Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 13

Ohio

Millies Café – “Go a quarter-mile and turn right at the caution light, go about four miles” are the instructions we use to find breakfast. Nothing on the highway identifies the place. Good thing we arrived on Wednesday, according to the waitress, as on weekends it’s standing room only. If you were to see for yourself how sparse the local population is out here, you’d understand how popular this place is to bring people in from near and far.

Ohio

Before and after breakfast, we were dealing with somewhat heavy fog, which quickly burned off into a blistering heat combined with humidity conditions, leaving us feeling like we were in a tropical fishbowl. We sweat. The air conditioner vents in the car sweat. The air is sweating. Humidity is a nemesis and absolutely alien to someone who’s been living in that good old Arizona dry heat. Moving around causes each individual pore to sweat in a kind of torture. Seconds later, every square inch of clothing is damp, but it’s so hot that our clothes are not cooled by the breeze or fans blowing air in the car. We are so hot and humid that we start creating our own personal cloud of humidity. I think we will start raining upon ourselves.

Ohio

The Ohio River Valley in July is not only a nearly unbearable land of humidity but also laden with crops this time of year. From vineyards, corn, beans, and melons to tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, eggplant, and tobacco, we are taking inventory of a cornucopia of produce here along the river.

Ohio

Towns come and go, none really stand out. The scenery is definitely the winner here until we make Manchester, Ohio, where we stop at a small winery called Moyer on the Ohio. As they also have a cafe on the premises we use the opportunity to have lunch. Mom also picked up four bottles of Ohio wine, and we were right back on the road.

Ohio

Our waitress recommended that we cross the river into Maysville, Kentucky, about 20 minutes southwest of the winery. She emphasized that we go to Old Washington in Maysville in particular.

Ohio

I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to just drive by an abandoned gas station, as there’s something fascinating about these places. My best guess about what the attraction is would be that my imagination conjures the sights and sounds of travelers from the past who are driving somewhere new. Not going to work or school but on a migrant journey following opportunity and chasing new horizons. Without the mass media, we have today, those travelers from a previous age would be venturing into a great unknown where every corner showed them the unexpected.

Those people were fleeing their own uncertainty and inability to deal with particular situations, hoping for a new start elsewhere. When I stopped at a house in ruin, there really wasn’t anything special about the chaos of the place that appeared ransacked following its previous inhabitants abandoning it, but there was one thing that stood out. While everything appears to be turned over the potholder above the stove looks untouched. The person who put that back up on its hook after removing dinner from the oven probably never thought that they’d never use it again.

There are certainly parallels between these rural abandonments and Buffalo, which makes me wonder about what places in America are next.

Kentucky

Great recommendation from the woman at the winery to visit Old Washington. This is where Harriet Beecher Stowe found some of the inspiration to write Uncle Tom’s Cabin after watching a slave auction at the local courthouse back in 1833.

Kentucky

Quite a few old buildings from the 1700s still stand on Old Main Street; I only wish we had more time to visit. The truth is that we had enough time, but the hot weather and humidity were too oppressive for Mom’s comfort, so she waited in the car with the a/c on while I jumped out and grabbed a few photos.

Kentucky

There’s a lot of history in this small town I hope to find again someday in the future, but for now, we are leaving.

Kentucky

Back across the river in Ohio, just before Ripley, we stop to take a photo of a houseboat that is undergoing renovation. Seeing the owner, Mom now has the wherewithal to exit the car. I see how it is; if it’s something my mom wants, she’ll go the extra mile. She asks Bob, the owner of a local upholstery shop, about his labor of love. He’s been working on this aluminum 42-footer for four years now and is almost ready to start putting it back together.

Kentucky

Ripley itself is one of the towns Mom and I swear we must come back to. Sometimes, in the most unlikely of places, the most wonderful surprises await you. Today, it happened multiple times. Driving through Ripley, Mom spots an Easy Step shoe outlet and insists on visiting. Twenty minutes later, with five pairs of shoes and a new purse, she emerges to me, napping in the running car.

Kentucky

A few more miles down the road, and we’re aiming to cross the river back into Kentucky. Our $5 ferry ride has us landing in Augusta, Kentucky, our next amazing surprise location. Not far after leaving Augusta, we are on some of the twistiest roads known to mankind. A light rain starts to fall, but only for a minute before it starts to pummel the earth. Darkness descends in midday, and lightning strikes not more than 300 feet in front of us, making Mom grab my arm so quickly and tightly that I thought I’d jerk the van off the road.

Kentucky

The rain comes and goes while the road continues to twist and turn, zig and zag and we finally return to the road we were supposed to be on. The next stop was at a gas station for the facilities. I ask about a good place for home cooking and the attendant is quick to tell us of Mr. Ed’s in Verona. About 10 miles up the highway and then about 3 miles west, we will find Verona. One wrong turn, and we took the long way down a narrow road, which proved nice for photos but added a few miles to the journey. At the intersection of Mudlick and Glencoe Roads, we see that the girl meant Mr. Herb’s in Verona; there could not be another restaurant in this tiny village.

Kentucky

The food is excellent. The starter is fried green tomatoes; we agree they are the best we have ever had. I ordered the cod, for which they are locally famous, and Mom went for the catfish. For sides, Mom has more fried green tomatoes, and for me, the green beans. Both of our dishes are great, but I would have preferred the catfish. For dessert, we nearly have coronaries before reaching the front door after gobbling down a deep-fried slice of apple pie with ice cream and caramel sauce, an “oh my god!” experience. Feeling like we’re falling behind schedule, although it’s a loose one for sure, we decide on taking the dreaded freeway to shave some time off the driving requirements.

John Wise in Indiana

The idea was to beeline it to Madison, Indiana, and then take Highway 56 across the state as we continue in our effort to bypass any major cities and minimize freeway driving. Right, enough energy to go shoe shopping and eat deep-fried apple pie, but it’s too hot, and her feet hurt, so I have to get out and snap a selfie of myself. I should have worn donuts on my shoulders to get my mom to follow me around.

Indiana

Does that look like Kentucky to you? As far as I could tell, the barge was hauling coal.

Indiana

In Old Madison, we almost ruined our plans. This place must be one of a small handful of absolutely perfect places in America. I had said Harbor Springs in Michigan would be in the top three, and Monterey, California, would probably be there too; that leaves Madison to round out the list. I’ll have to give this more thought and see just what my top 10 favorite American cities would be. I suppose I would also want to include Canandaigua, New York. While I’m at it, throw in Apalachicola, Florida, so there it is a beginning to my all-time favorite cities in the United States.

Indiana

We talk of staying the night after spotting a riverside motel that, for only $59, begs us to stay. Our loved ones back home are begging us to return, so we decide it’s better to get a few more miles down the road before calling it a day.

Indiana

Only 75 more miles were driven before we were too tired to continue. We made it to Paoli, Indiana, but didn’t quite find what we were looking for in accommodations. In French Lick, we stop at the Lane Motel grabbing a nice little room for about $57.

Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 12

Pennsylvania

Breakfast starts the day at a little café called Skyjet located at the ‘top of the hill’ right here in Tionesta. Nice place with average food, not bad at all, just not outstanding.

Pennsylvania

Our drive is taking us through the Allegheny National Forest and mostly along the Allegheny River. The road twists and turns for quite a long time. We zig and zag, heading toward the western edge of Pennsylvania. Our goal is to stay in rural settings as much as possible as we aim to find the Ohio River somewhere out in front of us.

Pennsylvania

Countryside ruins hold intrigue as I wonder about the lives that occurred within these walls and consider the lost dreams as the former inhabitants pulled up roots and moved down the road to start over. On the other hand, urban ruins are loaded with the bad feelings of people who may have never had ambitions and were simply beaten down by the system. For me, they are two sides of tragedy but one I never want to witness firsthand as I don’t believe the latter really ever aims for a fresh start.

Pennsylvania

By the time we reach Oil City, Pennsylvania, it’s time to take a hard left to aim south. The sky is cloudy but does not appear to be threatening us with imminent rain. The humidity is almost overwhelming. Everything in the car is damp, everything we wear is damp, and sweat continuously drips, dampening our hopes of drying out. Our escape from the heat of the Arizona summer has been less than effective, futile even. The next day’s weather report tells us to expect more of the same. Caroline informs us it’s over 120 ‘real’ degrees in Phoenix, not the reported 117 degrees.

Pennsylvania

Through farms and forests, we crawl along. Finding elderflowers in Eldersville, Pennsylvania, seemed poetic. West of there, we enter West Virginia at a tiny border crossing that apparently doesn’t deserve a Welcome to West Virginia sign. Our first town is Follansbee where we stumble upon a bakery; not much left, though, we leave with a still-hot blackberry pie. Don’t think for a second we left with a slice; we left with the whole thing.

Wellsburg, West Virginia, is a well-maintained, beautiful village kept alive by the steel industry and coal-generated power. Lunch was at a small Main Street restaurant with a great homemade chicken dumpling soup. Their chicken pot pie was the daily special; I went for it while Mom had a Philly cheesesteak. Steel and coal are still alive here, and the town is better for it. Wellsburg is impeccable.

Pennsylvania

We remain on the West Virginia side of the Ohio River as we meander further south for another hour or two of curves and hills. Passing the south side of Wheeling, we cross over the river, landing in Ohio. More forests and farms dot the landscape along this side of the Ohio River.

Pennsylvania

It is a slow day of driving for us and by the time we start approaching Belpre, Ohio, we are ready for dinner. I know you must be thinking, “Jeez, these two are eating their way across America.” To an extent, that is true, but since leaving Wellsburg, hours and hours have passed.

Ohio

We see that Parkersburg, West Virginia, is bigger than Belpre and figure there are better dining options over there. So we pay the toll to cross the bridge and, at the toll booth ask an elderly guy where’s the best place to get catfish. He recommends that we go back up Route 7 over in Ohio, where we just came from, to a place called Catfish Heaven. Great, we make a U-turn that takes a mile to figure out. We pay the toll to return over the bridge and head back up Route 7.

Four or five miles, just as the guy told us. There it is, except it is called Catfish Paradise. I should note I know this is the right place because before committing to this backtracking, I stopped at a 7/11 to ask the cashier for confirmation of the location. I explained that my mom and I wanted some catfish and that the guy at the toll booth told us about Catfish Heaven; she nodded in agreement and confirmed that the place is only 4 or 5 miles north.

Ohio

We miss the turn but find a middle-of-the-road spot to make a U-turn that was probably only supposed to be used by law enforcement – hey, I’m a tourist! We see fishermen around the roadside little lake and think, wow, this must be a catch-and-eat fresh kind of place. Oh, NO, it’s not! This is not a restaurant. This is a catfish farm with no onsite cook waiting to batter our fresh catch of the day and throw some hot sauce and lemon at us.

I’m sure that this is some kind of joke played on tourists, knowing we wanted fried fish, not swimming fish. Mom is cackling like a chicken; I’m a bit annoyed at wasting the 20 minutes, seventy cents in tolls, and having to listen to Mom bust a gut for the next 10 minutes.

Ohio

Defeated we decide to skip our hunt for fish and keep on driving, certain we’ll find something soon.

Ohio

Out on the Ohio Scenic Byway just enjoying the day.

Ohio

Lucky us as one of our encounters with a local person, had recommended that we leave Highway 7 and take Route 124 instead. We are now on even more rural lands with no services, no hotels, no restaurants, and a detour. Tomato fields, bell peppers, corn, eggplants, chilies, beans, and more tomatoes dot the landscape here near the Ohio River.

The urge to nab a few of the red ripe tomatoes is almost too much to bear, but Mom shoves a heap of guilt on me that this would be stealing. It would be sampling, and there is no one roadside to sell us any. We drive on.

Ohio

With starvation setting in, we are now wishing we’d grabbed a couple of those catfish that could be turned into sushi instead of facing death. That Bocce Club pizza we bought a few days ago and sat on the backseat for a day or so would come in handy about now, and we’re both certain it would still be great. Dreams of Perry’s ice cream overwhelm us as we cruise through this food desert where the uncertainty of our next meal is torturing us.

Ohio

Beautiful river scenery and tiny villages go by until we reach Pomeroy, the largest town we have seen in hours. So large is Pomeroy that it has a McDonalds, a KFC, and a Wendy’s. It is the Wild Horse Café, though, that gets our vote for dinner.

Ohio

We are sitting riverside at sunset for dinner. Our server brings over some tortilla chips with salsa that is surprisingly really good. Waiting on our entrees we have this great view of the glowing clouds reflecting in the Ohio River. Our lodging for the evening is also in Pomeroy at the Meigs Motel. More of the Ohio River awaits us in the morning.

Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 11

Buffalo, New York 2005

Certain family members didn’t like the idea that their grandson was going to be living in a ghetto, and so just before I was born, my mother and father moved into an apartment here at 36 Chapel Road in the Kenmore neighborhood. While only a few miles away from Sheridan Park, it remains a world away to this day. This wasn’t our first stop today, nor would it be our last, but by the time we start to head out of Buffalo later, we’ll have driven nearly 400 miles over the streets of what was once known as the City of Lights, but today would better be known as the City of Crime.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Art Deco was all the rave in 1920 when the North Park Theatre was opened. The stained glass windows that were falling into disrepair have been hidden behind walls, architectural changes were made to save on heating costs, and over time, like so many things in Buffalo, there was too little commerce and little care for a theater when larger problems were challenging Buffalonians. Back in 1998, Buffalo native Vincent Gallo, who directed Buffalo ’66, premiered his movie right here at North Park. Stars Christina Ricci and Asia Argento joined Vincent, bringing a touch of glamor back to the theater for a moment. Remember that I’m writing this in 2019, and just around the corner in 2020, the theater will be celebrating its 100th anniversary. In 2013, new owners started the laborious process of restoring North Park to its former glory. In the summer of 2019, during the theatre’s reopening, the lobby’s high ceilings and views of the restored stained glass were unveiled.

Buffalo, New York 2005

A hoped-for breakfast stop at an old deli scheduled to reopen today after its owner had been on vacation was a futile waste of time as nothing inside was set up, and as we were looking inside, the gruff, unfriendly owner chased us away, telling us he was not reopening and that’s that. It turned out that within 60 days, that old guy named Jack Shapiro would retire, and Mastman’s Kosher Deli would disappear.

We ate at Bertha’s Diner just down the road here on Hertel Avenue instead. Nice place. Just an old-style coffee shop with some ridiculously low prices. A table nearby is overheard talking about Schwabl’s, a restaurant of keen interest to us. They confirm that one of them has eaten there in the past week, and it is, in fact, still open. Lunch is on the schedule.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Earlier, I said Buffalo should be called the City of Crime. While the rate of violent crime has fallen since the 1990s, Buffalo is still usually in the top 10 of the most dangerous cities in America. The poverty rate here stands around 30%, and moving through its streets, the sense of that danger is palpable. As far as New York as a whole goes, Buffalo is the most dangerous city in the entire state. With that said, I never felt threatened anywhere we visited, but then again, I also knew that I would not want to be the person needing to walk through this neighborhood at night after buying one of these beautiful buildings for a renovation project. By the way, check out this Jackson’s Produce & Meats shop with the box glued onto the front of the old house; doesn’t it give the impression that the cannibal slaughter was going on in the main house with body parts being sold in the front?

Buffalo, New York 2005

The ethnic hate and racism in this city are worn right out in front. Apparently, this council member, Nick Bonifacio guy was a “Handpicked party controlled Italian.” Listening in on Buffalonians at some of the eating establishments, it’s easy to overhear conversations about the “Eyetalians,” “Polacks,” “the Jews,” and “the Blacks or Coloreds.” I thought this kind of ethnic division was something from a previous century and that the North was supposed to be welcoming of African Americans, but that’s not my experience here on the streets of Buffalo.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Shortly after emigrating from Germany to Buffalo, New York, my family, the Kurchoffs, became established with a strong foothold in Buffalo.

Buffalo, New York 2005

That’s my mom sitting in front of Buffalo Engine House No. 26, built back in 1894 with the help of her great-grandfather.

Buffalo, New York 2005

In our senseless wandering around, somehow, we made it back out to West Seneca and Schwabl’s. Not only did we have a late breakfast, but it was not even lunchtime yet. Seeing we are able to shovel food in where it was thought there was no more space, we know ourselves well enough that if we leave now, we’ll not return later. So we walk into the nearly empty restaurant and are happy we did. Only 20 minutes after our arrival, not only was the place full but there were ten people waiting for a table.

The Schwabl family started their business of feeding people in this city back in 1837, only five years after Buffalo had become an official place on the map. By 1942, they were operating in their current location and will hopefully continue well into the future. Their specialty is the Roast Beef Sandwich On Kümmelweck, also known as beef on weck – a half-pound of hand-cut roast beef served on a fresh roll dusted with rock salt and caraway seeds with some sinus-clearing horseradish. For dessert, I order a stand-alone beef on weck without the sides. I think I could have eaten three of them.

Buffalo, New York 2005

We should have started heading south out of Buffalo, but Mom had one more stop she wanted us to make. So, back across town, but first, we dipped down Emslie Street here to visit the ruin of the Sacred Heart Church, where Aunt Eleanor was baptized and attended catechism as a child. Back then, the church was still new, having been built in 1913, shortly after Auntie was born. I wasn’t able to capture a decent photo of the church itself, so I snapped this image of the crossroads to act as my reminder of where the place was.

Buffalo, New York 2005

If I’d not taken this photo myself, you could have told me that this 1950 Packard Sedan had just come off the assembly line and that I was looking at Buffalo during its heyday. This was almost our last stop in the city today, but next, we took a drive past Our Lady of Victory Basilica, which was also known as Father Baker’s. This was another situation where I was not going to be able to get a decent photo, which is a shame as it’s a very nice-looking cathedral and, as I was informed, the place where I was baptized. Time to leave Buffalo.

Buffalo, New York 2005

As we point the car to the southwest, we are effectively aiming for home, but we’ll first have to stop in Angola. Mom is nervous about heading down, and I think she’d like to postpone our visit, but my curiosity is too great. Our family used to own a summer cottage on Lake Erie in Angola, and the last time mom was there in 1993, the place was in ruins; she was expecting worse today. The last time I visited the cottage was probably in 1968.

Arriving in Angola off Lake Shore Road at the intersection with Humboldt Avenue, we find the place entirely renovated. The man renting it tells us he’s moving out soon and talks a bit about the new owner. I ask if I can take photos of the outside, and he obliges me. We walk around the old place and try to remember our days spent here long ago. Mom and I, as children, had both spent summers out here next to the lake with Grandma Josephine and Auntie. Mom, as an adult, had also lived out here after she and her second husband considered making a life south of Buffalo. That didn’t work out, and ultimately it was sold off. Without fanfare, we leave driving southwest a day ahead of schedule.

Buffalo was exhausting but also taught me a lot about who my mother is, considering the environment she grew up in. My mom was born in 1947 before the exodus of the city had begun. She stayed long enough through the early 1970s to witness the first mass migration when 100,000 people were moving away from Buffalo during those years. She watched poverty skyrocket and witnessed her parents lose their life savings to a swindler. Her poor decision to become sexually active at 14 years old (while good for me) likely put her in a far worse position than if she’d finished high school and (maybe) attended university. She appears to have grown up blaming others for her situations, rarely taking responsibility for her biases and blunders. First, moving to California in an attempt to reconcile with my father, she quickly realized the error of her ways and returned to Buffalo, but only shortly before marrying another man and moving to Phoenix, Arizona, to start fresh. I have no idea what my mother was looking for in Buffalo and even less hope that she found anything more than bittersweet nostalgia.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Out of the depravity of upstate New York and back into the bucolic countryside of rural America. I love it out here.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Ah, yes, it’s Dolly Dimples again. Caroline and I passed this psycho-killer monument back in 2000 when we were driving to Buffalo for the first time. Dolly lives at Valvo’s Candies in Silver Creek, New York. Click here to see my old photo at night and just try to imagine her emerging out of the night.

Karen Goff and John Wise in Buffalo, New York 2005

Our last stop on one of the Great Lakes, Lake Erie, to be exact. I may someday be proven wrong but I believe this is the last photo of my mom and I ever taken. My mom died on March 25, 2018. It’s strange to think that over the intervening 13 years, there wasn’t one more photo taken of the two of us.

Pennsylvania

Playing it by ear, we drive south into Pennsylvania through some Amish areas before reaching Warren on the Allegheny River. It’s a nice little town. Mom has to do some laundry, so we take a pause in the trek home. This was also our last chance for scoops of Perry’s ice cream and we didn’t pass up the opportunity. Once a glutton, always a glutton.

Pennsylvania

We did not pull up to an Amish household and ask to do our laundry here, though if I thought it possible, I’d love to spend a few days with an Amish family learning firsthand about their way of life.

Pennsylvania

A couple of hours later, we find ourselves continuing along the Allegheny River.

It’s getting late in the day, and sunset is soon to happen. Mom is hungry for some dinner, so we check into Mid-Town Motel in Tionesta, Pennsylvania, for under $65, including tax. Without paying, we are given a key and told to come back after we eat as the only open restaurant stops serving at 9:00 p.m. which is only about 15 minutes from now. The Forest Inn was on the other side of the Allegheny River, with lasagna as the special of the day. We both opted for it out of convenience. With drinks, dinner was a reasonable price of only $18.65 without tip.

Back on the other side of the river, we stop at the front office and pay our bill offering thanks for getting us to dinner with minutes to spare. The room is great, terrific even. We have a fridge, stove, two TVs, A/C, microwave, small dining room table, a desk, couch, and three ceiling fans, and we are across the street from the river. Tomorrow, we send ourselves in the direction of the Ohio River which we should pick up just south of Wheeling, West Virginia.

Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 10

Buffalo, New York 2005

Buffalo is dismal. Breakfast was equally dismal. How can my mom have fond memories of Tim Hortons? I wish Kelly’s Country Store over on Grand Island had been open early as at least I had great memories of that place from my youth, while Tim Hortons has left me with scars. As the day went on, our bad doughnuts and sour orange juice, in retrospect, seemed appropriate for the taste Buffalo would leave in my mouth. Even here at the Harbour Place Marine, where my grandfather had docked his yacht, and at the once elegant restaurant where my mother tells me I first ate frog’s legs, the shine is gone.

John Wise, Shari Wise with parents Karen Kurchoff, John Wise with Herbert and Hazel Kurchoff in Buffalo New York in 1966

Speaking of those good old days in Buffalo, here we are on Easter in 1966 at that once elegant restaurant I mentioned, which was then known as Jafco Marina & Restaurant. I’m sitting in my mom’s lap (please don’t ask me to explain the shower cap), and my father is on her left. My sister Shari sits in front of Horror Bunny, and that’s my Grandma Hazel and Grandpa Herbert on the right.

Buffalo, New York 2005

We drive along the Niagara River on River Road on our way to more of Mom’s old favs. Next up was Sully’s Olde Tyme Bar & Grille, which only closed up shop the year before. We know this because the front door was open, and I stepped in. Sully’s is where my mom was introduced to beef on weck, which is a Buffalo favorite of sliced roast beef served on a kimmelweck roll with gravy and horseradish. A kimmelweck is a bun with rock salt and caraway seeds on top. The new owner picked up the place for the view for a little more than $40,000. A corner lot with an unimpeded view of the Niagara River is a great view for sure, but the building is approaching 200 years of age! It was apparently originally used as a mule rest stop and feeding area when the Erie Canal was still running in front of the place. Today, the Erie Canal in this area has been replaced with a parkway.

Nostalgia can be a wicked shovel digging up a past better left alone. As we drove north on River Road, we approached a factory where both my father and Aunt Anne once worked, DuPont. Here we are in Tonawanda, digging into mom’s history when she has the brilliant idea of taking a photo of the place to share with my great aunt back in Santa Barbara, California. Good idea, Mom, let me just jump out of the car and start snapping photos of this chemical factory in post-9/11 America. At the time I made the quick and likely unsafe left turn and parked illegally on the corner, I was oblivious to the situation I was creating. But upon getting back in the car and starting to pull away, a police officer must have been seeing reality differently than I was and figured I needed a wake-up call with some early morning disco lights and siren action.

Those lights spelled party time. “What are you doing?” was the first question the officer posed to me. “I know this looks bad, probably really bad. I hadn’t thought about just how dumb it must look with me jumping out of an illegally parked car to snap photos of a chemical factory, but I do now.” He takes my driver’s license, the registration, and my camera back to his car as another officer pulls in behind the first one. The second officer approaches after conferring with the first and asks what we are doing. We explain the Bocce Club, Texas Red Hots, fresh raspberries, Anderson’s, Perry’s, pilgrimage to the place of our birth and, in the same breath, apologize for the momentary cranial disconnect in causing them more work as I stupidly took photos that in quick hindsight was obviously a bad idea.

The original officer came back, giving back the camera, my license, the registration, and even an apology for keeping us; I was surprised. A mild admonishment was delivered with further warnings to stay away from old factory facilities. While sitting there, I was nearly certain I was about to be tasered, dragged from the automobile, and taken downtown for further questioning before ending up in the hoosegow for the night. Hmmm, I’ve probably watched too many bad movies as nothing like that happened.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Time to move into the suburbs over on Chadduck and Condon Avenues, where Grandma and Grandpa Kurchoff lived before buying the house on Nadon Place.

Buffalo, New York 2005

We drove through random neighborhoods where I could briefly entertain thoughts of how cool it would be to live in this area until you turn a corner and reenter the city in a place that looks as if the zombie apocalypse is most likely to begin here. Well, this place or Detroit, but then again, I suppose parts of Indiana should be a contender for that honor, too. If it isn’t the constant reminders of decay and poverty we encounter around far too many corners; then it’s the threat of some of the most hostile winter weather America sees right here next to Lake Erie that should keep one on one’s toes should one find oneself being seduced by Buffalo.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Founded in 1927 and still surviving to this day is Parkside Candy. We would have stopped had they been open, but this being Sunday, most places are either closed or open late. We don’t have time to mess around as we are on the crawl for all the things my mom needs to see in order for her to feel she’s had a full Buffalo experience. So, we continue our drive into history.

Buffalo, New York 2005

The poverty seen here has infiltrated the entire greater Buffalo area. You never know from one corner to the next where filth and decrepitude will give way to what in some corners of the country would be million-dollar homes. This might be normal to people who’ve grown up here, but to me, there’s an element of anxiety that comes with my knowledge that people have to endure this oppressive, crushing environment.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Not happy with nearly getting in trouble at one factory we end up at a derelict old General Electric ruin. This is where our aunt Eleanor worked from an early age all the way through retirement. This factory made transistors ceasing operations somewhere during the early 70s. No one approached us to stop taking photos, though I was cautious that someone would run by and try stealing my camera or carjack the van.

Buffalo, New York 2005

We are on Main Street, which runs from downtown to the South Campus of the University of Buffalo. Not much to be said for wide swaths of this city approaching collapse.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Under this water tower was a Packard assembly plant with a showroom out front. When we were in town, the building was being used as a warehouse. Somewhere during the time we visited and today in 2019, the old Packard building complex has been converted to low-cost affordable housing.

Buffalo, New York 2005

The Anchor Bar, where my mom swears that co-owner Teressa taught her how to make Buffalo Wings back in the early 70s. In 1980, when I moved to Arizona, I’d never heard of the things in Los Angeles, but in this state right next to California, there were a few restaurants that were already serving wings at their pizza places. Using Frank’s Redhot Sauce, butter, and vinegar, my mom would make wings that beat just about everybody else’s for great taste. You see, my mother was prone to exaggeration and hyperbole (which some people might call bullshit), but I can tell you, due to me being afflicted with the same problem, that it’s likely mostly true that my mom learned to make wings right here at the Anchor Bar. Was it really from the woman who actually invented them, though? I’ll never know.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Mom had read some good things about Eddie Brady’s on Chippewa and Genesee Streets, but as luck would have it, they are closed on Sundays. I have to say that on this gray day with a big black old Cadillac parked on the street with a bunch of boarded-up collapsing buildings surrounding Eddie’s, I was happy this deserted part of Buffalo seemed to be screaming to get out of here. I was nearly certain that there was some bound and gagged stooly in the trunk who was on their way to the river. Fifteen years later, I’m looking on Google Maps, and the area has been renovated. I’d stop in now in a heartbeat.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Buffalo City Hall is a giant 32-story reminder of the grandeur and economic position this city once held. Not only was it home to the Barcalounger Chair and singer Rick James but it was the first city with electric street lights; the Pony Express and American Express were founded in Buffalo. In 1901, the city had more than 200 miles of paved roads, more than any other city on earth, and at one time, it had 60 millionaires living here, which was more than in any other city in America.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Buffalo today is a shadow of its former self. Declining standards in education, lack of investment in its population, and rising racism started driving people out of Buffalo decades ago with subsequent declines of investments in human capital that fed poverty and racism, creating a cycle that would guarantee that the city would never recover. The population is half the size it was at the height of its prosperity, and what can be easily gleaned from this catastrophic failure is that the acceptance of mediocrity in telling the average Joe that good enough is just that, is actually a recipe for a disaster that looks like this city.

Buffalo, New York 2005

If this is the face of stupid decisions where local attitudes played down the intellectual needs of a city to advance economically in our age, what will our country look like in the near future as this mentality of being just good enough and damning those who don’t go along with our jingoistic pride spreads cancer like across our country? It’s not good enough that tiny pockets of prosperity keep the glimmer of hope alive with thinking that we can turn something around and drag the decaying malaise out of its gutter. We must get off our knees in front of the altar of football and wings and start praying to the tools that offer education, but that’s a silly pipedream proven by this slum that overtook the aspirations of Billups Steakhouse and over 50% of the population of this once great city.

Buffalo, New York 2005

We stop on Richmond Avenue to visit Auntie’s old house. It’s still brown; a new owner bought it a year ago for about $160,000. Three stories and a basement, the price is so low it shocks me. We are invited in for a quick look around; wow, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined I’d ever step back into a place I lived in 37 years ago. If this house had been in San Francisco, New York City, or Pacific Palisades, it would have sold for millions, but who wants to live in Buffalo, no matter how cheap it might be?

Buffalo, New York 2005

We visit old schools mom, my father, or I attended, old houses we lived in, the places we ate at, and all I hear are the echoes of tragedy. Grandma and Grandpa’s old business locations are gone; an old dairy where my great-grandfather operated his business is an abandoned shell. What’s left is an infrastructure to produce more poverty and more intolerance.

Buffalo, New York 2005

We tried visiting my aunt Lillian, who lives here in Eggertsville, in the same house her parents lived in. Fortunately, she wasn’t home. It was my mom’s idea to surprise her as she said she and my aunt had always gotten along well. I didn’t want to squash that idea, and I figured Lillian would be polite enough, but I don’t think my mom understood how the vitriol she spewed against my father had a toxic effect that poisoned any goodwill that this side of the family might have once held for my mother. How is it that people are able to live through the decades carrying such bitterness with them?

Buffalo, New York 2005

A long time ago, about 100 years prior to today, one of my maternal great-grandfathers operated a dairy from this location. His horse-drawn cart would be parked in the garage. So says my mother.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Mom has a particular affinity for many of Buffalo’s old buildings, as the Kurchoff family name is stamped on a few of them. My ancestors had something to do with the painting and construction of more than a couple of Buffalo’s landmark buildings.

Buffalo, New York 2005

There, on 1079 Union Road, at Sports Replay (which is now a Cricket Wireless shop as of this writing), once sat the shop owned by my grandmother Hazel Kurchoff. From this location in West Seneca, she was a consultant on interior design and would even make curtains and reupholster furniture for clients while Grandpa Herbie took care of woodworking and painting for clients. The family had survived the Great Depression and started regrowing their wealth, though a large piece of it was lost when an unscrupulous accountant made off with the majority of their savings in the 1970s and was never apprehended. The house on Rochester was sold by my aunt, who used the money to buy her place in Bradenton, Florida, followed by the family selling a cottage down on Lake Erie in the community of Angola, and then the house on Nadon before most everyone had relocated either to Florida or Arizona.

Buffalo, New York 2005

Worn out, we take a hotel early and fall to sleep with a much-needed nap. The Anchor Motel is on River Road south of Niagara Falls and only a mile and a half from the infamous Love Canal area. Before napping, the owner of the Anchor Motel gave us directions to Old Greenwalls for what he believed was great beef on weck. We got turned around, requiring help from Caroline in Arizona. On finding Old Greenwalls, we agreed that the sandwich was decent but not the best. Some ducks are nearly within petting distance and obviously used to a routine, so we oblige them with fries and old bread. Nearby, a squirrel shimmies up a trashcan, pilfering the Bocce Club pizza we just dumped that we’d been carrying around. A scoop of Perry’s Vanilla ice cream completes dinner.

To close out the day, I’d like to visit Niagara Falls, but Mom only reluctantly agrees to go. I guess with no great food stands and this having been an obligatory destination for visitors from out of town when my mom was a kid; there’s some kind of super-uncool factor going on here. That or she had once contemplated ending it by flinging herself over the edge. With someone not really interested in what I wanted to do, it was easy enough to snap a quick photo on the American side of the falls and return to the hotel.

Jutta Returns to Germany

My mother-in-law, Jutta Engelhardt and Caroline Wise at the airport just before Jutta departs for her return to Frankfurt, Germany

Ok, so this isn’t Day 10 of my trip back east, but it was a cloudy, gray, rainy, humid day in Buffalo, where the city was in such ugly decay that picking a different picture for POTD was necessary.

This was Jutta’s last day in the United States. My mother-in-law spent two months with us and for the most part, it was a great two months, not perfect, but no disaster either. For the past week, Caroline and Jutta had time to themselves while my mom and I had our bonding time on the trip back east.

Caroline drove her mom to the airport for an early morning departure to Chicago, where she connected to a flight bound for Frankfurt, Germany. As you can see, Caroline was genuinely sad to see her mom leave.

Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 9

New York

The sun will dip in and out of view before taking refuge behind clouds that overtook the sky. After ensuring that the light of day had, in fact, returned, I turned to deal with breakfast. Growing tired of restaurants, I’d decided the night before that we’d have our first meal of the day in the cabin. Last night I made a solo trip to Oswego to find the place has two grocery stores, a couple of small markets, a health food store, a bookstore, and even a university. I had been looking for a bakery but had to make do with one of the groceries. With a bottle of orange juice and a loaf of the firmest whole-grain bread I could find, breakfast was in hand.

Following my errand into town and still needing more me time after Mom went to sleep, I went out to the patio of our cabin. With my eyes adjusted to the dark, I noticed a spider starting work on a new web. I can’t say I ever stopped to watch this process before. How wonderful watching two right legs position themselves on two different strands of web, apparently measuring tension, while three other legs, one right and two left, weave the web and pull in the slack web. The spider would then grab hold of an overhead strand, and while it scooted across the length of the web, it let out another strand that was connected to the opposite side. Next, it would drop down, riding yet another strand to a lower horizontal piece of the web to connect it, crawl up the new strand, climb over, and descend, dropping another new part of the web. Wow, this is pretty cool, basic to probably almost anyone else, but sitting here in the darkness with a streetlight placing the spider into silhouette was an incredible moment for me.

Near the edge of the campsites and under a few of the trees, fireflies came up out of the grasses to make an appearance. Nothing like what we saw in Iowa but still a delightful sight. When I finally attempted to find some sleep, the room was still baking. With a fan sitting on a chair blowing directly at my head, I was soon off to sleep.

New York

Today, we are visiting the Finger Lakes region before going into Buffalo. The lakes are not far from where we stayed, next to Lake Ontario. We pass through Seneca Falls before getting our first view of Cayuga Lake. Not far south from that, we come across the first winery that catches Mom’s eye, Swedish Hills. It’s only 9:15, and the winery isn’t officially open, but the owner is in the store and obliges our early morning visit. Mom is hunting for cherry wines, and although she wasn’t able to get one here, she did find a great raspberry wine, a Svenska Red, a Mareschal Foch, and a Delaware white. As I don’t know a thing about wines, I can’t offer anything beyond their names.

New York

We go so far south as Ithaca but find little to get excited about from this historic town that boasts having Cornell University at the center of its universe. Maybe it was the heavy traffic or what appeared to be a poor downtown area in regards to shopping and eating possibilities, but whatever it was, we were soon gone.

New York

The next lake we visited among the “Fingers” was Seneca Lake, just west of Cayuga Lake. Around lunch, we stop at a lakeside restaurant but are chased away by flies and the absence of any staff to seat us. Over in Geneva, we spot a small place down a one-way street I turn up the wrong way to get to. We have club sandwiches at the Flower Petal Café and are happy we did so.

Geneva is a city that has seen better days. It’s been down but looks to be making a comeback. Our hope is that it works as it is ideally situated along the lakes, has beautiful architecture, and has the layout for a great community life that would play well to tourism.

In the small village of Williamson, we stopped at a great fruit and ice cream stand that was selling fresh homegrown raspberries, tiny plums, and local black cherries that were outstanding. The real draw of this place is the ice cream, though. Mom grew up eating Perry’s ice cream, and to this day, it is her favorite. I will attest to the fact that the vanilla with fresh raspberries would be hard to surpass.

New York

Pultneyville is a town that demands a repeat visit. This may have been the standout place of the day, but Buffalo surely wasn’t. The other nice finds were Appleton and Newfane. In Appleton, Mom and I stopped at the Maryjim Manor Winery in a beautiful old mansion. Mom struck gold with three different types of cherry wines, the second case of wine bought today.

Buffalo, New York

Not long after passing through Lockport, we entered the outskirts of Buffalo. In Buffalo, our first stop had to be Bocce Club Pizza, an old favorite of Mom and me. Armed with a 2-liter bottle of Loganberry juice, we eat till we are stuffed and likely will start showing signs of having diabetes. The remainder of the pizza is in the backseat, and we begin our tour of places where mom grew up and where I lived as a small child.

Buffalo, New York

Here we are on Nadon Place, where I would stay with my mother’s parents when I wasn’t staying with my father’s parents or my Aunt Eleanor and Great-Grandmother Josephine or my Aunt Lillian and Uncle Joe or Aunt Anne and Uncle Woody. To be honest, this was the one place I enjoyed the least as my grandma Hazel, whom my father affectionately referred to as Witch Hazel, was a stickler for the order of things and was adamant that we wouldn’t make messes in her prim and proper home. This is also the home my mother grew up in until that fateful summer day almost exactly 43 years ago when she got pregnant by a high school senior named John Michael Wise. When I consider that my mom conceived me somewhere between July 10 and July 19, 1962, and that we’re here revisiting her old haunts during those pivotal days as a kind of anniversary return, I gotta say I’m kinda freaked out.

Buffalo, New York

Anderson’s Custard because you can never eat enough ice cream in a single day. This location on Sheridan Drive was mom’s favorite and turned out to be halfway between her parent’s house and the first apartment I would live in before my sister Shari was born. I’m starting to think that the flavor of vanilla and the smell of yeast are the main ingredients of diabetes. Is it even safe to eat this much sugar in a day?

Buffalo, New York

Sheridan Park is a ghetto of low-income deprivation. Here at 33 Burns Court in the Sheridan Park community of Tonawanda in Buffalo, New York is where my mom spent her pregnancy until shortly before I was born in April 1963. Back then, it was the lowest-income neighborhood in Buffalo, though today, it doesn’t look as bad as some of the other places we’ve already driven past. Even with that comparison, this place is just plain scary.

Buffalo, New York

1051 Sheridan Drive was Franks Queen City Grille that was still operating when we came through and was the place of Mom’s first waitressing job. Franks is long gone as I write this, as is the place that took it over. From our apartment, it was just a half-mile around the corner to this joint.

Mom has some fond memories of Grand Island, which is where we went to find a place to stay at the Chateau Motor Lodge. The $70 seemed to be on the pricey side for the hot and humid room with a pipsqueak of an air conditioner that left me sweating like a pig for another night. Of course, it could also be sweat associated with getting stuffed like the aforementioned animal. Speaking of food, I should point out that there was still the matter of a little something for dinner with Mom asking the guy at the motel desk for a recommendation for Texas Hots, which are also called Greeks that drew us in like wolves on a fresh kill. Long live food, and to hell with our waistlines.