, as though we are becoming conjoined. This has me thinking about how albatrosses can spend years learning to cooperate before becoming mates for life; maybe that’s what Caroline and I are like. I was talking with ChatGPT about this, and it shared, “Albatross courtship is quite elaborate and can involve synchronized flying, mutual preening, and a variety of calls and displays. These rituals are important for forming strong pair bonds that can last a lifetime.” It also pointed out how albatrosses can spend 50 or more years together and that the oldest wild albatross, at 70 years old, is still rearing chicks, meaning it and its lifelong mate are still bonded. Yep, we are like a couple of old birds.

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