Fjord Cruise to Gudvangen, Norway

Aurlandfjord in Flåm, Norway

From our room at the Fretheim Hotel, we could see the fog hovering in the distance. Caroline insisted we get a better look, so before breakfast, we took a walk. I’m happy she made the suggestion because it offered us a mind cleansing before entering the circus of the buffet.

Aurlandfjord in Flåm, Norway

After we had gathered our morning meal, we were forced to witness the antics of the actors in this tragedy. An American couple hailing from Miami fetched their food in shifts as they must have feared something being stolen from their table. How did I verify they were from Miami? The first clue was the demonstration of fear, and the second was the show-it-all yoga pants. While I couldn’t hear them from where they sat, I did ask the husband, as he walked past, what state they were visiting from.

A pack of Germans descended, wearing their best Barbarian outfits representing the Neanderthal class. Did I say circus earlier? I might have meant the zoo.

An American man of proper Boomer age asked to sit at our table because the place was pretty full by this time. Before I could say no, Caroline said sure. Without skipping a beat, he showed his true colors when I warned him of our Statler and Waldorf routine of talking smack about those deserving of criticism, and he replied, “I’m right there with you, especially about our current President.” OMFG, our first obvious encounter with MAGA trash. At that moment, the hand of God must have nudged his wife to track her wayward husband down and told him to join her and some friends in another area of the dining room. No time for me to demand he GTFO and leave our table where we exercise the kind of bias we enjoy, not his uneducated brand of hate.

Aurlandfjord in Flåm, Norway

Back at the waterfront, we found peaceful tranquility made stunningly apparent as there was no cruise ship obscuring the view or the quiet. While I’ve written this already, I can’t help but reiterate that a village of 350 residents shouldn’t be required to deal with the onslaught of troglodytes falling out of a small floating city that excretes 6,000 chunks of refuse into an otherwise pristine environment. Obviously, there are not enough local Norwegians to handle the tourism traffic, so barracks have been built to house international workers from Argentina, Poland, Spain, Chile, Hungary, Slovakia, Italy, Brazil, and the United States.

If you should wonder why, while on vacation, I grind this axe instead of shielding my senses from witnessing declasse behavior and then vent such indignance time and again; it allows me to exorcise these bad impressions. I could choose to leave these reports out of my blog, seeing they’ve already been vented in my handwritten notebooks, but there’s a hope that someone might read a post and realize I’ve been writing about them and then might try to correct their boorish demeanor. My wish is for others not to disappear or cease to exist but to stop flaunting their contemptuous, entitled, and selfish oblivion that they are sharing space with others who are not interested in sharing their experience – just STFU or at least ratchet down the volume.

Otternes Farm in Aurland, Norway

No one would fault me for taking in the scenery, history, and cultural attributes of a place, yet I feel that my observing the worst of humanity that are also able to afford to put themselves in these special places has me looking petty. But when an affront to the senses effectively lifts its tail and shits upon what should otherwise be a poetic moment, I can’t help but note this all too common personality characteristic that is spreading like an infectious disease.

Leaving these uglier impressions here is simply part of the experience I should continue to process, just as I do when I look at this image of Otternes Farmyard and explore my recollections of our time there a couple of days ago. My notes serve as pointers that fill gaps, bring back impressions, and feed a space where memories can be stored for future reference, the good and bad.

Aurland, Norway

After so many days already out here in Europe, much has already blurred and would easily be forgotten if it were not for the knowledge that my daily writing exercises and thousands of photos are going to be put to work to solidify tenuous, fleeting impressions consumed by the intensity of so many experiences and the subsequent ones that are yet to be had. Those who fail in this exercise, I feel, fall into a kind of tragedy and, in the future, will struggle to recollect anything more than, “Do you remember that time we went to place x,y, or z?”

Dragging forward in great detail and vibrant imagery, what we experience over our waking days feels like an incredibly indulgent luxury. For those who might say they don’t have the time in their busy schedules, just look at what we shoved into a day, day after day. I’m also well aware that we are often out and about before everyone else and we are the last people on the streets before walking into our lodgings, yet at 60 years old, here I am, able to have my cake, savor it, save some for later, and offer myself and Caroline a morsel in the years to come via these detailed memories we get to revisit.

Aurlandfjord in Norway

Cloudy with potentially heavy afternoon wind failed to materialize. Instead, we have sun and blue skies for the two-hour cruise on an electric boat to Gilligans Island, which in Norwegian is spelled Gudvangen. Do not pity us for our sunny passage on the Aurland and Nærøyfjord; we know full well how fortunate we are. And to top it off, our experience is being taken to exponential levels through the amazing hotdogs served on board. They are sprinkled with crispy onions that act as fairy dust because these pølser (Norwegian for sausages) are magic.

Caroline Wise and John Wise on Aurlandfjord in Norway

All I ask for is civility and quiet when it’s appropriate. Contrary to the sound of my grump, I do not hate humanity, but I do enjoy the 60-year-old version of “Get off of my lawn,” a thing I’ve been cultivating for the last twenty or thirty years.

Undredal, Norway

That’s Undredal across the fjord with a road that allows residents to come and go, and I know that after looking at the map of the area and trying to find any Streetview images. There are but a few out here, but I did catch some 360-degree images someone took on a ship or ferry in the winter that was enticing enough that I could see the attraction of visiting on the cold, dark days of December or January.

Aurlandfjord in Norway

There are houses perched in what appears to be impossible places, and while some map searching might show a road just out of sight traveling between the mountains, that would kill the mystery, so I’ll just maintain my fantasy thoughts that a speedboat delivers visitors to the water’s edge, and they hike up the cliffside with their backpacks stuffed with food while their water is taken from one of the two waterfalls on their left and right.

Nærøyfjord in Norway

There’s some uncertainty here, but I think we are passing the point where the Sognefjord, Aurlandfjord, and the Nærøyfjord meet. Sognefjord is the main fjord and the longest in Norway, as I already pointed out in a previous post.

Nærøyfjord in Norway

While I can’t swear to it, this view should be looking south to Gudvangen on the Nærøyfjord, which translates to Narrow Fjord and is the world’s narrowest fjord.

Nærøyfjord in Norway

Leading up to prepping the photos for this day that had us spend a couple of hours in the quiet of the fjord on our way to our next destination, Caroline tried reassuring me that, compared to the lengthy blog posts so far in this trip, this one would undoubtedly be shorter. How many photos could there be worth sharing, considering we moved through a relatively short length of the landscape? I ended up with 20 photos chosen from the roughly 250 I shot between Flåm and Gudvangen, and upon asking her which ones she’d cut, well, here we are, and I’m struggling to write to them all.

Laegdafossen on Nærøyfjord in Norway

This is the 1,263rd waterfall we’ve seen in the past few days and not just any waterfall, it is the Laegdafossen.

Nærøyfjord in Norway

“Hey wife, you thinking what I am?” We were on the same channel; another pølse (hotdog) with crispy onion was on her mind, too, and even after sharing our second hotdog, we were “joking” that we could both see a third in our future. Who knew that Norway does hotdogs and does them perfectly?

Approaching Dyrdal, Norway

When God/Muhammad/Buddha made the earth, Half Dome was placed in Yosemite National Park in California and then, over in Norway, Half Dome 2.

Dyrdal, Norway

Welcome to the idyllic hamlet of Dyrdal, which claims to have been around in some form for approximately 2,000 years. At one time, the area up the valley was being farmed; today, there are no longer any working farms, but the area is quite popular, judging from the number of people who got on board, including a larger group of young hikers.

Nærøyfjord in Norway

Our time moving through the Nærøyfjord World Heritage Park had a sad and tragic element that was only understood after we returned to Arizona, and that is we’ll likely never be back in this corner of our planet where there are dozens of things, places, and activities we’d enjoy experiencing.

Nærøyfjord in Norway

Is anyone else picking up on the Kauai, Hawaii vibe?

Nærøyfjord in Norway

Remember that idea of sharing a third hotdog with crispy onions? I emphasize these onions because we are convinced that they are the secret sauce that elevates Norwegian pølse to the heights of yumminess we’ve not witnessed before. Anyway, if we are going to find time for this indulgence, we’d better act now as time is quickly running out because we are soon to arrive in Gudvangen.

Styvi Fergeleie on Nærøyfjord in Norway

The stuff we can learn if we are persistent can be serious fun, such as finally stumbling upon the history of Styvi (above) as a leg on Den Kongelege Postveg (The Royal Post Road) and how mail and farmers in the area moved from here down the fjord to the narrowest point at Bleiklindi (the pale linden tree a.k.a., the basswood in the U.S.) across from Bakka, the village we’d be walking out to from Gudvangen later. Kristin Ese is the author of the article I read, and a list of her writings can be found here should you be looking for information about the history of the area.

Attention Caroline: should you follow the link to https://encyclopedia.fylkesarkivet.no/, you will become lost for days and beg me that we should return to the Vestland of Norway. Don’t click on it; just don’t.

Village of Bakka near Gudvangen on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

While of a dramatically different type of environment, I can’t help but have a sense of the Grand Canyon with the steep cliffsides reaching down to the water; obviously, there are significantly different shades of green, and the water is perfectly calm here on the fjord. This is the northern end of Bakka.

Near Gudvangen on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Had I only known everything, I might say I’d wish that we had invested more time exploring the area of Sognefjord and all of its arms, but the truth is, we’ve been enjoying every place we’ve visited, and I don’t think I’d change a thing. In any case, this immersion of learning yet more about where we’ve traveled certainly draws me in to explore firsthand the points between that there wasn’t enough time to visit on this trip.

Gudvangen Fjordtell in Gudvangen, Norway

You can be certain that the upgrade to the Viking-themed room here at the Gudvangen Fjordtell wasn’t a gift because Oden or Thor were smiling upon us but because our bank was able to perform the proper currency exchange for us to pay for a night under animal skins.

Kjerrskredsfossen seen from Gudvangen, Norway

Across from our lodging in the distance is the Kjerrskredsfossen. Mind you that I didn’t tell you that this is the Kjerrskredsfossen waterfall because “Fossen” is Norwegian for “waterfall,” and if I did call it that, it would be like saying “ATM machine,” which is a silly redundancy. Between us and that waterfall no one has ever been able to pronounce is a Viking Village that, this late in the season, looks too sad for us to spoil a day visiting, but there was a gas station where, on a mission to graze, we picked up a bratwurst sprinkled with the fairy dust crispy onions, but it sadly paled in comparison to the godhead level of pølse on the cruise over.

Nærøyfjord in Norway

With our wiener, I mean brat, in hand, we sat down at a picnic table offering us this view right here. At 64 pleasant degrees (18 Celsius), we were at risk of becoming stuck and lying down right here for a quick nap. Just as we were beginning to struggle, a lady dressed in Viking attire approached our bench and struck up a conversation. She explained that there would be a feast at the Viking village later and that she hailed from Latvia. Her strong accent made it difficult to understand her intentions. Was she here to drag us over to the village, or was she just making small talk? At some point, she played a tune on a mouth harp, which made us wonder if we were supposed to tip. As she was getting the idea that we were not interested in the Viking Village (which may or may not be a tourist trap), our determination to seize all the moments won out, and we headed out on a walk to help close out the day.

Fika in Gudvangen, Norway

You know how your intention may direct you one way, but distraction pulls you in another? Well, you might think from this image you know what came next, but what actually happened was that Caroline wanted to visit the gift shop at our hotel, and good thing that we did because she found a souvenir for herself (that wasn’t made of yarn, mind you). It was a small Viking ship tea candle holder for her desk. Speaking of work, she also grabbed an axe-wielding Viking figurine for one of her bosses.

We were on our way when a cafe jumped into our path and whispered, “Hey, what about that nap you considered? I have the cure in a cup of coffee.” The proverbial one thing leading to another gripped us, and before we knew it, we were sitting down for a fika that included a cinnamon roll for me and a raspberry yogurt layer cake for Caroline. At the center of the setup, you might be able to make out the Viking ship candle holder. What the hell is wrong with me? A bucket of emotional fragility is spilling over me as the French hit Voyage Voyage from Desireless starts to play here in the cafe. It whipped me right back to 1986 when it was a #1 hit across Europe. Now I want to take a listen to Mylène Farmer’s – Désenchantée. When these songs came out, I wasn’t particularly enamored with them, but they were impossible to avoid due to their popularity. What strikes me hardest is the peculiarity that I’m so familiar with these songs as an American because this speaks to the incredibly unique opportunities I’ve been afforded.

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

After our experience with the menace that discharges from cruise ships, there’s a sense of wanting to leave in case a load descends on Gudvangen. Knowing that tourists are the least likely to venture from a chair, we feel safe taking an 8-kilometer (5 miles) roundtrip walk to an old church and the narrowest spot on the fjord.

Ferry on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

While it’s not a big load of people coming into town, we’ll be well gone when they disembark and do whatever it is they intend to do. You have to admit that there is at least a passing similarity with the S.S. Minnow, right?

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

What deformation processes were at work in folding these? We cannot say, seeing we are not geologists, nor was there any signage that could have described what was going on with the strata. This is a shame because I’m certain that everyone must be as curious as we are.

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

This is turning out to be one of the greatest walks along a fjord we’ve ever taken. True, it’s only our fourth walk next to a fjord, or maybe our fifth. Or could it even be the sixth?

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Unnamed waterfall next to the trail to Bakka with a blue banana on the right for scale. There was also a blue plastic giraffe nearby we left undisturbed, but the same can’t be said about the raspberries telepathically inviting us to carry them away, preferably in our tummies, which we obliged them with.

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Who doesn’t love a moss-and-lichen-covered rock fall and dream of having one at home? Others might want a pool, jacuzzi, or BBQ island; I want this right here in our living room, minus whatever creepy crawlies might be nesting in cracks and crevices.

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Can you see what you might not first notice when seeing this photo? Sure, there are two people in that kayak paddling on the calm waters of this beautiful fjord, but if you look in the shadows, you should see the reflection of a waterfall.

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Trying to remember that the world is not only made of rocks, water, moss, and sappy French pop music, I must look past the trees to find the forest.

Trail to Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Okay, maybe it is mostly waterfalls and rocks here in this area of Norway.

Village of Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Better to have arrived in Bakka in shadow than to have never arrived at all.

Village of Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Seriously, how can a place be this idyllic? Is using the word idyllic twice in one post even allowed by the Governing Body of Blog Writers International?

Village of Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Drive Slow – Children Playing.

Bakka Church on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

This is why we are in Bakka: to see the Bakka Church. It’s not especially old; there are no historical events of note to remember the place by; it didn’t replace a 1000-year-old stave church or a pagan site used by Vikings. It’s just a regular church – except this one is on Nærøyfjord.

Bakka Church on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

I was certain by this time that we’d be the only visitors, but when we started to enter the church grounds, a French couple drove up. Most of our hiking trail was the old, crumbling, somewhat precarious road between Gudvangen and Bakka, right by the water’s edge that car traffic bypasses in a tunnel, but after that tunnel, we were walking on that road along with a couple of cars that were coming or going. It took me a moment to find the light switch, but I’m not the one to be shy about making myself at home, though I refrained from playing the organ.

Bakka Church on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

When one looks into the majestic from day to day, one often loses sight of the magnitude of what one should be seeing. We’ve known this behavior through many encounters during our travels and even have been part of the shortsightedness ourselves. We end up romanticizing what’s likely ordinary to those who live in such a place and imagine that if the environment is so intoxicating to us, this would be the perfect place to live, but how certain is that? I’m sure that for those who live in warzones, drug-addled neighborhoods, abject poverty, or incarceration, that would be true, but how long before we normalize a place, find the issues that drive others away, or begin to romanticize the next place on the map?

In Bakka at the narrowest point on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

This is the point in Bakka where I believe the Bleiklindi (the pale linden tree) once stood, and people crossed the frozen fjord with their custom-made boats modified with sled rails to handle an icy, slushy, or watery crossing.

Caroline Wise leaving the village of Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Guard Kitty, protector of Bakka, ensuring that those who visit don’t forget to leave, escorted us to the edge of town. He watched us a good long time to ensure we went on our way. At first encounter, he didn’t seem to have the best of humor, so we went in peace…after a few head scratches. Okay, I’ll come clean: there was nothing guard-like about this fluffy chunk of love. I wish we could have taken him with us as he seemed to want to come with us because he followed our every step from the white house in the background.

Leaving the village of Bakka on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Like the yellow-brick road, except every direction delivers us to Oz.

A steer on the trail to Gudvangen on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

Would you believe this is a furry unicorn sporting dual horizontal horns? Neither did Caroline, but not from a lack of trying to convince her, nor would she mount up after I insisted it was perfectly safe. Not included in this photo are the three cows from this guy’s harem that approached Caroline with curiosity, but at the moment one of them was about to get a head scratch and Caroline a sloppy licking, the girl got spooked and leaped away in the way only a cow can leap, which triggered my wife to also begin evasive maneuvers.

On the trail to Gudvangen on the Nærøyfjord in Norway

The window of infinite grace that shines brightly in the day is giving way to the world of the infinite dream, where darkness lures us to sleep and to the place where memories are collected, refined, or disposed of.

Sunset over the Nærøyfjord in Gudvangen, Norway

Dinner was an outdoor affair of fish, fjord, and the setting sun. Time to collect our impressions and head off for dreams of Vikings in our Viking room.

Biking and Sauna in Flåm, Norway

Myrdal, Norway

Nowhere to go from here but down. Our day began 2,843 feet below us with a great breakfast at our hotel that included all the bread, rolls, locally cured meats, cheese, fish, yogurt, granola, and, of course, beans, sausages, bacon and eggs for that part of the crowd who need what they know. The Flåmsbana that brought us out of the mountains yesterday is the same train taking us right back up, not for us to continue our journey on to Bergen as many others will be: we have a couple of bikes reserved, along with two box lunches for the trek straight back to where we just left. Later today, we will have traversed this slice of Norway with three different perspectives: train down on a sunny day, train up on a cloudy morning, and a walk/bike ride down on a day transitioning to a mix of clouds and sun. Essentially, we got it all.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

On the Flåmsbana up to Myrdal, I was a bit distracted from taking photos by our conversation with a couple from Australia. She was 75, and her husband was approaching 80. They were at the end of a five-week vacation that took them from Down Under to New York City to board a ship that would take them over the Atlantic to Greenland, a circumnavigation of Iceland, all the way up to Svalbard before traveling down the coast of Norway that was now complete. After the ride to Myrdal, they would continue by train to Oslo, where they would start their long flights home. The lady shared that she and her husband agreed that after this 5-week-long adventure, they might only have one more intense journey left in them as they were contending with the difficulties that their bodies weren’t cooperating with them and their expectations. The lesson is obvious: we never know when our ability to exert ourselves is passing and when or where we’ll encounter that moment of disappointment when the realization sets in that pushing against our limits is over.

We hadn’t quite moved 50 feet down the trail before I was already stopping in need of taking an establishing shot of nature to better demonstrate where this bike ride was beginning. You could say that we were happy with the gloomy, overcast sky because the weather forecast called for a 66% chance of rain out here today. However, other than a couple of very minor sprinkles, we did not get rain of any appreciable amount. Good thing, too, since we inadvertently had left the ponchos back at the hotel, subconsciously understanding that if they were with us, we’d have needed them.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Twenty-one kilometers (13 miles) are still ahead of us, but that’s okay; we’re just starting out, and it’s still early.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

No, seriously, Caroline, we’ll get going as soon as I grab this shot because if it’s raining later and we don’t have any photos, we’ll be remiss that earlier, when we could have captured these mediocre sights, we passed them by.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

I know that I said just that photo, but give me a break. You obviously didn’t see the flowers on the right and if we miss these, we could go the entire day without seeing a splash of vibrancy, considering the dullness of the sky that is working hard to ruin our attitude. As a photographer, I demand proper sun, so the vibrancy of our images always conveys that our life is perfect every day.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Knowing beforehand that the first part of our trail is rather steep, with hairpin turns in which a miscalculation in time and space could launch us into injury or worse, and since death at this time in our lives is the least preferred next step, we dismounted our bikes and were ready for the walk down.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

The truth is that we’d have preferred not to have rented bikes at all and that we’d be walking the entire 21 kilometers between Myrdal and Flåm, but at 5:30 p.m., we have a reservation for something we’d never want to miss. As a bike ride, this route is supposed to take about an hour, but we were well-prepared to break that record in the opposite direction, and the only question was, how long we could stretch out the time in order to arrive back in town as close to our appointment as possible.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Maybe I could have taken more photos from the train yesterday when the sun and blue sky contributed so much to the landscape that finding enchantment in the journey overwhelmed the sense of trying to capture it better than I did. To lament what might be missing visually, though, would miss the point of being out here: to simply experience a long, slow moment of feeling, smelling, touching, and being in this rarified place few of us will ever travel through, especially at a pace that allows the senses to linger in the expanse and simultaneous intimacy.

Caroline Wise on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Are you happy, Caroline? “I’m infinitely happy on spectrums of that feeling that even this smile will never convey. Only someone who’s known me for 30 years or more might have an inkling of what this means to me, maybe somebody like you, John.”

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

“Do you love me, John?” That sense of togetherness that draws us closer is like this waterfall, where the water molecules are inextricably linked, becoming the very definition of what this fluid is and how it flows through nature. We are that love that flows with one another through the nature of our lives as though this were the only way our existence is allowed to be present during our lifetimes.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

“Are you tired of letting this heavy bicycle drag us along?” The two of us had already smiled at one another countless times before we reached this point on the trail. Had we been riding along, our attention would have been focused on remaining safe instead. The concentration required to negotiate these tight curves would have deprived us of reveling in the moments where we were able to exclaim the love that powers our smiles and draws us closer to reaching out and touching the other in order to verify that all of this is real.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Real it is and nearly as solid, luscious, soft, and gorgeous as the moss that grows on rocks locked in the symbiotic relationship that is inescapable to these two elements next to the trail and the two people on it.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

“John, let me ask you, do you think all of this might have been created for us and that the people who race past us fail to absorb the little things that create bigger things? Or do they speed through only knowing they did a thing?” Well, Caroline, we not only possess the ability to move glacially, allowing the carving of deep impressions out of our experience in places such as this, but the interpretations that we share with each other of what might have been overlooked will create a situation where we’ll understand we didn’t just do a thing but that we are creating a new universe from the one that’s been crafted for us. I have to wonder if there are others whose sensitivities demand that without intense, slow scrutiny of the world, they, too, question the reality of it all.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Are these iterations of the same thing we’ve been examining, or are our shifts in perspective granting us special observational powers to see more?

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Funny how the same thing doesn’t appear the same when mere inches are added to or removed from the vantage point.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

As scenic as the views are from the Flåmsbana train on its perch high up on the canyon wall and with its relative breakneck speed of about 27 km/h (17 mph), the granular details available to those who can travel by foot at a speed of barely 2 km/h (1.25 mph) open scenic views in ways unimaginable on that railed rocketship.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

To paraphrase Bruce Lee: Be like water making its way through cracks…adjust to the object…and allow yourself to flow.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

The majority of these images fail to convey what we actually saw and experienced, but they are the only visual representation I have to approximate any semblance of all of the sights. As for these words, they feel like hackneyed and trite platitudes that scramble to convey something meaningful about the intensity of our experiences but mostly fall short. I am left to feel like a charlatan drowning in imposter syndrome, but I don’t know what else to do or say that will illuminate our memories should they grow weak.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Not only did we eat these wild raspberries, but we also ate all the other ripe ones we could find, and let me tell you, there were many. They were obviously all for us since nobody else stopped. I don’t even believe the other cyclists could have seen these little red treasures of good fortune as they flew by in a blur. Yummy trail delicacies picked by the person who loves you can only be enhanced by them delicately placing one between your lips while laughing at those on bikes who don’t even have the curiosity to ask what we are doing.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Ah, now I better understand the relationship between the train and what we are witnessing. They are way over there, and we are all the way over here where all the really amazing stuff is. If the passengers only knew what they were missing for the sake of convenience.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Wait a second, are we going in the wrong direction? Haven’t we already passed this cascade?

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

That’s right; your eyes are not deceiving you. We will be eating raspberries under the sun next to cascades, waterfalls, and streams while wildflowers sing and dance for the trolls hidden in places we cannot find. This is Norway, after all.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Listen to their song as they perform for the Huldra, too.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

It might be difficult to make out, but this is a village for trolls camouflaged as a bunch of mossy rocks; I know this to be fact, as a forest spirit told me so.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Whoa, this is a first in the history of Earth! NOBODY has previously witnessed this exact configuration of water flowing around these rocks, but we were here and saw it with our own eyes, even capturing the moment of uniqueness to share with others.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

We are no longer walking the bikes as we are well past the switchbacks of death but are stopping frequently because taking photos while riding bumpy gravel paths doesn’t work out very well.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

I hope that sharing so many images of this small section of the Rallarvegen would convince you that something like this would be strenuous and outside your comfort zone, so if we should ever be so lucky to visit again, we would be out here by ourselves once again, able to eat all the raspberries and listen to the rushing water all by our lonesomes.

Caroline Wise on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Caroline asked me to inform you that she is not taking a pee; she’s a woman, after all, and must squat. So what is she doing over there? My wife sometimes gets these weird ideas that there’s this perfect spot to get the optimal view of something that essentially looks the same from my perspective 10 feet away. I should admit that there are times when I get these really cute shots of her rear end (ihr Po) due to this arrangement, but I don’t share them here, they are only posted on her OnlyFans site she doesn’t know about.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

I often hear from people seeing the photos that accompany these writings that they are surprised by how nice they look, meaning that they are picking up something or other from what inspired me at the time to capture the scene. They arrive at our photos from a perspective of unfamiliarity with what I’m sharing with them, so they don’t pick up on the emotional context, sense of friendship, love, and sharing that Caroline and I felt when these memories were made. After picking the photos that speak best to what lingers in our mind’s eye, I embark on an attempt to write something that will offer the reader a sense of what we experienced by moving through such a journey of impressions.

And then there’s the phenomenon that these specific images when viewed on a future blog visit, will replay something from deep within our heads in a nearly pixel-perfect reflection of our most distant memories. Glancing at an old photo, we feel a familiarity with the particular light, color, warmth, and framing that is missing in other images of the same scenery that we didn’t capture, meaning if I see images of the exact location, they do not speak to me as much as my own. Combine those visual perceptions with what I try to find in writing, and you might start to understand my wish is to create a kind of multi-sensorial capsule that adds some small amount of context from the time when we were making these experiences so we can relive our greatest hits again and again.

Tunnel on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

We’ve christened this the Tunnel of Love because we kissed in a dark corner, out of view of the crowds trying to witness our affection.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

What has anything you’ve ever seen meant to you? Was it so meaningful that you never wanted to part with the memory? I write about rocks, trees, water, birds, insects, fish, animals, people, my wife, the sky, trails, oceans, food, music, thoughts, caves, snow, Europe, America, idiots, inspirations, and random moments, because it seems to be that life, in general, is meaningful. To those of you buying homes, amazing cars, big TVs, having children, and going on once-in-a-lifetime vacations, how is it that you don’t have even an hour, a week, or a month to share your success story with the world to inspire others? Instagram and TikTok are not avenues for stories that include the soul of feelings, though there are some funny clips and inspirational images.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

But who am I to talk? I’m like this moss here: my thoughts take a long time to accumulate; you’ll have to look at it a long time and study it if are to see and understand everything that’s going on here and who in their right mind would consider moss and granite to be a sexy thing one could be quickly influenced by? I thus fail as an influencer on so many levels. I’m not handsome (except to Caroline), I’m not built of the right proportions, meaning I’m obese (including in the eyes of Caroline), I wear none of the accouterments of cool such as piercings, gauges, tattoos, sunglasses, fashionable hair or clothes, on-brand sports gear, hats with the proper loyalty advert, or drive a car anyone would envy. I’m like the rhizoids that anchor moss to the earth, but instead of providing water and minerals to the leaves and stems, I’m providing a record of the connections that anchored people to their imaginations and gave them reasons to venture further in their journey.

Berekvam Station on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Time for a break from this long journey out of the mountains, through the forest, and down to the sea. We are stopping at Berekvam Station on the Flåmsbana rail line to sit down and have lunch.

Lunch at Berekvam Station on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

A few days ago, while in Oslo, I shared a photo of a sign for the Freia Company and hinted that the company would play a part in our vacation; this is it. Those red, yellow, and green packages that read, “Kvikk Lunsj” are KitKat-like, only better, treats that would have been the sunshine of our day had the actual sun not come out to brighten these lands. By capturing this photographic still life at the picnic table next to the rail stop while riding down a mountain to a fjord, I captured a moment that helps define our day. While this image alone could easily bring parts of the journey back, I’m still happy that there are 3,165 other posts and thousands of photos before this one that exist, leaving the two primary readers of this blog smiling at our big adventures that also include simple things.

John's new socks on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Speaking of things that exist and come into existence, this is the first day I’m wearing my newest pair of handmade socks. The yarn likely was purchased in Oregon, to the best of Caroline’s recollection. I shared a photo a week ago while we were on the train from Lund to Gothenburg, Sweden, that shows her working on this very pair, just finishing the heel, and it was well on its way to joining the other couple of dozen of Love Socks that have been knitted exclusively for me.

John Wise and Caroline Wise on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

It’s not every day we get to take a selfie at a rail crossing with bikes, but when we do take such a photo, it’s only ever been in Norway.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

How long has this monolith stood in the flow of the river? How much bigger was it a couple of thousand years ago when people were wandering through the area? While out here, we’ve not seen a sign of wildlife, nor was anyone fishing these waters, but knowing that agriculture came later to Norway, starting at the bottom of the country and traveling north over centuries, the hunter-gatherers in this area obviously had to be to sustain themselves but on what? Is the area depleted of those resources? Had only someone been keeping a blog back in 15 A.D., we might have answers. Heck, what’s wrong with the current residents not offering us a detailed overview of the flora and fauna and how it’s evolving?

Goat on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Hello Ms. Goat, resting by the trail, might you have some tasty children for us to sample? If you think I’m making some oblique reference to a Norwegian folk tale, you’d be wrong, as little did I know when taking this photo that in less than two hours, Caroline and I would be chomping on a kid.

On the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

Upon arriving in the Flåmsdalen Valley, the Aurlandsfjord might already be within sight if we were drones flying down from Myrdal, but being humans utilizing bicycles to propel us, we’ll just have to wait to see the fjord. Plus, we are not in a hurry for this awesome long walk/ride to come to an end.

Rjoandefossen on the Rallarvegen between Myrdal and Flåm, Norway

This is the Rjoandefossen (Rjoande Waterfall), which I believe is the second closest waterfall to the village of Flåm, about 5 kilometers (3 miles) away. For a sense of scale, this section of the waterfall is 140 meters (460 feet) tall. The closest waterfall is the Brekkefossen only 2.5 kilometers (1.5 miles) away.

Flåm Church in Flåm, Norway

Flåm Kyrka closed today for a funeral. At one time, there was a stave church here, but by 1670, it was long gone, replaced by this church.

Flåm Church in Flåm, Norway

What will we do now that we’ve missed visiting the interior of this historic church during what was likely a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?

Caroline Wise at Huldra Husflid in Flåm, Norway

The answer is yarn shopping, of course. Caroline thought this was a gift shop. I don’t know how she missed that on the sign by the door that it is a yarn store, but I caught it. Not in 152 years would we have guessed it were possible that something like this could exist in a village of 350 but here it is, Huldra Husflid og Kunsthandverk. It might as well have been the work of the Huldra (Forest Spirit) that materialized this little miracle here as gratitude for the people who tried to take time to understand, contemplate, and feel the environment we traveled through today. The yarn in the bags were kits that included wool, as seen in front of Caroline, that comes from Otternes Farm, which we visited yesterday. Life is magic.

Food stand in Flåm, Norway

For only $18 a burger, you, too, can eat a kid, as we did. Of course, we shared one because spending a gazillion dollars on local yarn limited our pleasure budget. Not only that, but the next big adventure pre-drained the bank account upon making the reservation.

Fjord Sauna in Flåm, Norway

After a coffee at the hotel, we mosied on over to the right side of the fjord, where a couple of floating saunas are moored. I had meant this to be a big surprise for Caroline, but I couldn’t help but share that I’d made the reservation while we were still in Arizona because I was just too excited to sit on that. Regarding my comment about the bank account, I opted for the private sauna session so we wouldn’t embarrass ourselves with our total lack of knowledge about sauna etiquette; we are shy that way. Should one be interested in a shared sauna experience, it’s only about $35 for a 90-minute session. For the Fjordsauna to be yours alone, that will cost you about $240, but how many opportunities does one have to sauna at sunset on a fjord in a UNESCO World Heritage Site?

Caroline Wise at Fjord Sauna in Flåm, Norway

There’s a trapdoor and ladder that allows us to quickly dip into the fjord to cool off from the 70 Celsius (158 Fahrenheit) steamy eucalyptus-scented air in which we are sweating. I can’t explain just how, but this experience on the fjord is impressively different from our first sauna encounter in Oslo, and the whole thing is a dramatically better moment in the heat that kills our desert temperatures in Arizona. This method of familiarizing yourself with the 13 Celsius (55 Fahrenheit) temperature of the fjord in privacy is dignified because there were no witnesses to my whining about the ice water I was dipping into. Of course, this wasn’t an issue for my tough wife, who womaned up and just got in.

Caroline Wise swimming in Aurlandfjord at Fjord Sauna in Flåm, Norway

After our sauna in Oslo that was only 50 Celsius (122 Fahrenheit), I thought we’d be lucky to enjoy 30 minutes of saunaing, but after cooling off so quickly in the fjord, stepping back into the steam treatment was a pleasure. Caroline did not have to swim out from the trapdoor; we had a deck from which we could jump off or use a ladder to step in gingerly. Caroline opted for the latter, but she at least had the guts to swim out. My reaction to the cold was too debilitating for me to trust, letting go of a hold in case I should pass out or lock up in a shiver of panic. Not only did she take a couple of swims, but she had to effectively pose for me until I got the perfect photo.

Sauna Master Lukáš Hajas in Flåm, Norway

Meet Sauna Master Lukáš, the person who offered the instruction and encouragement that ensured that our 90 minutes in the sauna were nothing short of perfect. His coordination to deliver perfect conditions on the fjord, free of rain and wind, with just the right amount of blue skies filled with dramatic clouds, allowed us to find enchantment in the Norwegian sunset, the alignment of the stars. We are full of appreciation for this incredibly friendly guy who, with an excellent sense of hospitality, gave two strangers a world-class experience that will forever live in their hearts. Yep, it was Slovakian Sauna Master Lukáš Hajas who made dreams come true on this day, a giant among Sauna Masters. Thanks, Lukáš for being a mensch.

Aurlandfjord at Fjord Sauna in Flåm, Norway

All of a sudden, the expense of the day became a bargain as the rarity of such an experience wasn’t lost on us. I don’t believe there was a thing I’d change to enhance a single second we experienced on this Thursday, but then again, the day wasn’t over yet. I nearly forgot to mention that Lukáš added emphasis on our good luck because back in July, visitors were being inundated by rain for 28 days in a row, which put a damper on summer activities. Yay, let’s celebrate beautiful skies, as not everyone gets them.

Ægir Bryggeri in Flåm, Norway

Before entering Ægir Bryggeri (Aegir Microbrewery), we dined next door at Flåmsbrygga Hotel. There was nothing extraordinary about dinner, but then came dessert and a nice conversation with our server, Jose from Chile. A brown goat cheese (you might remember the Brunost we had in Oslo) was the basis for a pannacotta topped with cloudberries, yum! Chatting with our server, we brought up the music and got to discussing Los Prisioneros, a famous Chilean band, and it turned out that this young guy loved them and put the track Tren Al Sur into the restaurant playlist. Dinner became nearly surreal here in Norway as we were listening to Los Prisioneros from Chile.

Oslo All Day

Oslo, Norway

So far, during our stay in Scandinavia, breakfast has been included in the cost of our room, but not today. For the two of us, we were looking at about $55 for the hotel buffet, and while we were assured that everything on it was organic, it was a bitter pill. We headed towards our bus stop, figuring we’d find a bakery, and were proven right. Occupying a couple of stools in the front window, we sat down to share a pretzel croissant, a cream-filled pastry, and a slice of pizza, along with a couple of coffees for only $13 or 140 Norwegian Kroner. Our view offered us the opportunity to watch Oslo going to work and school on foot, scooter, and bicycle. There are a lot of electric cars and e-bikes on these streets, too. Lots of women are wearing dresses, far more than I ever see in the States, while men conform to the international business attire code of blue slacks, light shirts, and tan shoes, and maybe half of everyone carries a backpack. In the 30 minutes we spent grazing and people-watching, a licensed beggar sitting right in front of us with her back to the window did not see a single coin dropped in her cup. I point out that she’s licensed as beggars have to wear lanyards with their badge of authorization, a first for us.

Oslo, Norway

We were just across the street from our bus stop and are still getting used to the fact that pedestrians have the right of way and just keep moving when entering a striped crosswalk; cars will yield. If the intersection is controlled by walk/don’t walk signs, the public waits, although even those signs feel like mere suggestions. Once on the bus, signs asking for civility are strewn about, such as this one asking people to keep their feet off of the seats. Also, notice that USB connections are offered and that nothing is written or carved into the panels. Hey, America, are we animals?

Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

We’ve arrived out on the Bygdøy Peninsula and are early, which is perfectly økey døkey with us as we have some time to take in a different view of the Oslofjord on a perfect day. Who wouldn’t want to do exactly that?

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

Olav Bjaaland, Oscar Wisting, Roald Amundsen, Sverre Hassel, and Helmer Hanssen are memorialized here at the Fram Museum for their courage in being the first five men to reach the South Pole.

Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

There are five museums out here in Bygdøy, but one of the must-sees is currently closed until approximately 2026, which is unfortunate as they have the best-preserved and largest known Viking ship excavated from a burial site, the Oseberg Ship.

Caroline Wise standing in Oslofjord on Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

It was bound to happen at least once on this trip to the watery lands of the north, and with time to spare this morning, it seemed like a great time to kick off the shoes and step into Oslofjord. I have to wonder if anyone else’s feet in the history of humanity have bathed in so many diverse locations from around our earth as Caroline, who has stepped into the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, the North, Baltic, and Mediterranean seas, the Gulf of Mexico, and countless lakes and rivers including the majority of America’s biggest rivers.

Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

I found a mention of this being the Bygdøynes Light or maybe Lantern, with no other supporting information than a guess that it’s managed by the Norwegian Maritime Museum. Just after taking this photo, we dipped into that museum and snapped off a couple of images but were more excited to get into the Fram Museum next door.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

More wow on this trip, this time in the form of the wooden ship that delivered a crew to the Antarctic, allowing Olav Bjaaland, Oscar Wisting, Roald Amundsen, Sverre Hassel, and Helmer Hanssen to be the first five people to ever visit the South Pole. If you don’t know the story, here’s a quick synopsis: Roald Amundsen and his crew set sail in the summer of 1910 on the polar ship Fram for the Arctic, but when they reached Madeira, Portugal, the captain told his crew that they were, in fact, going to the Antarctic. They landed in January 1911 and, by mid-December of the same year, had reached the South Pole. A month before Robert F. Scott arrived, too late.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

The ship is packed with original gear and artifacts from the time of the expedition, except for this creepy guy, who I believe is a prop and not a mummified original crew member.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

Not only were we able to visit the deck, quarters, and galley, but also climbed nearly to the bottom of the hull. We peered into the engine room and were able to check out the storage areas with furs and other equipment that helped sustain the Norwegian explorers.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

With a windmill up on deck to generate electricity, the Fram was equipped with electric lights, which must have been a luxury.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

In 1935, it took more than two months to pull the ship onto dry land and its final resting place where the structure housing it was built. It was only in 2018 that further restoration work opened the crew quarters and other areas below deck to the visiting public. Right there in the center of the photo is the windmill that supplied the crew with electricity.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

The lighting of Fram left a lot to be desired, and while I’m sure my phone would have better captured the available light, the quality of those images is just too poor. A tripod would have helped, but rarely, if ever, are those things allowed into and onto historic exhibits, so my images are a bit on the dark side. As intrigued as we were seeing the Vasa over in Stockholm, this ship, too required us to capture what we could to memorialize the day we stood on her decks and were able to explore such a historic part of the age of polar exploration.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

It’s crazy to think that just about 110 years ago, the first people explored the South Pole via a wooden boat without a two-way radio, and today, we deploy solar-array powered space telescopes orbiting the sun a million miles from Earth. The engine on the Fram had about 700 horsepower, while the Ariane 5 rocket that launched the James Webb Space Telescope had the equivalent of more than 3 million horsepower.  While Amundson’s crew was capturing black & white images in the equivalent of 8 to 10 megapixels compared to today, the James Webb telescope is sending us images that, after processing, can be as large as 123 megapixels. The tragedy that is apparent when I consider the progress we’ve made collectively is that the ship of humanity is listing while our tools have eclipsed the ability of our individual minds to rise to the occasion and propel our species into the future.

Fram Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

Fram, Norwegian for forward. It should be the motto of humanity instead of Frykt, Norwegian for fear. If you ask me, fear should be pronounced “Fukt.”

Kon-Tiki Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

This is the third museum we visited this morning; it plays host to the efforts of Thor Heyerdahl. The Kon-Tiki raft, made of balsa wood and other native materials, proved Heyerdahl’s theory that early explorers could have traversed the Pacific Ocean on such a raft just as he and five others did back in 1947. Regarding the specifics of his other controversial claims, I don’t rightly care as I was more fascinated by the details of their precarious journey that carried them on a 101-day, 4,300-nautical-mile (5,000-mile or 8,000 km) adventure over the vast ocean.

Kon-Tiki Museum on the Bygdøy Peninsula in Oslo, Norway

This is the other craft in the Kon-Tiki Museum, the Ra II papyrus boat, which carried Heyerdahl and six others across the Atlantic Ocean.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Done with yet another museum and onto the next, the Norwegian Folk Museum.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Similar to the Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden we visited less than a week ago, the folk museum looks at elements scattered across the history of Norway. Drawing from buildings and artifacts that could be moved out here to Bygdøy, these things were collected, rebuilt, and put on display in order to preserve parts of Norwegian history that would otherwise disappear.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

There are 160 buildings representing Norway from the past 500 years on display here, with many of them open for a visit. The ones that are locked up are likely open for visitation during the main tourist season. This also then has us asking if there are more people on hand in period clothes to help the buildings come to life…

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

…such as this old grocery store from Oslo announcing milk and delicatessen goods sold by this young lady at the counter.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

This was as far as we could go in the pharmacy, as it was like many of the exhibits, protected by a plexiglass barrier.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

A guided tour would have been great here as, aside from impressions, there’s not a lot to be learned, with signage being at a minimum.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Being present in these environments, even without a narrative, works for Caroline and me as once we’re home, we have the ability to discover more about the history of the people, art, architecture, culture, and politics with the experience of having been immersed in places where we gained some small amount of the sense of things and are now ready to contextualize what we are learning.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

The buildings here at the Norwegian Folk Museum are not recreations; they are authentic, and so I understand why they can’t really be put to work, but all the same, I can easily imagine a space where we could sit down for a meal set to some point a few hundred years ago. This is something that Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia does exceptionally well.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

I would be remiss if I forgot to share that Caroline had recommended that we pick up a couple of Oslo City Passes that paid for our transportation and museum entries for 24 hours; it turned out to be a great deal. If someone is visiting Oslo for a few days, the 72-hour city pass is an incredible bargain at only $80 for 35 museums, busses, trains, and even the public ferry.

This old farmhouse was once the home of the Lende family from Jæren, Sweden.

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Sadly, the City Pass didn’t convince the driver of the horsecart to let us get on board.

Stave Church at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Wow, an original stave church from the 1200s. This one was moved to Bygdøy from Gol, a couple of hundred kilometers north of Oslo, back in 1884.

Stave Church at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Somewhere in here is a stave with a rune that reads, “Kiss me because I struggle.”

Stave Church at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

These churches were Christian, though some of the imagery and forms evoke something pagan for me. As for the term stave church, the name is derived from the fact that the support structures are vertical posts and planks, known as staves. Considering that these medieval buildings were made exclusively of wood, we are lucky that even one of them survived the intervening 800 to 900 years.

Stave Church at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

I suppose this could negate my previous statement about being built exclusively of wood, but I hope you get what I meant, as it was not implied there were no iron flourishes here and there.

Fiber Arts at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary people, I now return you to that part of the story where the fiber arts are center stage again. These four straps are examples of backstrap weaving.

Fiber Arts at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

When one begins to understand the efforts made by our ancestors to create culturally unique clothing for pageantry, marriage, special occasions, or just to look one’s best, these clothes begin to take on extra significance, especially in contrast to the mass-market clothing that from certain perspectives reveal that it is only the rare individual who actually wears anything unique in our modern age.

Fiber Arts at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

I’ve often heard the argument that without a job, people would have no purpose; I’ve even heard this from women who deride the idea of being “just” a housewife or mother. First of all, mothering is the single most important thing half of humanity is capable of doing at some point in their lives. If Caroline had more free time, we’d have a coverlet handwoven by her, but to weave the length required and then sew them together is a Herculean effort, and that’s even before considering creating embellishments such as borders or fringes. The same applies to our clothes, hats, straps, pouches, bags, and other things that would benefit from flourishes of handcrafted beauty. Having free time, extraordinary amounts at times, allows us to discover and create greater meaning regarding many facets of our lives that we’d never discover otherwise, such as this incredible opportunity I indulge in by writing about the experiences shared by Caroline and me.

Fiber Arts at the Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

The Stradivarius violin has a reputation for being a work of art, but what of things like this well-worn loom with perfect lines and a hidden history of the cloth that was made thread by thread and possibly worn by someone of significance that impacted all of our lives?

Norwegian Folk Museum in Oslo, Norway

Who among us would have the skills to make a hand-carved wooden wine jug that wouldn’t leak? I’m guessing this vessel had something to do with drink and merriment as the two guys at the table have glasses in their hands while one is empty, awaiting the jug of drink. My first thought was how something like this was sealed from dripping away its contents, and good ‘ol artificial intelligence guru Claude offered me multiple ideas of how to accomplish such a thing, but I’m opting for a combo. Claude shared info about using precision-carved wood staves. The vessel sure does seem to feature those that would be bound by willow or metal bands, and while I don’t know if they are willow, they are certainly bounding bands that wrap the pitcher. I also learned about various substances that could be used to line the interior, and in my mind, I’ve settled on wax as being the most neutral for serving alcohol.

After our Norwegian Folk Museum experience, we were ready for more Norwegian nourishment and ate in the museum’s cafeteria before heading back to the city center.

Caroline Wise at Fru Kvist Yarn in Oslo, Norway

The availability of yarn in a city must be a measure of civility. For the second time in two days, here’s Caroline with yet more of the fluffy stuff, this time from Fru Kvist Yarn. By this fact alone, Oslo has become more and more sophisticated from our viewpoint, but then take into account that the skeins Caroline is holding are yak wool from Mongolia and undyed Norwegian yarn, and I think my wife is ready to call Oslo home.

Opera House in Oslo, Norway

It’s seven weeks since we stood here at the foot of Oslofjord and about five and a half weeks since we came home that I’m writing this post, and I’m yet to miss a day of doing such. As a matter of fact, writing actually intensified after our return because there was no sightseeing from within a Phoenix coffee shop while I tried to tease a cohesive narrative out of my notebooks and photos to create a lasting story that would remind Caroline and me of the many beautiful things and places we enjoyed during our time in Europe and specifically Scandinavia. I work relentlessly on this process since I’m afraid if I take a day off, I’ll lose momentum or forget to finish the trip (it’s happened before). And so, I turn to the coffee shop literally every morning without fail in order to channel my attention to hopefully discovering some tiny amount of finesse in describing experiences that have more or less been had by many millions by this time. Consider, though, that maintaining a bead on all things vacation leads to some serious tunnel vision and that there are times I wish to be someplace, any place else but here at the keyboard, exploring my mind for the possibility that I can discover an insight meaningful not just to us but others who might stumble on these posts.

The Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

The title of these posts from Oslo, Norway, would better be served with “Wrong Impressions of Oslo Cured By Destroying Misperceptions.” I can readily admit that I wasn’t exactly drawn into making a pilgrimage to a museum that could only be focused on the single piece of art that Edvard Munch is internationally known for. Everyone wants to see The Scream, and I honestly believed it was the only thing of his that was known. Of course, I was wrong, just as I’ve been about almost everything here in Oslo.

The Scream at the Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

Some forty or so years ago, when I first learned of this piece titled The Scream, I was enchanted by its sense of the apocalyptic, but in the intervening years, I grew bored of it as overblown media saturation, and its place in the meme foodchain removed its gravity. Seeing it in person is okay and satisfies the collection of cultural treasures experienced firsthand, but it’s smaller than I thought. Then we learn that each of the three versions on display is on a cycle that helps protect them from exposure to light, so if we want to see the most famous of them, it’ll be about an hour before it cycles back. We were fully prepared to have only seen this black-and-white version because what else did Munch do? To those of you who might not know, Munch is pronounced: “Moonk.”

Strindberg Portrait at the Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

NO WAY!!! I’ve known this portrait of August Strindberg since I bought my Penguin Classics copy of Inferno/From an Occult Diary, but I didn’t realize that it was painted by Edvard Munch.

Munch Portrait at the Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

I’ve also been aware of this portrait of the artist himself, but never once have I really considered the provenance. Not far from these portraits hangs a colorful portrait of German philosopher Friederich Nietzsche, which bears some slight resemblance to The Scream, except Nietzsche is on the other side of the bridge, and he’s not in the pose of a scream. I think that it’s a subtle nod that Nietzsche’s screams are from within and that he’s on the side of reality where losing one’s mind can still be salvaged.

The Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

In yesterday’s post, while writing about the Oslo Cathedral, I was pondering who influenced whom, while Caroline pointed out that the ceiling of the church was painted by Hugo Lous Mohr. Well, it was this painting here by Munch that raised the question.

The Scream at the Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

I honestly didn’t think we’d be around to see this version of The Scream, but here we are and have now seen all three.

The Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

On one of the floors of this large museum is an area where there are a number of carvings (based on a number of Munch pieces) embedded in a table. An ample supply of paper and wax pigments allows aspiring artists and others wanting to have fun to grab a seat and start rubbing images into the paper as a souvenir of their time at the Munch Museum. This was Caroline’s attempt at the art of frottage.

John Wise at the Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway

Self-portrait with seldom-seen hair out of ponytail.

The Mother at Inger Munch’s Pier in Oslo, Norway

This huge sculpture is called The Mother and was created by U.K. artist Tracey Emin, who was inspired by Munch to become an artist. This is a relatively new addition to Oslo prompted by local Norwegians who petitioned the city to build the location with access to swimming in the fjord during the earliest days of the COVID-19 epidemic. The reclaimed land was christened Inger Munch’s Pier after the youngest sister of Edvard Munch. I almost forgot to point out that even the Munch Museum is new and only opened in October 2021.

The Opera in Oslo, Norway

The idea of creating a giant public plaza sloping up from sea level to a viewpoint allowing visitors to look over the city, was a brilliant one. Caroline and I are on our way up.

The Opera in Oslo, Norway

By making the architecture of the opera accessible to Osloers and tourists alike, the building becomes incredibly familiar and personal, removing some of the sense of exclusivity that often is a part of the opera which is typically only visited by paying guests on performance days.

Caroline Wise at the Opera in Oslo, Norway

Now, the opera is available to everyone who wishes to create a kind of mini-performance piece where they are the actors with the city creating the soundtrack.

The white aluminum-clad exterior of the stage tower is meant to evoke old weaving patterns, which is likely part of the reason Caroline was compelled to reach out and touch it.

The Opera in Oslo, Norway

Time to put a mark on future travel plans to return to Oslo and gather a few other views from this remarkable building, but will we ever be so fortunate again to be treated to two consecutive beautiful days of perfect weather?

Caroline Wise at the Opera in Oslo, Norway

I could have hung out here from sunrise to sunset just to study the light and the flow of people as they become part of a story developing on the shore of Oslofjord. I now have so many questions about the construction of this plaza and a curiosity about what other buildings the architects might have contributed to.

Edvard Munch grave at Vår Frelsers Gravlund in Oslo, Norway

Vår Frelsers Gravlund (Cemetery of Our Saviour) is where you’ll find the gravesite of the man who will Scream no more, Edvard Munch. In another corner of the cemetery, you may visit the grave of Henrik Ibsen who’s not penned a play in more than 117 years.

Gamle Aker District in Oslo, Norway

From the cemetery, our path took us through the Gamle Aker District.

Oslo, Norway

For a brief moment, we thought we were entering a sketchy area where someone loves sluts, but just as quickly, we were back in the safe arms of a city with but a few smudges, as far as we could tell.

Oslo Street Food in the Torggata Bad building in Oslo, Norway

Not wanting to take anything for granted, how it worked out that we passed a dozen other places to eat before settling on the Oslo Street Food was a stroke of good luck that feels inexplicable that everything else didn’t strike a chord. This former home to Oslo’s largest indoor pool, called Torggata Bad, now hosts a multicultural selection of foods uncommon to the Norwegian palate. While the food court stops serving at 10:00 p.m. on weeknights, this place becomes a nightclub on weekends, open until 3:00, with the former pool area serving as the dance floor. It was on that pool floor where Caroline and I shared a tonkatsu don from Gohan and empanadas from De Mi Tierra.

After a short walk following dinner, we opted for a tram ride to the hotel as the extra mile felt impossible. The sauna had the same difficulty enticing us to step in as tired was overtaking us. Tomorrow, we will embark on another six-hour train ride, considered one of the most scenic on earth.

Norway, Here We Come

Stockholm Central Station, Sweden

We woke up within minutes before the alarm would have provided a waking nudge, still within the four o’clock hour. A little more than a half-hour later we arrived at the train station, pulling the suitcase of audible annoyance, and said goodbye to Stockholm. We picked up a little something or other for breakfast, figuring we’d be able to get more food in the cafe on the train should we get seriously hungry before our arrival in Oslo, Norway, at noon.

Breakfast on the train from Stockholm, Sweden

Oops, did I ever know that our 1st class ticket included breakfast? With no recollection of this luxury as part of our purchase so many weeks ago, we were pleasantly surprised when the steward came around handing out boxes that included a roll with ham and cheese, yogurt with a small packet of granola, apple juice, a slice of bread with butter, and milk for your coffee or tea.

About an hour east of Stockholm, Sweden

Riding the train at 200 km/h (125 mph) is a good metaphor for life as the world streams by and nothing can be grabbed. Fleeting moments might be captured if one is inclined to look outward but we’ll first have to look up from our routines or boredom to discover there are a great many wonderful impressions worth savoring. Meanwhile, many will remain on track following the dictates of habit, afraid to derail as the unknown arrives with fears and uncertainty.

Lake in Sweden next to the train route to Oslo, Norway

Look at those aboard the train with us; some sleep through the journey, while others apparently require social media to tolerate their time with themselves lest it lead to boredom, and a few appear to be working. Then there’s me looking into the treeline to catch sight of a wolf looking out at us. Passing fields, I hunt for hawks that have already accomplished the same and are feasting on their prey. Passing by a lake, I wonder if the fisherman has caught his.

We see a sign pointing to Sundsjön and think about what that place might be like, but it turns out the sign was for Västra Sundsjön, which is a lake. Fall is starting to show its colors, with yellow and gold leaves replacing the green ones that have been present all summer. The change of seasons has me considering sitting in the same place a few months from now when the landscape is blanketed with snow, but then I’m reminded how the warm bodies of us passengers are producing the kind of humidity that obscures the view with wet, foggy windows.

Passing over the Klarälven River in Karlstad, Sweden

I’ve searched far and wide for a glimpse of a moose, but other than on souvenirs, I’ve not seen a hint of them. Are we too far south? Traveling by train, I find my view quite limited if I try to look ahead and feel about the same if I try to see where we’ve come from. The point is that even when we are concerned with taking in what’s around us, our perspective will always be momentary and fractional of what the totality is. Leaving the vehicle while it’s speeding forward is not recommended, but as it does stop, will we be prepared to find spontaneity on occasion to venture into a place at once unfamiliar and uncertain to bring us into something profound?

In Karlstad, Sweden, we shift dimensions and modes of transport as the rest of our journey to Oslo, Norway, will be by bus, which will also slow significantly compared to the high-speed rail that got us this far. From peaceful quiet on the train, we transfer to the rambunctious chaos of the real world on a bus. I continue my search for wolves and moose while better than half of our fellow passengers have been lulled to sleep, judging by the awkward positions of their heads and the relative quiet that has settled in. If it weren’t for the 12 hours that would have been required to cover the 220 kilometers from Karlstad to Oslo, we would have been on bikes and able to stop here on the shore of the Klarälven River.

Border crossing between Sweden and Norway

We’ve reached the Norwegian border, next stop: Oslo.

Subway in Oslo, Norway

When we got into town, we wasted no time and headed straight to the subway train that would get us close to our abode for the next two nights: Guldsmeden Hotel Oslo.

Guldsmeden Hotel in Oslo, Norway

At check-in, we were given a pleasant surprise that our room had been upgraded to the bridal suite that not only had a big brass deep bathtub in front of our bed (that we’d not have time to use) but also came with a private sauna that we would acquaint ourselves with later this evening. However, with all of that blue sky smiling down on us outside, there was no time to luxuriate in our fantastic room, so we peeled ourselves away and got busy.

Royal Palace in Oslo, Norway

The plan, which is similar to other plans when arriving in a new city, was to get to the yarn store and get the fiber collection duties out of the way, but a funny thing happened on the way. We were walking up Parkveien, the same street we were staying on, when we saw a big park that also featured a large royal palace we could detour around, and seeing we were early, we’d not miss our real destination by taking a moment for sightseeing beyond the street we were traveling on.

Guard at the Royal Palace in Oslo, Norway

Hey Norway, while your royal guards carry weaponry that appears ready for deadly riots or combat compared to your Swedish cohorts and their simple rifles, you could learn a thing or two from the Swedes regarding uniforms, especially the headgear. Nothing says badass quite like a helmet with a chrome buttplug on it that inspires thoughts of the film Everything Everywhere All at Once.

Palace Park next to the Royal Palace in Oslo, Norway

Now finished with denigrating the Norwegian Royal Guard, we took a left through the park to see if we were now ready to avoid distraction.

Oslo, Norway

Whenever entering a new city, especially the capital of another country, we are keenly alert to what unique characteristics might define the architecture, lending a sense of what this nationality brings to this place.

Caroline Wise at Tjorven Yarn in Oslo, Norway

Witness this historic moment for yourself as Caroline, for the first time in her life is purchasing yarn in Norway. Should you think there must be a limit to this yarn acquisition madness, you’d be mistaken, as I’m fairly certain we have no less than 1,000 skeins of this stuff at home. I can already hear the whine from my drama queen wife, “But we didn’t have any from Tjorven yarn in Oslo, so this Drops brand is like me taking a part of Norway home with us…and shut up anyway, you know this sock yarn is all about you!”

Freia Chocolate in Oslo, Norway

Little did we know on this day how important the Freia company would become to us once we reached Myrdal, Norway, but that story will have to wait a few days.

Oslo Cathedral, Norway

I wonder how many visitors to this blog tire of our formulaic approach to visiting a city, from yarn store direct to a church, and today is no different as we are about to pay a visit to the Oslo Cathedral.

Oslo Cathedral, Norway

This is the 900-year-old Devil of Oslo, and while the Oslo Cathedral was only completed 326 years ago, in 1697, the carving of a man being attacked by a dragon and a lion was recovered from St. Hallvard’s Cathedral, Oslo’s original cathedral, from the 12th century. After a fire in 1624, St. Hallvard was abandoned and left to decay. While the ruin remains not too far away from here, this relic is now part of the wall of the “new” cathedral.

Oslo Cathedral, Norway

The Right Reverend Kari Veiteberg appears to be the first woman to ever hold the bishop title here in Oslo. Like so many other churches in the 16th century, this church broke away from Roman Catholicism to become an Evangelical Lutheran denomination, but it would take almost 500 years before a woman would take the helm.

Oslo Cathedral, Norway

This is one of the more peculiar paintings I’ve seen on the ceiling of a cathedral, and have to wonder if it’s not a bullseye maliciously painted on by the departing Catholics as a target where God should aim his vengeance for the Norwegians joining the Reformation or maybe it’s a new age relic from the 1970s.

Oslo Cathedral, Norway

Who inspired whom? Are these ceiling paintings older than Edvard Munch, or did he take inspiration while at the cathedral? [Not sure who inspired whom, but the cathedral paintings are by Hugo Lous Mohr – Caroline]

The Storting is the Norwegian Parliament in Oslo, Norway

This building is known as the Storting, which in English is the Norwegian Parliament. After learning just enough about Scandinavian history, it becomes apparent that “Storting” translates to big assembly as “Stor” is big and “Ting” is council or assembly meeting, which makes Storting an appropriate name for parliament.

Manhole cover in Oslo, Norway

Here we are once again encountering Saint Hallvard who turns out to be the main feature of Oslo’s coat of arms and features prominently on manhole covers across Oslo. Before becoming the patron saint of Oslo, Hallvard Vebjørnsson was just a 23-year-old man trying to defend an innocent young lady who’d been accused of theft when he was killed for his noble actions.

National Theater in Oslo, Norway

Almost as an homage, we had to visit the National Theater because not only did Henrik Ibsen collaborate in the founding of it, but there’s also a great statue of him here; you’ll have to see that for yourself. I first learned of Ibsen from another author who mentioned some aspects of his writings in connection to the work of Friedrich Nietzsche, which introduced me to Ibsen’s work titled Peer Gynt, though it is but a distant memory these days.

National Theater in Oslo, Norway

The theater was closed, and this was as far as we were allowed in.

Part of the University of Oslo, Norway

P. A. Munch, as a statue, stands in front of the University of Oslo Faculty of Law. While he shared the same last name with his famous nephew, the artist Edvard Munch, P.A. was famous in his own right for what he brought to Norwegian national identity through his historical texts on medieval Norway. [In case anyone else is wondering – P.A. stands for Peter Andreas, but for some reason, he’s usually referred to by his initials. – Caroline]

Oslo, Norway

As far as I know, there’s nothing famous or very historic going on in this photo; it’s just a snap of a scene that was appealing to my eye. Maybe this is a good time to share some trivia about this city. The original name upon its founding in 1040 was Ánslo, but after a fire in 1624, the Norges at that time changed the name to Kristiania in honor of the king at the time of rebuilding. [Christian IV of Denmark, the same monarch who lived in Rosenborg Palace in Copenhagen – Caroline] Then, in 1925, the city was renamed again, this time to Oslo.

Philharmonic Concert Hall in Oslo, Norway

If there was any disappointment to any part of this Scandinavian adventure (and I assure you there has been none), it would be in some small part connected to venues such as this building known as the Oslo Konserthus (Concert Hall) where I couldn’t find a musical performance for us to take in. Of course, that might be a good thing as giving three to four hours over to sitting still when we could be on the go takes away other things.

Oslo, Norway

This is Akershus Castle. Although we would walk below it later, we would never make it into the old fortification as it’ll turn out that a mere day and a half in Oslo was a total underestimation of how long we should visit this city.

John Wise at Aker Brygge in Oslo, Norway

You all realize, don’t you, that this is symbolically a photo of Caroline and me? It is a Frankfurter there at about the same height Caroline von Frankfurt would be if she weren’t taking this photo of what, in reality, is John and a big spicey wiener. But metaphors and innuendos are more fun than just sharing that we were hungry and split this hot dog. I nearly forgot to add that somewhere else along the way over here, we stopped at a bakery and shared a skolebrød which is a sweet yeast roll with custard dusted in coconut. Caroline’s comment was she’s sticking to the cardamom rolls.

Aker Brygge in Oslo, Norway

This area is known as Aker Brygge, and it is C’est Chic with apartments that I’m guessing cost in the millions, and I don’t mean just as in Kroners. From the looks of things, it would appear that the city is giving itself more land by reclaiming space over the fjord, but this is just my uninformed opinion. While it would possibly great to spend the summer here, I’m skeptical about the short winter days when the sun rises at 9:18 and sets at 3:12, offering up less than six hours of sunlight, which I just can’t imagine.

Aker Brygge in Oslo, Norway

I’ve come to learn that we were incredibly fortunate during our visit to have two consecutive days of sunshine as Oslo only gets about 1,740 hours of sun per year compared to Phoenix, Arizona, where we get almost 3,900 hours of local starlight. Some other things to consider: the longest days in Oslo are longer than 22 hours, while in Phoenix, our longest days are only about 15 hours long. And then there’s the rainfall: it rains on average 172 days, which is better than Bergen, Norway which is where we’ll be this coming Saturday. Bergen sees 239 days of rain per year.

Inner fjord in Oslo, Norway

But today is a perfect day, as witnessed by the countless people lying in the grass or hanging out on the water.

John Wise and Caroline Wise at Aker Brygge in Oslo, Norway

This perfect late summer day even invited us to pull up a bench in the shadow of the Astrup Fearnley Museum to relax and watch birds pass overhead between us and the deep blue sky as we grew older and collected more wisdom. Sure, it’s a cliche but in those smiles, can you see that this pair of birds are perfectly paired? Because we can.

Aker Brygge in Oslo, Norway

We could have laid there for hours in cozy comfort, but the voice of reason called Caroline insisted we peel away, and she was right because, after tomorrow night, we’ll no longer have the opportunity for a stroll along the Oslofjord.

Aker Brygge in Oslo, Norway

I know that the last photo was not of the fjord, but I’m an equal opportunity lover of my best friend/wife/travel bestie to birds, architecture, churches, nice weather, great food, sailing ships, everything in nature, the hue of sky and sea, I’m ready to capture it all when it comes to reminding myself and Caroline of the smiles that adorned our faces.

Aker Brygge in Oslo, Norway

It was exactly the way this photo looks regarding the absolute quality of perfection that was going on during these hours of incredible.

City Hall Square in Oslo, Norway

Hey, all you youngsters, back in my day, fur-pie was still a thing, and shaving one’s body hair hadn’t yet become de rigueur. I have to laugh a bit when I consider that if this statue were being sculpted today, not only would the woman’s muff be smooth as brass, but she’d have some tats along with nipple and septum piercings.

Fishing at the harbor in Oslo, Norway

There have been a number of fishermen along the harbor but this one here seems to have caught all the mackerel that might be had in these fjord waters today.

Vippa Restaurant at the harbor in Oslo, Norway

Strolling was the proper word to describe our walk along the fjord, slow and lingering until we could go no further.

Dinner at Fenaknoken in Oslo, Norway

And then, we stumbled into Fenaknoken gourmet grocery store and restaurant, of sorts. We were greeted by one of the gentlemen who was sitting outside with friends, having a bite to eat. That man was Eirik Bræk, the proprietor and amazing chef at this difficult-to-pronounce shop. Initially, he offered us a bunch of the raw fish in the front display, and we explained that this wouldn’t work as we had no means to cook in our hotel room, but if he could offer to prepare something for us, we’d be happy to engage his services. Not knowing any better, we ordered a couple of crab claws, some huge shrimp-like creatures (apparently Norway lobsters), and a few oysters for Caroline and pointed to fish filets in the display. In other words, we ordered too much, and yet…

…the photo of this plate of fish was our second order; it became my dessert. This fish and nothing else is what we should have stuffed ourselves with as it is an uncommon deeper water fish called roughhead grenadier or onion-eyed grenadier. Eirik told us this was an unpopular fish due to its monstrous appearance. No matter what this fish looked like alive, it was one of the best-tasting fish I’ve ever enjoyed. Our gracious host insisted that the magic ingredient was the butter from his hometown of Kviteseid in the Telemark region about 100 miles southwest of Oslo.

Pinnekjøtt drying at Fenaknoken Market and Restaurant in Oslo, Norway

But we need to back up to the tour of Fenaknoken Eirik gave us. Immediately, I recognized what was hanging in the rafters as I’d read about this Christmas treat while working on our itinerary. Those slabs of meat hanging in the rafters drying are mostly lamb ribs known as Pinnekjøtt. No amount of begging was going to work in our favor to try this dish, but we were invited back during the Christmas holiday to try his immensely popular preparation of the traditional meal of Pinnekjøtt.

Gudbrand Bræk and Eirik Bræk of Fenaknoken in Oslo, Norway

Meet Gudbrand Bræk on the left, father to Eirik Bræk on the right. These are the kind of hosts one hopes to meet once in their life; for Caroline and me, this is the second time we’ve been so fortunate. I have to acknowledge Giovanni Scorzo of Andreoli Italian Grocer in Scottsdale, Arizona, as the other person who made an indelible impact on our culinary life, as that man will likely be cooking for God in the afterlife. Today, though, we are the guests of Gudbrand and Eirik, and our smiles couldn’t have been any bigger, bigger even than our appetites.

Food, philosophy, humor, history, health, traditions, and even talk of the future are part of the conversation. These guys are passionate about the experience of meeting with friends and customers who are welcomed with the sincerity of those bringing in family. Over the course of our two-hour visit with the Bræk family, Eirik brought me to the back of the restaurant, where he shared a door off its hinges that is awaiting a place in some future setup that a number of noted people have signed over the years, including the signature of former CTO of Microsoft Nathan Myhrvold who is also the author of Modernist Cuisine and a fan of Eirik’s cooking. Before leaving, Gudbrand brought us over to another corner of the restaurant where he pointed to a photo of himself back when he was in the Norwegian Counterintelligence Office, handcuffed to Norway’s most famous spy named Arne Treholt, that he helped bring in.

Caroline Wise at Fenaknoken in Oslo, Norway

After eating far too much, it was time for the proverbial thin mint that arrived in the form of Brunost on crispbreads. If we understood Eirik correctly, this is his homemade version of the popular Norwegian treat that is made with cow’s cream and/or milk and a bit of goat’s milk. The mixture is slowly simmered for a good long time to remove the water, leaving a delicious caramel-like cheese that we are experiencing for the first time courtesy of our hosts.

Fishing in Oslo, Norway

Less than half a day in Oslo and the city has changed my mind about the poor expectations of it prior to leaving the States. I admit that we were making a stop here reluctantly and mainly for a couple of reasons. First, there was nowhere prior to this point in our Scandinavian excursion to do laundry. I couldn’t find any laundromats in Sweden or Norway except one in Oslo called Cafe Laundromat, which combines laundry machines and dryers with food service. I had made reservations for us at 8:00 pm this evening, but we canceled that reservation earlier today after deciding that we didn’t care about the cleanliness of our clothes and that we’d rather not throw a few hours at such a menial task. The second reason for a stop in Oslo was that the ride from Stockholm to Flåm, Norway, directly was just too long at 12 hours.

My reluctance to visit Oslo stemmed from what I was seeing online about the modern architecture and that I couldn’t find a historic old town district. But even after a brief superficial walk across a small corner of Oslo, I feel that there’s a lot more here than I first gleaned, and now we are hoping to return to Norway (and Oslo) soon.

Stumbling Stone in Oslo, Norway

I tend to forget that Stolpersteine (Stumbling Stones) are found in many countries across Europe, and was surprised to find one here in Oslo. This informal Holocaust Memorial Project places brass-plated stones onto sidewalks to denote the last homes of Jewish victims of the holocaust prior to their deaths.

Sauna at Guldsmeden Hotel in Oslo, Norway

This was not supposed to be our first-ever encounter with a sauna, but we were not going to pass over this opportunity to familiarize ourselves with the process. What good would the upgrade to our room have been if we didn’t take advantage of any of the amenities? The friendly woman who checked us in gave us hands-on lessons, so we had some small idea of what to do and armed with a few minutes of that knowledge, we were going in. Living in Arizona, we know heat, but the humidity that arises after pouring water on the hot stones had us pouring water out of ourselves.

Conclusion about using a sauna? It’s a bit like reading philosophy for the first time where you don’t know if you got out of it what others proclaim, which in turn leaves you feeling unsatisfied, like there’s something wrong with you for not finding instant enlightenment. Good thing we’d have another opportunity to feel like noobs later this week in Flåm, Norway, where we had booked a floating sauna on the fjord.

Uppsala, Sweden

Stockholm Central Station, Sweden

Staying near the train station allowed us to shake ourselves out of bed at 5:45. Since we’d be too early for the breakfast buffet at the hotel anyway, this was our version of sleeping in. By 6:15, we were at the central train station for our brief 40-minute ride to Uppsala to the north.

Caroline Wise at Stockholm Central Station, Sweden

Things to notice in this photo: Caroline is holding a cup of coffee, which will accompany the Kardemummabullar and the Kanelbullar in the paper bag at the top of her purse. She is wearing a wool undershirt beneath her huipil, and her sweater is draped over her arm. This morning’s temperature was in the low 40s (5.5 Celsius), with the promise of localized flooding over the course of the day. We are entering the 1st class car because even for a short ride, it’s nice to know that professional bonbon eaters seem to specialize in riding at the front of the train.

Train to Uppsala, Sweden

It doesn’t look like rain is on the horizon to us either, but it was cold. Speaking of cold, I’ve typically provided distances, weights, and temperatures in Imperial and Metric measurements for years, and today we are visiting the city where Anders Celsius was born and hope to be able to pay homage to him, should we find a monument to his memory. Uppsala also is the home of Carl Linnaeus, the father of modern taxonomy. More about him later.

Uppsala, Sweden

Most people haven’t yet started to stir on this early Sunday morning, and here we are at 7:15 already in Uppsala. The original reason behind this visit was that I’d read there would be a good number of runestones here; little did I know that we’d have already seen nearly half a dozen of these Viking-age monuments. And while there’s still plenty to see in Stockholm, even if we’d have canceled this side trip, we still couldn’t have seen a fraction of what’s to be appreciated in Sweden’s capital city. Now we need to venture out and make our way to Gamla Uppsala, and if you’ve not realized it yet, Gamla means old.

The Fyrisån River in Uppsala, Sweden

Rarely, though, is anything as simple as A = B with us, though, in some way, it seems that way if you were in our heads. Sure, we’re essentially on our way to Gamla Uppsala, but there are things between us and our destination, so the equation might be better written as A(a1+a2 / a3 x a4) + B(b1 x b2 + b3²) = P(AB). Or, in simpler terms, we’ll do stuff after getting to a place, we’ll deviate if our attention is drawn into a distraction, and then maybe we’ll reach our destination and do other stuff that was known or unknown to us prior to our arrival, but in the end, everything will be great.

Uppsala, Sweden

This might have just one more building that caught my eye, but I tried searching for a similar image and stumbled upon Lady Dandelion’s now-neglected blog, where she took a nostalgic walk across the Uppsala University campus after graduating and identified this particular house as the Department of Law.

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

This is Uppsala Cathedral, and it’s not open yet. You might notice some curvature on the right side of the photo for which I should apologize because it is distorting the view, but this is an assemblage of 16 different shots I took as the cathedral was too big for my lens. As a panorama, however, it turned out acceptable from my perspective. Since we’re too early, we’ll look around for something else that’s holding our interest and come back here in a bit.

Prior to leaving the United States, minus the runestone embedded in the building in Stockholm, we assumed it would be here in Uppsala that we would first see these 1000-year-old inscribed stones in the wild, so to say. This one reads, “Björn and Brand had this stone carved for their father Karlung, and Kättilbjörn for his brother. Öpir carved the runes.”

There are more runestones here, but we need to get over to the cathedral as they open so we can get moving to the north of town. As for the translation of this inscription, it reads, “Ríkr/Rekkr/Hringr and Holti and Fastgeirr, they had … the stone in memory of Vígmarr, their father, a good captain. Líkbjôrn carved.”

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

The doors to the cathedral have opened, and we are quick to enter as we don’t know when services might begin, which is likely considering it’s Sunday. This is the tallest church in the Nordic countries, standing at 118.7 meters (389 feet). Construction of this church began in 1272 over the site of a stone church that once stood here and was the location where King Eric IX died, helping cement his legacy and earning him the title of Patron Saint of Sweden, but I’m getting ahead of myself as I didn’t learn of this until well after our visit.

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

Two days ago, on the day of our arrival in Stockholm, I wrote about the orientation of cathedrals and how Storkyrkan, like other churches that adhere to this design principle, places the sanctuary to the east and the entry doors to the west, allowing the early morning sun to illuminate the church and visitors to experience the views exemplified by this series of photos.

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

All three of the first images here were taken as I got closer to the altar, and while one of them should have sufficed, I couldn’t help but use them all as I believe each portrays a beauty unique from the other.

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

A devastating fire raged through the cathedral in 1702, requiring new stained glass and frescoes. If any of the original survived, I don’t have that information.

Crypt of King Gustav I of Sweden at Uppsala Cathedral

While there are three queens buried in this tomb, only the first two queens of King Gustav I are featured in the memorial marble carving along with the king himself, as the third queen was still alive at the time her husband died.

Crypt of King Gustav I of Sweden at Uppsala Cathedral

The grave monument to King Gustav I is in the cathedral’s front chapel, which was once known as the Chapel of the Virgin Mary but was renamed the Vasa Chapel. It was right here at the Uppsala Cathedral that Gustav Vasa was crowned king as were most monarchs from the time of the Middle Ages until 1719. King Gustav I ruled for 37 years, longer than any other Swedish monarch besides the current monarch, King Carl XVI Gustaf.

King Eric IX reliquary at Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

What exactly was this that I photographed near King Gustav I’s tomb? I’m tempted to write someone at the cathedral to determine what this was from, but I’ve already spent countless hours researching details about this vacation, and in the scheme of things, exactly who is ever going to look to this website to learn about a gold-faced angel that is part of a larger plate? If I were to talk to lady dandelion, who I referenced earlier, she’d likely tell me I might be surprised.

A stroke of luck bumped into me the following day when I returned to this post. I was reading further details about the cathedral where it spoke of the Patron Saint of Sweden, King Eric IX, prior to mentioning that this was the resting place of King Gustav I. I thought this was odd because if Gustav Vasa was the first true king of Sweden, why did King Eric receive top billing? So I followed an embedded link to the story of Eric and came across a photo of his relic casket that had me thinking about this photo right here. One of the images in the articles had just enough detail that I could confirm that I had captured but a tiny piece of the reliquary.

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

Okay, this is just too many photos shared from this cathedral, but what is a person to do when this type of architecture speaks to their heart? When Notre Dame was devastated by fire, Paris and France had no choice but to restore it as it is one of the major tourism draws that round out a number of architectural wonders that bring visitors by the millions to the City of Light, but what of these cathedrals only a rare few ever visit? Maybe Uppsala Cathedral would be rebuilt as a matter of national pride due to its storied history to Swedes, but will another cathedral of such majesty ever be undertaken again?

Tomb of King Johan III at Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

Being the son of King Gustav I obviously had its perks, as witnessed by the monumental tomb of King John III. This has me thinking that I might like such an extravagant eternal resting place. It makes for a good argument that we should be teaching our children tools such as ZBrush or 3DCoat sculpting software so they can learn how to craft such ornate virtual tombs for their parents and themselves. Then again, wishing for society at large to begin adapting to complexity is like asking the man buried under all that marble to return to life.

Tomb of King Johan III at Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

The repose of King John III must be one of the most chill and casual of all tomb carvings ever made, as I’ve never seen a person of such royal lineage looking like he’s taking a nap after a hard day on the throne. The angels holding his armor and shield while waiting for the king to wake and return to battle is a nice touch.

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

Often more opulent than an altarpiece, the pulpit, also called an ambon at times, is set to the left side of the church and played a more important role in the church prior to the advent of electronic systems capable of amplifying the clergy presenting scripture.

Note to John and Caroline: next time in Europe, be sure to visit the Basilica of Saint-Pierre-aux-Nonnains in Metz, France, and the Cathedral of St. Peter in Trier, Germany, which are both from the early 4th century and the Aachen Cathedral in Germany that features one of the oldest pulpits still in existence. All three locations are about 2 to 4 hours away by train from Frankfurt.

Uppsala Cathedral in Uppsala, Sweden

I couldn’t fault anyone who might arrive at the conclusion that I’m on a pilgrimage to visit an inordinate number of churches, which is quickly approaching 20 such buildings, but I’d say that I’m simply gravitating towards the center of where European life congregated to find unity for the better part of 1,000 years.

Uppsala, Sweden

Caroline the Navigator had us going every which way as we tried to find a public transportation spot where we could catch a bus or tram to Gamla Uppsala. Well, at least that’s what she was deciphering on her phone. We ended up walking in what felt like circles, with the stop proving elusive, so looked for a trail that would allow us to walk.

Uppsala, Sweden

We are now walking out of Uppsala proper on our way to Gamla Uppsala, and with only an hour’s walk, we’ll certainly beat any rain that might show up, which doesn’t look like it’s really in the forecast anymore.

The Eriksleden trail and the Linnaeus Trail in Uppsala, Sweden

We are in love with our walk across the Swedish countryside and once again can’t get over our good fortune of being in the right place at the right time. We walk hand in hand, tell one another how much we are in love, and stop to look around incredulous that these are the sights in rural Sweden. This is not the first time we have exclaimed such things; we do this dozens of times a day as an hour doesn’t go by before we are reminded by another exquisite moment that we are living a charmed life.

The Eriksleden trail and the Linnaeus Trail in Uppsala, Sweden

Signs along the way denote that we are traveling the Eriksleden pilgrimage and Linnaeus trails. Regarding the Linnaeus part of the trail, these were the paths that Carl Linnaeus used as an educator to take his students into the places where he studied nature while creating his ideas about taxonomy. The particular locations that warrant greater study are called herbations.

The Eriksleden trail and the Linnaeus Trail in Uppsala, Sweden

The wool shirts and Caroline’s sweater are now a burden as the weather couldn’t be better for a long walk into history.

Burial Mounds in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

These burial mounds are the primary reason we’ve walked out here. In reading about the area, it’s been inhabited for about 2,000 years, ever since it rose above sea level. I had to read that last part twice but I read it right. You see, most of Sweden has been experiencing what is known as isostatic rebound or post-glacial rebound, where land that was once situated considerably lower due to the weight of ice-age sheets of ice have been rising and is still doing so. While Gamla Uppsala lies 25 meters or 82 feet above sea level today, Stockholm, where we are staying, sits only about 28 meters (92 ft) above sea level, and to its east, more than 24,000 islands and islets are still emerging from the sea.

While these three Royal Mounds are the most obvious burial sites, there were between 2,000 and 3,000 at one point, but the majority were plowed under to make way for farmland. The mounds are considered Sweden’s oldest national symbols, dating to between the 5th and 6th centuries. In Norse mythology, this is the burial site of Thor, Odin, and Freyr.

Another 4th mound was supposed to be the site of where the annual Disting occurred, an annual market and fair that coincided with the observation of Dísablót. This observation was held in honor of the female spirits or deities but was also the time when the “Ting of all Swedes” took place. A “Ting” was essentially a council or assembly meeting where community leaders gathered to discuss trade, legal, and military functions and dates back to early Roman times. As a side note, I also read that the German word for Tuesday, Dienstag is related to the “Ding.”

Bell Tower in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

When I was planning our trip, I thought this was the Old Church of Gamla Uppsala and that it was a stave church. In my cursory glancing at stuff about places, I missed that this was the old bell tower of the church and could not be visited. What is this attraction to ancient structures, art, words, and sounds that draw us humans in to find secrets and mysteries from our ancestors’ pasts? It is as if we are wishing for something to speak out from our distant history, where echoes of the past are waiting just for us.

Old Church in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

While popular mythology (tourism bait?) appears to enjoy the idea that about 1000 years ago, there may have been a pagan temple here, modern archeology says that’s not true and instead points to evidence of two prior stone churches that once stood on this site. What is undeniable is that Gamla Uppsala once played a large role in Swedish politics, religion, and economy, which you could easily imagine if it were true that gods were interred here. Up until the 12th century, when the Uppsala Cathedral was built, the coronation of kings took place right here in Gamla Uppsala at a temple, according to 11th-century chronicler Adam of Bremen.

Let’s return then to this idea of a pagan temple standing here: there are conflicting stories that state that postholes and log lines have been discovered that support the accounts from Adam of Bremen and Snorri Sturluson. I’ve read that this temple was burned down by King Inge the Elder in the 1080s, which has me wondering if the denial of a temple here in Gamla Uppsala is to support ideas of Christianity while denying a Norse/Viking/Pagan past.

Old Church in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

Inside the church, a red carpet runs the length of the nave, and beneath it is the grave of Anders Celsius. It’s not covered to deny visitors from seeing it, but in order to protect it from being worn away by our footsteps. King Eric IX was once buried here, too, until he was moved south to the cathedral in Uppsala.

Old Church in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

By the way, this visit to the Gamla Uppsala Church marks the 20th house of the Lord we’ve visited on this trip, although with a few of them, we could only peek in or had to content ourselves with views from the outside as the doors were locked. I count them all because it’s like graves; we don’t get to look into those either, but we have visited them all the same and most people would accept that as truth.

Old Church in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

Some things must simply remain a mystery. When whatever secrets or information about certain details cannot be found, there will be nothing to learn, nothing to share, and so it is with this obviously old fresco.

Museum in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

The complex here at Gamla Uppsala, taken as a whole, is incredible and well worth the visit, but the museum is rather light on artifacts. With no other fees to visit the mounds and church, this felt like a worthy donation to the upkeep of this historic corner of Sweden.

Museum in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

I collect visual souvenirs, never knowing which ones of the thousands will appeal to me after the end of the adventure and so it is with this helmet. If there was a data sheet about the piece regarding where it was found or who it might have belonged to, I missed it. Searching for information, I found a single source online implying it belonged to early King Eystein Adilsson, who lived 75 kilometers (46 miles) west of here, but that source was a genealogy and the author’s attempt to create dreams of distant relations by posting an image of this armor seemed like a stretch. There are no other supporting sources supporting this claim, leaving me to believe this information is fake. It’s a shame that this is our state of the internet, where history is whatever somebody says it is. Now I can try and reflect on how many bunk “facts” I’ve tossed into the maelstrom of the past.

Runestone at the Old Church in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

As we were leaving the museum, we asked one of the women about a runestone we had read was here at the church. She told us that it can be found mounted in one of the exterior walls of the Old Church. The rune translates to, “Sigvid the Englishman [erected] this stone in memory of Vidjärv, [his] father…”

Odinsborg Restaurant in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

Next to the church and museum, there’s a wonderful old wooden house that plays host to Odinsborg Restaurant where we took lunch today. The open-faced sandwich might not be called smørrebrød in Sweden, but that doesn’t mean we won’t enjoy it as such. Sadly, I have to inform Caroline through this sentence right here that she missed the opportunity to try Odinsborg’s home-brewed mead served in Viking horn tankards.

Odinsborg Restaurant in Gamla Uppsala, Sweden

The inside dining area of Odinsborg was mostly empty, with the majority of patrons sitting outside in the sun enjoying the perfect weather. After our shrimp-and-egg lunch, we shared a rhubarb torte with vanilla cream, and not able to exercise any self-control, I ordered a Belgian waffle with berry compote and whipped cream at the same time. That took a few minutes to prepare, so you might guess Caroline’s surprise when dessert number two showed up. Imagine mine when I realized that Belgian waffles are best enjoyed in Belgium.

On the bus in Uppsala, Sweden

This would be our first time on a Swedish bus, and whenever trying a form of transportation in a different country, there’s a trepidation if we have our duckies in a row, meaning tickets and destination. We’ve scored on this bus that promises to bring us to Valhalls vag and then a huge vag as though I’m old, I’m down with visiting exotic and foreign vag.

[John, could you be any more of an idiot with this childishness? Väg is pronounced “vay” and means road or way, NOT vagina, you infantile puerile old fart, while Huges might be referring to the name Hugo of Germanic origin. So the stop could be “Hugo’s Road” and consequently also be referencing the 12th century Bishop Henry of Uppsala, sometimes referred to as Henrik or Hugo – Caroline]

Oh really, Caroline, I just learned that David Chase, who created the Sopranos TV show, named the character of Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero after he traveled this exact bus line and chuckled to himself about the reference to huge vagina! Just kidding. By the way, Topeliusgatan translates to “Taking the piss.”

Uppland Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

In my trip planning, I’d seen that the Uppland Museum here in Uppsala was open from 12:00 until 5:00 today (a Sunday), so with time to spare, we dipped in. It is hardly a great museum and might even be considered a bit less than mediocre, but they are closing up shop in the next weeks to make way for new exhibits, so maybe there will be some improvement when next year rolls around. As for what’s in the photo, you should know by now that if there’s yarn in the image, it must have something to do with fiber arts (loom weights and spindle whorls). The coolest things about this museum might be the remnants of an old water mill in the Fyris River and that Ingmar Bergman shot the outside of the building as the bishop’s house in the film Fanny and Alexander.

Uppland Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

This photo was pretty interesting, too, as we are seeing four generations of the monarchy. Prince Carl Gustaf, who would grow up to be King Carl XVI Gustaf is the baby at his christening on 7 June, 1946. King Gustaf V, his great-grandfather, is holding him. To the far left is Crown Prince Gustaf VI Adolf the King’s grandfather, and in finally behind the grandfathers is Heir Apparent Prince Gustaf Adolf, Carl’s father.

Runestone at the University in Uppsala, Sweden

On the way back to Uppsala, we learned that there are other runestones aside from the ones we’ve already seen at the university. Only a couple of them were worth photographing, as a majority of the old Viking signs had wooden frames around them due to some kind of work going on in the area.

The University in Uppsala, Sweden

Our bus dropped us closer to the university than where we really wanted to go next, but our destination was only a 10-minute walk away, so everything was good. Plus, we’ve seen yet more runestones.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

Our fingers are crossed that reasonable weather remains on our side as we enter the Linnaeus Gardens, and former summer home of the Carl Linnaeus family. Carl Linnaeus is the man who, a few hundred years ago, turned humanity on to taxonomies. The gardens and buildings here are effectively a museum to the efforts of this Swedish botanist, zoologist, taxonomist, and physician, of whom August Strindberg once said, “Linnaeus was, in reality, a poet who happened to become a naturalist,” while Goethe wrote: “With the exception of Shakespeare and Spinoza, I know no one among the no longer living who has influenced me more strongly.”

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

From botany to zoology, Linnaeus created the modern system of naming species. Take this: Moluccella laevis L., also known as Bells of Ireland. Moluccella is this plant’s genus, while laevis is the species, and finally, the trailing L is the initial of the person who named it, in this instance, that is Linnaeus himself. There is more to the taxonomic description involving family, order, clade, phylum, and kingdom, but the first two parts of the name will get you what you are looking for, while these additional descriptors arrived after Linnaeus offered us the structural foundation of taxonomy.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

There were many plants in the garden that Linnaeus himself would have cultivated, along with small monkey shelters atop raised platforms as he also studied primates, but the overcast sky wasn’t conducive to capturing stunning images of the plants, so we turned our attention to the museum.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

When this book titled Systema Naturae was first published in 1735, it was only 12 pages long, but by the 10th edition, it had grown to include 4,400 species of animals and 7,700 species of plants. Within two more editions, things had gotten so extensive that Linnaeus gave us the concept of the index card, which he required to track the growing volume of species he was naming.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

I know that it was at the end of the travel season when we arrived here, and it’s Sunday, but there were very few visitors, which turned out nicely for us because we could linger, looking in on some of the things that this major contributor to science lived with and that inspired him.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

The twinflower was Linnaeus’s favorite flower, and as such, it was named Linnaea borealis L. It is the flower that adorns this teapot that accompanied a tea service gifted to him from the Swedish School — I have no idea what Swedish school this refers to.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

A lace-making table that would have been relatively commonplace among well-to-do households who had a need for fineries.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

There are quite a few personal items in the museum, including preserved creatures in formaldehyde and the cane used by Linnaeus.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

This is supposed to be the actual embroidered waistcoat worn by Linnaeus and not a recreation; it’s in incredibly good shape.

The Linnaeus Garden and Museum in Uppsala, Sweden

A glance back at the garden, and it was time to leave.

Helga Trinity Church in Uppsala, Sweden

This is the Helga Trefaldighets Kyrka or Holy Trinity Church. This is the third church we were visiting on this day, possibly a record or at least a tie with some previous day.

Helga Trinity Church in Uppsala, Sweden

There’s not much on the internet to share about this church; even the dates of construction and consecration are unknown. The best guess is it was built towards the end of the 13th century and consecrated in the very early 14th century, with the first mention of the church in 1302.

Helga Trinity Church in Uppsala, Sweden

Another stroke of luck, a young student is practicing on the organ, the green cap he’s wearing shows that he’s an apprentice.

Helga Trinity Church in Uppsala, Sweden

Even in the afternoon overcast light, the effect of natural light spilling into the church is dramatic. How could others not be drawn into such visual spectacles?

Helga Trinity Church in Uppsala, Sweden

This mural by Albertus Pictor is certainly not a biblical scene as it appears more medieval to me; my half-educated guess is that it depicts the death of King Eric IX.

Helga Trinity Church in Uppsala, Sweden

Sometimes, even the most simple scene can lend beauty and thoughtfulness to what would otherwise be plain.

Helga Trinity Church in Uppsala, Sweden

Pull the old handle; it is now time to leave this place, too.

Caroline Wise at Peppar Peppar Restaurant in Uppsala, Sweden

We walked into Peppar Peppar with low expectations as there was only one other table for two dinner guests occupied. True, we were early, having made a reservation for 5:00 on the first day of their reopening after their own summer holidays. And dinner was amazing on all fronts. We started with smoked deer cheesecake, which wasn’t a dessert but an incredibly yummy appetizer. Caroline ordered what was likely the cheapest thing on the menu with the warning that it would run out fast: fried herring, drawn butter, mashed potatoes, and lingonberry because in Sweden if a dish doesn’t arrive with lingonberry, it’s not really Swedish. The herring was so awesome that I asked the server about the preparation, and the kitchen actually shared it; here it is:

Marinate the herring filets in mustard and Crème fraîche for two days. Bread with dark flour, salt, and pepper. Fry in a neutral oil with lemon zest thrown in when adding the fish.

As for me, I ordered the reindeer filet and Västerbotten cheese terrine, chantarelles, cranberries, and game velouté. Afterward, we shared a dessert of Crème caramel with condensed milk, lemon thyme, and lingonberries. This restaurant is a treasure.

Leaving Uppsala, Sweden

Train back to Stockholm, pack, skip the shower, and sleep. Tomorrow in the early morning, we depart for a nearly six-hour train ride to Oslo, Norway. This vacationing thing can be exhausting.

Gothenburg to Stockholm, Sweden

Gothenburg, Sweden

Both of us have been experiencing intense dreams since we landed in Europe, possibly related to the shifted sleeping patterns and the jetlag. It’s as though our minds get busy at night purging trash to make room for the onslaught of impressions we collect while on vacation. Caroline woke early at 5:00 with a disturbing dream where she was a character in an animated TV series called Bojack Horseman. A few years ago, after someone else recommended the show, she tuned in and shut it right down after five minutes. Based on its high stupidity quotient, she immediately understood she’d create brain damage if she watched more, and now, a thousand days later, it’s being recycled and dragging her in uncomfortably. Not only that, I’m here writing about it so she can be reminded of it again and again.

Upon finally getting out of bed, I saw an alert from our security camera at home. It turned out that Phoenix was under a thunderstorm warning, so maybe a flash of lightning triggered it. Seeing our place from so far away intrudes on a moment when it should remain a distant thought. Enough of talk of home as it represents the end of vacation and who wants to entertain those ideas when we are only now entering vacation part two and have two weeks still ahead?

Already our fourth day in Sweden, and only now are we trying Swedish pancakes: they are not a revelation. [I blame the mediocre breakfast buffet – Caroline] Time to head out and try exploring this city of Gothenburg again, as after last night’s rainy encounter, we did not feel much of a revelation either. Hopefully, over the next 4.5 hours, we’ll discover something different before our departure for Stockholm.

Gothenburg, Sweden

Nothing like some sun and blue sky to wash away a half-negative opinion. So, while not a stunning historical place, Göteborg (local spelling), at 400 years old, is a relatively young city with its architecture reflecting that, and it is clearly better experienced on a nice day rather than a gloomy one. While that’s often true for many places we visit, there are others where it doesn’t matter the weather.

Gothenburg, Sweden

I must admit a failure of imagination as I should have been able to glean possibilities last night but maybe after ten days in Europe of constant pressing forward, we are encountering a bit of exhaustion. Not that we’ll give in to slowing things down, as we are well-invested in our ability to push hard in order to maximize our investment. Maybe we are like two golden sea unicorns unencumbered by being fixed to anything. We swim freely, turning experiences into treasures.

Gothenburg, Sweden

Last night passing Central Station, we saw a QR code on a small streetside billboard offering a tourist map of the city and grabbed it. This morning, we are trying to decipher details on a PDF file we can’t zoom into.

Gothenburg, Sweden

There are absolutely beautiful corners to be found here in Gothenburg that also require a bit of hill-climbing up cobblestone streets and a ton of stairs to ascend and descend.

Gothenburg, Sweden

I can’t remember if it was flying into Frankfurt or flying into Copenhagen where I noticed a lot of grass roofs to offset the effects of the sun radiating back into the atmosphere as one more measure to combat climate change, but that was yet another aspect of people trying to be proactive, and now here we are seeing a facade supporting plant life. A small, maybe even insignificant contribution, but it lets you know that there are those who believe these are worthy efforts if for no other reason than to inspire others to think about the environment.

Gothenburg, Sweden

We are crossing the Kungsportsbron – King’s Gate Bridge. The old wooden one is long gone; it was replaced by this bridge back in 1901. The town of Gothenburg was initially a fortress, and the waterway under this bridge was once a moat. When the defensive walls and bastions were torn down in the early 1800s, the decision was made to keep the moat: some forward-thinking, if you ask me, because water running through a city is one of the great luxuries.

Gothenburg, Sweden

Tacos are another luxury that obviously now has global appeal, as seen here with Panchito’s food truck.

Gothenburg, Sweden

I’m already a sucker for big bronze warriors on horse monuments, but this mural from SupaKitch & Koralie was a brilliant addition to an otherwise incredibly boring building in the background.

Gothenburg Cathedral in Gothenburg, Sweden

Yesterday, I presented my reader with the front of Gothenburg Cathedral; today, I offer you its rear, a.k.a, the apse.

Gothenburg, Sweden

Yesterday, I also presented a very similar view to this one, except I was further back on a bridge behind this one. I thought the weather was poor, but now see that it was simply dramatic in a different way. If we weren’t in a relative hurry to experience as much as possible, I think I could have found some great photos under the gray skies. Impatience never pays.

Caroline Wise at Broderi & Garn in Gothenburg, Sweden

These photos in yarn stores are mostly the same: a fiber-related background and everything Caroline is purchasing on the visit. Today, we left with this needlepoint kit for Caroline’s sister, Stephanie.

Gothenburg, Sweden

The sign reads, “The necessities of life. A very long Swedish Fika,” which already feels like words of truth to us.

Saluhall in Gothenburg, Sweden

We require an early lunch as our train leaves just before 12:30, so another Saluhall (Market hall) experience seems to hold promise. With a variation of a theme, today we are having a fat venison meatball smothered in thyme cream with boiled potatoes, lingonberry jelly, and a small arugula and cucumber salad. Not exactly like the Köttbullar we had previously, but close enough. Knowing what was ahead of us this afternoon, we left the counter and our barstools to walk to a nearby bakery and, as you might already know, grabbed a cardamom and a cinnamon roll.

Gothenburg, Sweden

Though we’ll have walked seven miles around Gothenburg this morning, we recognize that we’re seeing very little of this city with a population six times bigger than Lund, so there must be more to it and maybe even some interesting corners that should warrant a return visit. I’m not opposed to coming back, but there’s so much more to be seen of our world.

Gothenburg, Sweden

I don’t think I’ve shared this yet, but we have not seen a single homeless person in Denmark or Sweden, while we have seen a lot of flowers, plants, and trees, which likely are an attempt to make up for inevitable gray days. Writing this, I wonder what could the United States do to brighten the situation around the masses of homeless people who are lending a gray pallor to our cities. [A few hours later, in Stockholm, we saw a number of homeless folks, so we know they exist in Scandinavia, but in nowhere near the numbers that we saw in downtown Frankfurt, for example – Caroline]

Gothenburg, Sweden

A funny thing happened on the way to our hotel to fetch our bags: we stumbled into the Trädgårdsföreningen (Garden Society) across the way from Central Station and took a few minutes to smell the roses in the rose garden as that’s what one does when they are otherwise pressed for time but think they have just enough minutes to spare that they can act irresponsibly.

Gothenburg, Sweden

I’m guessing we are maybe 100 meters (300 feet) from the other bridge I photographed a couple of photos above. Just past the reddish building on the right is the large square next to the train station, and the view of the area couldn’t be any more different. Of the eight potential sites we could have visited, we missed half. I suppose the idea of visiting three museums when we didn’t even arrive until 4:30 p.m. yesterday and leaving shortly after they opened wasn’t a formula for winning any sightseeing awards. There were other places we walked by or visited, but the photos didn’t really work out such as at the Carolus XI Rex Bastion, but there were already too many photos for a single post.

Central Station in Gothenburg, Sweden

Clickety-clackety went the broken wheel of our cursed suitcase, but we made it back to the station. We were even early for the train that wouldn’t leave for another 20 minutes.

Lake in Sweden

I have no idea what the name of this lake is; it doesn’t even matter. We were speeding by just inches from the shore in addition to a number of other nameless lakes we’d pass along the way to Stockholm.

Fika on a train in Sweden

This would be our first 180 km/h (110 mph) fika on the fly. Those rolls we bought at the Saluhall were finally brought out and with coffees supplied by the restaurant car, we dug into our rolling fika. My cinnamon roll was almost gone when it occurred to me to take a photographic reminder of yet another perfect Swedish coffee pause. Lucky for us, Caroline had only taken a single bite because she really knows how to savor the good things.

Countryside seen by rail in Sweden

Maybe the following incident wouldn’t have occurred had we been sitting in the crowded 2nd class compartments of the train instead of the lofty isolation of 1st class, but when Caroline was returning from a facilities break, it seems she considered choosing a different seatmate for the rest of her journey. The side eye offered her by the “other” guy apparently gave her the impression she was being spurned because she jumped up quickly and returned to me as though I hadn’t recognized her attempt to escape my clutching heart. While this is a first on a train, Caroline has been known on previous occasions to approach other cars (and even stepping into one) that she “supposedly” thought were ours.

We’ve passed through Katrineholm under overcast skies with occasional rain along the route to Stockholm. I’ve seen plenty of cows, sheep, and horses but an absolute dearth of birds. Of course, just as I noted that I spotted a dozen or so birds.

Stockholm, Sweden

Leaving the crush of humanity at the central train station in Stockholm, we dragged this suitcase that is a constant reminder of how much I want to rid myself of this broken thing to the hotel, checked in, and were gone in minutes to experience this great weather.

The Church of Saint Clare in Stockholm, Sweden

Orienting oneself to a new environment never really happens in the first minutes of being somewhere new, and this afternoon was no different. Construction exacerbated the issue, culminating with me insisting we follow my intuition to a dead-end until Caroline led the way to the St. Clara (Klara Kyrka) church.

The Church of Saint Clare in Stockholm, Sweden

Back in 1527, this church was built over the one that had stood here since the 1280s. That initiative was led by King Gustav I Vasa, recognized as the first king of Sweden because he removed Sweden from the Kalmar Union, which was initiated by Danish Queen Margrethe I as a means of countering the influence of the German Hanseatic League. There will be points along this trip where I’ll reiterate previously stated moments out of history in order to cement the connections and relationships I’d like to better understand.

City Hall in Stockholm, Sweden

This is Stockholm City Hall, which just celebrated its 100th birthday. While city hall was on our list of places to “see,” there wasn’t a note to ourselves about it being a must-see interior, and we blew it. Reading up about the local seat of government here, it turns out that the Golden Hall is decorated with a mosaic made of 18 million tiles of colored glass and gold. Reason #26 for why we must return to Scandinavia.

City Hall in Stockholm, Sweden

It is said that Birger Jarl used to tame wild Swedish lions as an infant, and why not? Italians believe that Romulus and his twin brother, Remus, who founded Rome, were raised by a she-wolf. In all honesty, one of these stories is not true.

Stockholm, Sweden

That’s Riddarholmen island across the Riddarfjärden, which is the easternmost bay of Lake Mälaren and where we’d be heading after leaving the city hall area.

City Hall in Stockholm, Sweden

This is the gold-plated cenotaph of 13th-century Swedish statesman Birger Jarl. Also known as Birger Magnuson, this was the man who is considered the founder of Stockholm, who also played a foundational role in establishing the lands that would become known as Sweden. For these efforts, King Eric XI offered Birger the title of Jarl, which was a role just below the King. Earlier, I stated that Gustav I Vasa was the first king of Sweden. Until that point in time, the territories of the Kalmar Union were effectively ruled by the Danish monarchy.

City Hall in Stockholm, Sweden

Nearly 8 million red bricks were used in the building of the city hall. It is in the “Blå hallen” (Blue Hall) that the Nobel Prize banquet is held (the Golden Hall hosts the ball). Yet another reason to despair is that we didn’t visit the building during our time in Stockholm, as the sheer number of geniuses that have ascended these stairs is staggering.

Birger Jarl's Tower on Riddarholmen in Stockholm, Sweden

Birger Jarl’s Tower was never visited by or known to Birger Jarl since it was built hundreds of years after Birger died. King Gustav I had this tower erected as part of the city’s defensive structure, and it’s considered the oldest building in Stockholm.

Riddarholmen Church in Stockholm, Sweden

Reason #27 to return to Scandinavia: visit the interior of Riddarholmen Church, which is only open during the summer. There are a number of royals interred in the church, though it is no longer used in that capacity, and royal burials have been moved to the Royal Cemetery.

Riddarholmen in Stockholm, Sweden

The view is still of Riddarholmen Island as we look back toward Birger Jarl’s Tower, which stands behind the building to the left. This corner of Stockholm is also a part of Gamla Stan (Old Town).

Fuck Putin sticker in Stockholm, Sweden

Nice rendition of Czar Putler of the Commie Republic of Former Soviet Fascists.

Stockholm, Sweden

We are being swept off our feet by the immense spectacle and beauty that is here in Stockholm. We had no idea that Sweden’s capital would be on par with the impressions we gathered in Vienna. In the background is Storkyrkan (Stockholm Cathedral), which is already closed like most everything else.

Caroline Wise at Mårten Trotzigs gränd in Old Town Stockholm, Sweden

In the squeeze at Mårten Trotzigs gränd, which is the narrowest alley in the city. The man it was named after was once one of the richest men in Stockholm but found an untimely end when he was beaten to death a couple of hundred kilometers away in Kopparberg.

Stockholm, Sweden

Humans exist here where cars are forbidden.

Runestone in Stockholm, Sweden

When planning our vacation, I thought there was a chance we’d not have seen a runestone yet and that maybe time wouldn’t allow us to catch this one either, but here it is, and runestones are becoming relatively common. The fragment of runic script reads ᚦᚬᚱ[..]ᛅᛁᚾ ᛫ ᛅᚢᚴ ᛫ ᚠᚱᛅᚤᚴᚢᚾ ᛫ ᚦᛅᚢ[…] ᛫ ᛋᛏᛅᛁᚾ ᛫ ᛁᚠᛏᛁᛦ […] ᛋᚢᚾ ᛋᛁᚾ and translates to Thorsteinn and Freygunnr, they … stone in memory of … their son.

Stockholm, Sweden

Visiting Stortorget (The Grand Square) was a crazy idea as this place is packed. I can’t imagine what it was like a month ago! With everyone else trying to capture selfies with the Nobel Museum posing behind them, I opted to take this photo of the old fountain.

Public urinal in Stockholm, Sweden

Men have been pissing here for 133 years, and it smells like it. There was no way I was going to see the Källargränd Urinal built in 1890 and not use it myself, but damn, once the stream started, I was seriously tempted to step to the side and piss in the street as the stench was so pungent. My first introduction to pissoirs was in Amsterdam in the 1980s, and in researching the history of this Swedish unit, I learned that the Vespasienne Arago, the last surviving Parisian pissoir, is still in use and calling for my pee.

Storkyrkan (Stockholm Cathedral) in Stockholm, Sweden

No entry here to the Storkyrkan (Stockholm Cathedral) as in keeping with tradition, the western side is where the entry is found. When one walks into a church, the stained glass windows should be catching the rising sun to the east thus illuminating the sanctuary in such a way as to inspire awe in visitors.

Finnish Church (Finnish: Suomalainen kirkko) in Stockholm, Sweden

Welcome to the Suomalainen Kirkko (Finnish Church) we shouldn’t have been able to visit, but a private event that was wrapping up still had the doors open, and me being me, we walked right in like we belonged here, nobody said a thing. We kept our visit to a minimum, failing to capture a great photo, but no matter, this documents our first-ever visit to a Finnish church.

Järnpojke or Iron Boy in Stockholm, Sweden

Järnpojke, or Iron Boy, is the smallest public monument in Stockholm and is located right behind the church we just barged into.

Axel Oxenstiernas Palace in Stockholm, Sweden

The Axel Oxenstierna Palace must be noted because Oxenstierna was a badass. We have read quite a lot about this man with regard to his time involved with the Thirty Years War of 1618 to 1648 but know little of him otherwise; well, let me tell you. When Oxenstierna was a mere 29 years old, he became Lord High Chancellor of Sweden to King Gustavus Adolphus. By 1632, the king died in battle, leaving Oxenstierna in effect, the regent of Sweden. Then, in 1634, he introduced the Instrument of Government, which was effectively Sweden’s first constitution, and established counties in his country, which replaced provinces and remains the form of local government until this day.

Changing of the guard at the Royal Palace in Stockholm, Sweden

As the changing of the guard began at the Royal Palace, I must have been the most unprepared visitor there that day because the troop was moving fast, and I was about to get a photo of their backsides if I didn’t snap now. While the image is blurry, there was just enough focus that I found this interesting enough to share.

Courtyard at the Royal Palace in Stockholm, Sweden

The Royal Palace is a gigantic place, and while it’s still used by King Carl XVI Gustaf for state ceremonies and special events, it seems to be mostly a tourist attraction these days. The king and queen currently live out of town on an island at Drottningholm Palace.

Changing of the guard at the Royal Palace in Stockholm, Sweden

After the guards moved behind some doors that are off limits to visitors, their business wasn’t finished yet, and from time to time, another guard emerged to care for something or other. One of those young guards in the King’s employ was close enough that I was able to ask if I could get a photo of her. I love the helmet and hope the young lady will have fond memories of the time she worked at the Royal Palace, even if it is mostly for the performance value.

Stockholm, Sweden

So much already seen, and yet we’ve only been a little more than 2.5 hours in the capital city. Tomorrow is our only full day in Stockholm because, on the day after, we are heading up to Uppsala. I reluctantly admit that our brief visit was based on the shortsighted idea that maybe we should limit our time in any one place so we can orient ourselves and that it’s better to capture a little bit of everything than to have never been present to participate in the life of a city, even if for only a few minutes.

Stockholm, Sweden

Wow, Stockholm, we never knew that this is where Vienna meets Venice. Are you just the best-kept secret, or did we arrive on the single most perfect day in the history of this city?

Stockholm, Sweden

If anything, in this photo, the Art Noveau Baroque Skånebanken building looks appealing, even though the finer details are underrepresented due to the resolution. This is a tiny fraction of the ornate character spread out in all directions. Stockholm is a city you must experience with your own eyes and ears, but before you ever arrive, start learning about the history of Scandinavia and have a better itinerary to explore the details you’ll certainly want to know about instead of being dumb tourists like us who will really only be able to scratch a small corner of the surface of things.

Norrbro Bridge Lion in Stockholm, Sweden

We are crossing the Norrbro Bridge heading north, just walking around to admire the architecture as there’s so much eye candy to be found here.

Stockholm, Sweden

Caroline, the polyglot, was enjoying her laugh at the word Hiss, which is Swedish for lift/elevator.

St Jacobs Church in Stockholm, Sweden

St Jacob’s Church will be our last stop of the day. We are growing fatigued after walking more than 21 km (13 miles), so we’ll head to dinner after this and then try to convince ourselves to make our way to the hotel to take a rest.

St Jacobs Church in Stockholm, Sweden

Listen up tourists, it is a serious faux pas to take photos during church services, but my travels require as many church photos as I can possibly take, even if it means I must occasionally act the tactless fool. With everything else closed, services at this time presented an opportunity I couldn’t pass up because who knows if we’ll be able to include this tomorrow.

Stockholm, Sweden at night

Dinner was at Kryp In Gamla Stan, which specializes in traditional Swedish meals, allowing us to start with an appetizer of chanterelles followed by venison stuffed dumplings for Caroline and flounder for me. It’s a hard balance of hoping to find authentic meals and being drawn into tourist restaurants that serve what they believe the visitor expects and are far from real flavors. With so many different languages being spoken in European capitals, one never really knows if locals eat at these places. Our meal was good, so I suppose that’s enough, but the uncertainty usually taints these experiences, having me walking away believing I was overcharged and possibly duped. On the other hand, for Caroline, there was a surprise to be found in the women’s room: free tampons, you don’t see that every day.

Stockholm, Sweden at night

Reenergized not just from dinner but the beautiful reflected moonlight over the lake, we continued walking around Stockholm, enjoying everything about this day filled with wow.

Stockholm, Sweden at night

It was only a couple more miles, if that, before we felt that enough was enough and that we’d extracted as much as could from our day. Plus, we’d have all day tomorrow to explore a few places in detail.

Lund to Gothenburg, Sweden

Skum (Foam) Lund, Sweden

A funny thing about this language puzzle is how quickly it exposes the idiot that still dwells within me. I’m drawn in due to my puerility because, for me, the word “Skum” triggers a second glance and a chuckle about putting out a fire with scum. Now I have to stop and think, what is shot from a fire extinguisher? Foam is the answer, and that’s what the Swedish word Skum translates to, so this sign only brings attention to a fire extinguisher at this location in our hotel. It turns out that Skum is derived from the Middle Dutch word Schume meaning froth or foam, and that word originates from Proto-German Skuma, which means shallow ladle for removing scum (German: Schaum). Next, I will examine the etymology of the English word scumbag, which is slang for condoms.

Lund, Sweden

While getting ready to take on the day, I’m taken by how fluid Caroline’s and my cooperation with each other is. Often in synch and moving toward a common goal, it’s a kind of dance we go through from the moment we first face each other upon waking up until we fall asleep. For this to work, there can be no taking advantage of each other. As those who know me are aware, I need not work for money, but I’m well aware that I cannot waste any time I am afforded in uncertainty or lack of productivity. I understand the rarity of the gift of time I can invest not only in myself but both of us. Whether I’m writing, reading, talking, or involved with some type of craft, I’m evolving – which, if I’m fortunate, will benefit the two of us. There is no time for TV, games, or professional sports as they are counterproductive and, in my view, destroy or at least harm one’s chance of finding real happiness. I do not live vicariously. I create new memories, share experiences, and, on occasion, revel in what we’ve been able to accomplish.

Lund, Sweden

Yes, I’m an atheist, but that has never stopped me from looking for divinity in solemn places. I try to live in the moment but never stop searching for a sense of time in historic sites. I’ve seen things in ways that bring tears to my eyes, yet I’m always on the lookout for more because tears are not only about suffering.

Lund, Sweden

I picked an apple from this tree hanging over the sidewalk only to find that it was a fall apple and needed another month or two to fully ripen. No matter, we shared the apple as we are not ones to throw food away, especially when it was taken while walking the streets of an urban area in a different country. As I’ve said somewhere else on this blog, we are unaccustomed to finding food in America’s cities that have been sterilized of things that are edible.

Main Train Station in Lund, Sweden

Our walk away from the hotel this morning had us dragging our bags to the Lund main train station to store them in a locker. We have tickets to Gothenburg, Sweden, with a departure time of 2:15 p.m., well after our checkout.

Lund, Sweden

Triggered again! Is this a heroin bar (American slang: smack), snack bar, or ice cream shop? I had no idea that smak meant taste or flavor, but now that I do, I wonder if this is related to the German word schmecken. [It is indeed – Caroline] Visiting the Facebook page of this shop, I learned that it’s an ice cream parlor, a place to get a different kind of fix.

University in Lund, Sweden

There seem to be buildings everywhere that belong to Lund University, but I guess that’s the way things have to work when you fit a university into a city that’s already 650 years old. The university was founded in 1666, and during the intervening 357 years, the school has continued to grow and is considered one of the top 100 universities on earth. This particular building is being utilized as part of the Kulturskolan or School of the Arts.

All Saints Church in Lund, Sweden

We don’t typically visit churches less than 500 years old, but we are making an exception today to visit the Allhelgonakyrkan (All Saints Church) consecrated in 1891. Just kidding, age has nothing to do with our decision to visit a church; only an open door stands between us and our visiting a house of worship.

All Saints Church in Lund, Sweden

Here we are in the sanctity of a space created for gathering, but we find ourselves alone. The idea is that those who enter these domains are looking to commune with the holy spirit, align their soul, or seek knowledge and compassion to comfort themselves or a loved one, and yet, time and again, the masses do not turn to the modern church because the thing that most satisfies what ails them is to be found in the form of cash.

All Saints Church in Lund, Sweden

Aside from tourist attractions and the occasional setting of a wedding, have our churches become relics of a time where belief was the primary vehicle for one’s life and these buildings the highway to deliverance? I cannot infer that there is nobody left who wants to worship and seek guidance because I certainly witness them taking a place in an otherwise empty pew and looking to heaven in prayer. By and large, though, visions of God are mostly gone and forgotten in a different age. Ears that at another point in history were tuned to hearing the collective prayers of others in pain and anguish in order to build community have fallen into deafness while simultaneously, we turn a blind eye to tragedies that are too great a burden for the souls of good capitalists. And yet, when it comes to riches, we all aspire to don the cloak of the holiest, most righteous, and deserving and believe that God is looking over us and our good fortune, others be damned. This idea that we’ve absolved ourselves of doing the work of God so we can relish in the glory of wealth is an evil contradiction of the tenets of religion that put the health and welfare of all people above the few.

All Saints Church in Lund, Sweden

The time is lost when people turned to their souls and, in community, found the essence of God. Love always rang through the congregation, even if it was only for an hour on Sunday. Today, self-love is found in financial transactions that beatify our existence and aloft us to nirvana. Today, Amazon offers us the kind of salvation that was once found in the church, with the media acting as the Pope, extolling what is cool.

All Saints Church in Lund, Sweden

The altar is archaic, appreciated by the atheist more than the devout, as the aesthetics are unique and fit the inquiring mind of the godless individual searching for the uncommon and unknown. What is offered to the senses in the church are not on-brand mass-produced goods that anoint the herd with salvation through consumption; this sanctuary of the holy is no longer a refuge for those trying to find their way or discover deeper truths in the unknown. It is painfully obvious that a church exercising its power to the point of being shoulder to shoulder with the most powerful is corrupt, but if God is supposed to be in the heart of all people, then why does the rage of intolerance and expression of greed infect such vast numbers of people? I am one of those who do not believe in a God, and yet my heart is overwhelmed with the need to know the extent of how far I can love and how loudly I can beg for the divine to be known. My voice, though, is not to be heard as I’m not on the “Viral Plan.” I’m not standing in the pulpit of TikTok or on a stage displaying the physical attributes everyone desires to worship. I’m just a nobody atheist, but I’m also profoundly in love.

Are You Communist sticker in Lund, Sweden

Are You A Communist? For over 50 years, Sweden has had a communist party, which isn’t all that strange in Europe, though it would certainly seem quite wrong for Americans. Consider for a moment that they are not represented on the national level and only have a few seats in local municipalities, while the Pirate Party back in 2009 captured enough votes to gain a seat with the European Parliament. Don’t worry yet about the communists yet as over in Germany, AFD (Alternative For Deutschland – might as well call them Nazis) has a bit more than 10% of the seats in parliament. [The German Communist Party or DKP is absolute fringe in comparison and has no seats at all – Caroline] Such is the nature of politics not controlled by two monolithic parties where stalemates are the rule.

Lund, Sweden

Flowers don’t give a damn about war, history, technology, or any of the other silly machinations of people bent on control, intimidation, and fear. Flowers have their own Freedom Party with a single platform that demands the right to sway in the wind.

Astronomical Clock at the Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

We have returned once again to the Lund Cathedral because it’s not busy at this early hour, and we want to visit the crypt without others milling about. The cathedral is already open, while our next destination doesn’t unlock its doors until 10:00 a.m. We’ll have to return for a third visit to the cathedral since the astronomical clock will not play until noon and then again at 3:00, but we’ll be on our way north by that time.

The Crypt at Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

A sense of palpable excitement grips me upon entering the crypt of a church. When descending into such places, there is a charge that does not originate in movies or books but is, in my opinion, inexplicable and mysterious. The solemnity is greater down here than on the floors above or in hospitals and libraries. Remember, I don’t or do not want to believe in spirits, ghosts, or souls of those who preceded my joining this space as a visitor, and as far as I know, my imagination doesn’t play to entertaining such mysteries as having weight or authenticity. Yet, there are times when the perplexing presence of historical gravity seems to be present in ways I cannot truly comprehend.

The Crypt at Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

Legend has it that this is Finn the Giant, who made an agreement with a troll, but something went sideways, and now Finn stands here in petrified form, helping hold up the church.

The Crypt at Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

This is Finn’s wife and child, holding fast to another pillar. What the truth of the matter is and who they represent is lost to time, and that’s perfectly okay as humanity is rarely interested in truths when a good story is at hand.

The Crypt at Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

The oldest grave down here is of Hermann of Schleswig buried in the 12th century, but when the last burial was has proven impossible to determine.

Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

There are two rows of medieval choir stalls that not only are some of the largest Gothic carved wooden sculptures anywhere but have been in place since the late 14th century, surviving for more than 600 years.

Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

There are a total of 78 seats and not one of them has been sat in by me or Caroline. This concludes our second visit to the Lund Cathedral.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

With time to spare before the astronomical clock sounds at noon, we walked over to Kulturen i Lund (Museum of Cultural History) to visit the outdoor living history museum.

Runestone at Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

Yesterday we saw our first runestone that was weathered, incomplete, and hidden in a dark space, but this one is magnificent and complex, at least in our eyes. This runestone dates to the year 1000, is carved in the Younger Futhark runic alphabet, and reads, “Káulf and Autir set this stone in memory of Tumi, their brother, who owned Gudis Snape” which is now the small village of Gussnava down near Ystad.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

The first thing that comes to mind in this Museum is Colonial Williamsburg back in Virginia, except it’s Swedish, located in Europe, and older.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

This is the world’s second-oldest open-air museum after Skansen in Stockholm.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

As the museum was taking form back in 1882, there still existed many buildings from the Middle Ages up to their present that the museum could relocate from the surrounding areas, and that’s just what they did. According to the literature, everything is authentic, and we assume the wall paintings are, too; I wish this kind of stuff was on our walls.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

With only a little more than 90 minutes at the museum, we are rushing through the grounds which is easy enough, seeing it’s a Thursday outside of the main tourism season. Due to the time of year that we are here, there are no demonstrations going on, which expedites things, too, although we are left to wonder how much excitement we are missing.

There is so much we could reach out and touch, there are no cameras, and no docents sitting by watching visitors. Most likely, in the United States, people would have carved their names into things, taken souvenirs, or posed with the displays in ways that would be disrespectful to the exhibits. Now, I’m sure that the figures hanging against the wall are not authentic historic pieces and that the stools are modern, but that a lot of this stuff can be unattended by security, unobserved by surveillance, or behind protective barriers should be noted.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

If only eco-tourism were to turn to eco/history tourism, we could spend a week in an environment that eschewed particular conveniences, allowing visitors to experience life outside of time.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

An old farmhouse with a spinning wheel, loom, and other fiber-related tools would keep Caroline busy, while a library and a writing desk could easily occupy my time, making for a world-class vacation.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

I don’t typically have a good impression of open-air museums as my sense is that they are heavy-handed affairs with all of the authenticity of a Renaissance Festival in the Arizona desert, but the presentation here in Lund is excellent and nearly fully immersive. There are some worker vehicles nearby and a bit of scaffolding for a building that’s being preserved, but aside from that, it’s pretty easy to get lost in history. Most of the signage offering historical tidbits (down to the names of previous occupants and their stories) is bilingual.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

I suppose in a litigious society with liability insurance and draconian rules regarding access and exposure to hazards like low doorways where someone could “crack their skull,” those things become the reasons why the edges are being removed from public spaces. And then, details such as this roof cannot exist because when you pay people minimum wage in the American economy, the skills to support such things don’t add up. There are moments that I feel nothing adds up in the United States when it comes to quality of life unless you are incredibly wealthy and can exist in a gated fortress.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

The American aristocracy of 100 years ago was able to buy up untold numbers of art and treasures to decorate their mansions. While people like Industrialist Andrew Carnegie became philanthropists funding a myriad of libraries, the investment in the public space has really only benefited those of means. For example, sure, we have museums, but the best ones are in New York City, Chicago, Washington, D.C., Philadephia, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, while here in Europe, it’s not uncommon to find treasures in small out-of-the-way places such as Lund, Sweden; Stuttgart, Germany; or Ostend, Belgium. I suppose it’s simply one of the defining characteristics of a culture that invests in quality of life compared to one that invests to see how concentrated wealth can become.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

Out of view on the right is a loom, while before us is a bundle of flax and the requisite tools to start turning it into linen fibers.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

There was an exhibit going on during our visit dedicated to sharing cultural information about the Sámi people of northern Sweden, Norway, and Finland, but we needed to beat feet back over to the cathedral as our 1-minute concert would begin soon, and we couldn’t miss it.

Kulturen in Lund - Museum of Cultural History in Lund, Sweden

The weather is turning ominous while the view appears medieval.

Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

Life should be accompanied by on-demand guides knowledgeable about everything we could possibly want to know about, such as these crazy psychedelic sculptures at the closed side entrance of the cathedral.

Astronomical Clock at the Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

For hundreds of years, these knights have raised their swords to do battle, never having resolved the conflict…

Astronomical Clock at the Lund Cathedral in Lund, Sweden

…while this procession rarely fails to emerge from the darkness to make an appearance charming those in attendance.

Caroline Wise at Grand Deli in Lund, Sweden

On the hunt for lunch, we passed what is obviously a popular place, it’s called Swedish Express and with a dozen people in line and very limited seating, we had to skip this opportunity for more Swedish meatballs as it was raining. Down a couple more doors, we entered the Grand Deli, snagged a couple of places to sit, and got ready to eat whatever they had. Great choice this was, even though they have a very limited lunch menu featuring two different daily offerings. Today was either a lentil-based vegetarian bowl or a pulled pork version that was nearly the same; I ordered one of each.

Our mid-day meal in this little gourmet joint that doubles as a small market was delightful. Bread and a bottle of chilled water were included. This was not our first encounter with the kind of utensils we were provided; they are biodegradable and compostable made from various natural materials such as rice husk, bamboo, and/or wheat straw. Mind you, this attention to detail we might expect from a hipster pricey spot in NYC, SF, or LA, but in the city of Lund, Sweden, with a population of just around 100,000, this feels extraordinary to me.

Broder Jakobs Cafe in Lund, Sweden

A couple more doors away is Broder Jakobs Cafe, where we picked up the fixings for a fika under the back patio awning in the rain. Armed with a cinnamon and cardamom roll and two coffees, we were punctuating our short visit to Lund with perfection.

Train to Gothenburg, Sweden

We left Lund under a light rain for the 2.25-hour train ride to Gothenburg, where I was hoping there would be no rain. This was the first time on vacation that I found a large block of free time to sit and ponder things, but the hat of profundity was missing, and the hope of whipping out some writing I could be proud of felt far away. Even some bad writing to be properly embarrassed by if it’s stylistically poor enough is desired and preferred over more mediocre blatherings that typically represent the “Did this, went there, saw that” bit of crap that made up the majority of notes taken at this juncture of our trip.

I was busy trying to distract myself by looking out the window as we sped along at 200 km/h (125 mph) over the murky landscape beneath gray skies, passing plowed fields, occasional plots of corn, and even a windmill, but as I gazed into the world racing by, nothing in my mind said: “Get ready for inspiration.” On the contrary, the whispers of crickets and light flutter of cobwebs suggested that the cavernous space between my ears had been vacated.

I hoped I’d be saved by the first stop on the route as we pulled into Helsingborg, and my camera talked to me, telling me to make art or at least take a photo so that upon committing these handwritten notes to the computer upon returning to the U.S., you might have an image that could inspire something or other. But here I am so many weeks later and have nothing to add, so I transcribe my notes and move on.

Train to Gothenburg, Sweden

Maybe part of the problem is that there has been no idle time to stop and reflect on the collection of impressions that are falling into our senses at a frenetic pace. With an empty head, I find myself focusing on distractions I can use to further distract myself by blaming others for what I’m missing. There’s a clone of a generic businessman to our left who is mad-typing with a serious urgency that is destroying my 1st class experience. Then there’s the Covid cougher a couple of rows over who is hacking incessantly. Sweet god, someone a few rows ahead is aggressively unwrapping another bonbon, possibly the sixth or seventh bonbon, with cellophane crinkles that are likely disturbing people in other cars. I’ll certainly become unhinged at this rate because how many damn bonbons does one need to unwrap in a place of relative silence?

Meanwhile, Caroline sits carelessly oblivious with headphones on, busy with yet another Swedish Duolingo lesson that has allowed her to master saying Tak for thanks and Hej (sounds like Hey) for hello. Hey, rope’s end; meet John’s inability to tolerate Mr. Bonbon and the guy whose phone is audibly alerting him for each and every text message. I think I’m reaching the edge of no return, and rage will make an appearance. Had I wanted a declasse trash concert of the etiquette deficient, I would have saved the money and joined the peasants of 2nd class. Paying for the privilege to sit with these snob assholes was for the pristine environment that was going to allow me to tap the creative flow instead of plumbing bitter lament.

Knitting on Train to Gothenburg, Sweden

Hmm, should I offer a weather report, talk about a train stop, or file a noise disturbance report with the conductor? Or how about sharing how annoying I am to Caroline with every kvetch I toss off as I over-dramatize how annoying everyone else is, thus becoming the most annoying person sitting right next to my wife? Come to think about it; maybe this can be considered a creative writing exercise where I flirt with madness, thus walking in the footsteps that took Strindberg into writing Inferno.

Forty-five more minutes pass while searching my head of emptiness, and now I’m even running out of kvetch though I’m still able to bring out the sense of annoyance to my seatmate. On the other hand, we’re going really fast through the rain, and the noisy fellow travelers have quieted down by now. As for Caroline, she sits mostly outside the turmoil afflicting me while she listens to her audiobook about George Washington and busies herself knitting my next pair of socks. I hate to admit it, but maybe I should take up knitting.

I’ve lost count of the number of crinkly cellophane wrappers this idiot has been able to unwrap in two hours. If it weren’t for the fact that we’d be deboarding in 20 minutes, I’d walk up to him and garrot him with Caroline’s headphone cable. I’m now seriously considering downgrading tomorrow’s trip to Stockholm, as it is painfully obvious that the Swedes do not respect proper train manners. Too bad, because otherwise, they too could be perfect like the Danes and Germans.

Old Tram in Gothenburg, Sweden

We’ve arrived in Gothenburg (pronounced Yotta-bourry in Swedish), and I need to find a church to beg forgiveness for my transgressions of entertaining murderous aspirations, but it better be Catholic as a Protestant church will do nothing for my soul.

Gothenburg, Sweden

A not-so-funny thing happened on the way to check into our hotel: a wheel on our suitcase crumbled into half a dozen pieces, and now we are pulling the loudest-ever clickety-clackety suitcase over cobblestones. This would be okay if we were willing to go buy another bag, but we’d rather suffer the indignity of disturbing the peace of anyone within a block distance than give up 30 minutes of vacation trying to find a replacement that can wait until we return to Arizona, we hope.

Oraklet Statue (The Oracle) in Gothenburg, Sweden

Outside the Gothenburg Cathedral sits this statue; she’s known as the Oraklet (The Oracle). This was an early rendition of The Little Mermaid back when Hans Christian Andersen was still floating the idea of writing something along the lines of Mary Shelley’s The Modern Prometheus but was angling for a seafood connection.

Gothenburg Cathedral in Gothenburg, Sweden

Starting in 1621, a stave church stood here, followed by a cathedral, then another cathedral, and then finally this one. Over the course of less than 100 years, two cathedrals burned down, along with a high school and 290 houses in total, until this rather uninspired building became the third cathedral.

Gothenburg Cathedral in Gothenburg, Sweden

Not feeling the inspiration – from my view, this is the European version of the strip mall church.

Gothenburg, Sweden

On Västra Hamngatan stands a building with this statue of SVEA, who is the personification of mother Sweden.

Gothenburg, Sweden

One of approximately 30 public drinking fountains found across the city.

Diner in Gothenburg, Sweden

These small shacks scattered across Europe serve standard fast-food fare, but they are independently owned mom-and-pop operations that offer variety when everything else is a franchise. Maybe I have some kind of nostalgic feeling for them as they trigger old memories of diners and something from my own past that doesn’t seem to exist on the shores over the Atlantic anymore.

Gothenburg, Sweden

I could be mistaken, but I’d swear this is Swedish Wiesbaden. Of course, you’d have to know something or other about that German city.

Window Shopping in Gothenburg, Sweden

Walking through the shopping area, most everything is closed, but window shopping might be more satisfying as it means we don’t have to waste time stopping in every other one.

Window Shopping in Gothenburg, Sweden

The girl at the front desk of our hotel told us about a no-frills restaurant called KöttbulleKällaren, which serves, you guessed it, Köttbullar (Swedish meatballs). They were definitely on the large side, covered in something that could be called brown gravy, a weak concoction of lingonberry, and some rather chunky mashed potatoes, but it was cheap, and we were fed.

This is the window display of the oldest tea and coffee shop in Gothenburg called Indiska Thé & Kaffe Magasinet; the place is an artwork in its own right.

Evening in Gothenburg, Sweden

We’re back at the Gothenburg Central Station because our hotel is nearby and the day for us is over.

Evening in Gothenburg, Sweden

The view from our hotel room is of the railyard. Can you guess that we’re here because it was one of the cheapest in town? Let’s hope for better weather tomorrow so we can see this Swedish city in a better light. But don’t construe that the day could have been any better; we are thrilled about the breadth of our experiences in Sweden on our third day here.